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  1. #11
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Number five is good, along with rationalization. I enjoy catharsis, although I've been able to do it relatively little lately.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Do you know what your enneagram is?
    Maybe the answer is in there somewhere.

    But yeah, "not below expectations" is like a punch in the stomach.

    If you can't remember what the wound is right off the top of your head, I don't recommend going into your past memory and stirring up trouble, but maybe spending 10 or 15 minutes on thinking back and trying to recall the first time you ever felt that way would be good.
    It could be perfection-related or shame-related, and almost always parent-related.
    I think I am an enneagram 5. But I haven't spent enough time looking.

    I've been trying to remember the very first time I felt that way, and I don't know when it started. It seems every memory where I've done average or worse has that feeling for me. Though as an adult that has bothered me a lot less on things like video games and other things I don't deem important.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  3. #13
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    5 - Enneagram Type Five: The Investigator

    Type Five in Brief

    Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.

    • Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable
    • Basic Desire: To be capable and competent

  4. #14
    Senior Member Bella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    Let us say one begins to feel worthless and hopeless, and knows these feelings are greatly out of proprtion to the events that triggered them.

    What is the best course of action:
    1) Distract oneself with diversions?
    2) Exercise, rely on endorphins and better sustained health to make the ill-feelings disappear?
    3) Keep a "stiff upper lip" and keep doing what needs to be done?
    4) Keep telling yourself that the feelngs are not proportional to the situation and hope they go away?
    5) Embrace fully the feelings and do what the associated impulse are with a belief that they will be "out of your system?"
    6) Seek professional help?
    7) Something else?

    3 and 4, and on a slightly more enlightened day I'll try the first half of 5.
    yesiknowimamiserablegrouchnowgoawayovmeleor

    It's Mizzz ST, thank you...

  5. #15
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Negative feelings are there for you. They help you learn about yourself. They tell you what you value, your expectations, how you view yourself and others.

    I don't know what you ought to do with them.

    I usually face them, try to understand why I'm feeling that way, try to put things in perspective, and remind myself that feeling badly about something is the first step to feeling okay.

  6. #16
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    Let us say one begins to feel worthless and hopeless, and knows these feelings are greatly out of proportion to the events that triggered them. What is the best course of action:
    It depends on your personality.

    I can "power" through them.
    But I know people who are more emotion-based who just can't do it.
    It used to frustrate me a lot to see that.
    But I realized that we need different strategies.

    With me, I just need reassurance/input that I can cling to, to help me believe that I honestly am not worthless/hopeless. If I think the latter is "truth," then I can cling to it. If I have not gotten data that lets me know that the situation is not hopeless or that I have value, then that's where I get confused.

    So I go data collecting.
    And I check my physical needs to make sure they aren't causing the swing either.
    I can also try to "change the situation" so I feel I have some power.

    as far as your list, I've done:

    1, 2, 4, 6

    However, #1 is not a long-term solution.
    #2 is not always effective, depending on the root case.
    #3 (which I don't endorse in general) is only good if you HAVE to get through the situation and your feelings just can't be allowed to interfere; but it is a terrible long-term strategy.
    #4, I would cross off the last part; you need to accept the feelings might NEVER go away but that you are giving them more credit than they deserve, and you learn to reroute your thinking pattern to avoid basing decisions on those particular feelings. (basically, consider your "feelings tree" to be defective because it's telling you things that are not true or that would destroy you; so you have to reroute and no longer give that bit of wiring control over your system.)
    #5, destructive usually.
    #6, ranges from useless to positive.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #17
    Senior Member Bufo's Avatar
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    What is the best course of action:

    1) Distract oneself with diversions?
    2) Exercise, rely on endorphins and better sustained health to make the ill-feelings disappear?
    3) Keep a "stiff upper lip" and keep doing what needs to be done?
    4) Keep telling yourself that the feelngs are not proportional to the situation and hope they go away?
    5) Embrace fully the feelings and do what the associated impulse are with a belief that they will be "out of your system?"
    6) Seek professional help?
    7) Something else?

    1: Good for minimizing the stress for the moment.

    3: Of course. Any nuisance mustn't stand in your way.

    4: The best long-term remedy.

    5: At least don't deny the feeling.

  8. #18
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    I go with number 5 most of the time, but the Brit in me also does the stiff upper lip what what.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  9. #19
    Senior Member Kora's Avatar
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    Swallow them, bottle them up inside of your mind and act as they never, never existed. Would be 1+4+5.
    Yeah well, rationalizing them it's also a choice. But they usually look too irrational to me.
    5w4 - Idiosyncratic/Leisurely/Dramatic
    It's the devil's way now.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    Rationalize them to death.
    Yes. Exercise is great as well.

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