[NT] Do you answer your phone?

[Natrushka]

Like substitute said, it is relevant in that answering a telephone call means engaging in social obligations. It's the comfort level one has with interaction that drives how one views the instrument of the telephone.

A reluctance to answer the telephone is directly proportional to a reluctance to engage with the demands of society at any given moment.

I used to live in suburbia. It was stressful for me in that neighbours were right on top of one another. We had what we call "garage people"; they'd live in their garages. Beautiful huge homes, on tiny pieces of land, all squashed next to each other. Many of them blew all their money on the house, they could barely afford window coverings. They certainly could not afford fences or decks for their tiny backyards so they put their lawn furniture, bbqs, pool tables, extra TVs and fridges in their garages. And then invited friends over. Parties in the garages would go on until midnight - on work nights. The noise level was unbelievable.

When I lived there, not only would I not answer the phone, I wouldn't answer the doorbell unless I was expecting someone.

Fast forward three years later, living in the country on an acre and a half with neighbours of similar intent (escaped the city, large properties) and I find I don't cringe when the phone rings. Or when someone comes to the door. I'm a lot less stressed here and a lot more willing to engage.

 

[Ariadne]

I only answer the phone when it's someone I know really well. (Basically... Two friends and three close relatives.) Otherwise, I ignore it.

One of those friends, an ESFJ, actually moved me up to that level. Before, I never answered the phone, no matter who it was. (She called me over and over until I finally just gave up ignoring her.)

I'm an INTJ.

 

[PuddleRiver]

Hi INTJ, Welcome aboard.

 

[Hoth]

I do answer my phone if it rings, since somehow it'd feel rude to ignore it and anyhow that's the quickest way to quiet it, but I leave the ringer off most of the time so it can't. Anybody I'd want to hear from would catch me online... all phone calls are wrong numbers, survey-takers, or my dentist reminding me of an appointment I'm well aware of.

A ringing phone is an awful sound. It's like an indoor leaf blower. The knowledge that it could ring at any time is what can gnaw on me though (hence the need to turn it off).

 

[Quiesce]

I don't even have a traditional phone and associated service.
Outbound calling needs are handle with Skype's SkypeOut service.

I have an old mobile phone for emergency (police/fire) calls.


In other words:

I answer my phone so rarely... that it walked out on me and I haven't even noticed yet.

 

[Natrushka]

I do answer my phone if it rings, since somehow it'd feel rude to ignore it and anyhow that's the quickest way to quiet it, but I leave the ringer off most of the time so it can't. Anybody I'd want to hear from would catch me online... all phone calls are wrong numbers, survey-takers, or my dentist reminding me of an appointment I'm well aware of.

A ringing phone is an awful sound. It's like an indoor leaf blower. The knowledge that it could ring at any time is what can gnaw on me though (hence the need to turn it off).

Yes, just the thought that it might ring is sometimes stressful for me. And I turn off all the ringers but one - the phone in the basement, it's far enough away that I hear it but it doesn't drill through me.

 

[heart]

I rarely pick up the phone without seeing who is calling and often I do let the voice mail get the call and call back at some other time. Some days I just don't feel like talking.

My husband is the only person who has my cell phone number. He keeps trying to give it out to other people and I keep having to warn him not to.

 

[Quiesce]

I rarely pick up the phone without seeing who is calling and often I do let the voice mail get the call and call back at some other time. Some days I just don't feel like talking.

My husband is the only person who has my cell phone number. He keeps trying to give it out to other people and I keep having to warn him not to.

I had a similar problem while my mobile phone had service.
Three people had that number, and I had to keep reminding two of them to not give it out.

That didn't work out so well.

 

[heart]

I had a similar problem while my mobile phone had service.
Three people had that number, and I had to keep reminding two of them to not give it out.

That didn't work out so well.

That is exactly why I haven't given it out to my two closest female friends or my sisters.

 

[Quiesce]

I am still looking for a solution to this that doesn't cost a fortune.

For you... perhaps less sisters? I have only one and I find this helps greatly.

 

[prplchknz]

If I know the person I'll answer. I've had issues with this company trying to sale me health insurance, which I have no use for since I'm under my dad's until I'm 25 and being only 20. Well they'd call from a different number every time, so i would answer it thinking it was someone who had given my number to during a party or a classmate but no they wanted to sale insurance. I finally asked them nicely to quit calling me, they called the next day I went off on them. They said they wouldn't, whatever happen to respecting personal space? I have one "friend" (ESFx?) who calls all the time and she's annoying and if I don't answer right away, because I can't possibly be outside or in the shower and not take my phone with me. Will call back 10 times and I'll check my phone and it will be all these missed calls from her and I will sometimes call her back and then I'm a terrible person and I clearly hate her. WTF?! even if I'm not mad at her for calling me so many times when she accuses me of being anti-social/emo I am. then I tell her to fuck off. She's human and I can be around her when she's on meds but last time she wasn't and I wanted to kill myself (but then my car flooded so I had an excuse to leave), she has no personal space I tell her not to do something because I don't like it. I have three people in my life that I will let grab on me and she's not one of them. Now I'll give her a hug I'll give anyone a hug that's not invasion of personal space. alright so back to the phone. I answer it if I know the person and I know they aren't going to annoy me, which most of my friends call to ask if I want to do something with them so it's 5 minutes at most on the phone.

INFP

 

[Natrushka]

I am still looking for a solution to this that doesn't cost a fortune.

For you... perhaps less sisters? I have only one and I find this helps greatly.

Keep your phone turned off until you need to use it? I do this with my cell phone. It's there for my convenience.

 

[heart]

I am still looking for a solution to this that doesn't cost a fortune.

For you... perhaps less sisters? I have only one and I find this helps greatly.

I only have one sister who will speak with me, but that sister might give the number to my brother or my late brother's wife and then where is it going to end then? They can call me on my land line and that way when my cell rings, I know it is my husband. It is a good solution for me.

 

[Quiesce]

Keep your phone turned off until you need to use it? I do this with my cell phone. It's there for my convenience.

I am glad for you, but that does not work when you have people that will hound you through all available means of communication if you don't answer your phone. I don't know how serious she is, but my mother comments that she worries I am dead when I don't answer. I also have to be available to some people at all times. Not many, but enough.

I only have one sister who will speak with me, but that sister might give the number to my brother or my late brother's wife and then where is it going to end then? They can call me on my land line and that way when my cell rings, I know it is my husband. It is a good solution for me.

I hope you don't think I am questioning your method, it seems like it works well for you. It just wouldn't work for anyone with only one phone, or sensitivity to random and/or unidentified ringing. Both of which describe me.

 

[Natrushka]

I don't know how serious she is, but my mother comments that she worries I am dead when I don't answer.

My sympathies.

 

[heart]

I hope you don't think I am questioning your method, it seems like it works well for you. It just wouldn't work for anyone with only one phone, or sensitivity to random and/or unidentified ringing. Both of which describe me.

Yeah you are right about that, definately having a land line and a cell are a good thing ... I turn the ringer off the phone and let the voice mail pick it up. My husband got tired of not being able to get me on the phone when he wanted to, so he got me the cell. Hey, it is mostly his people that I am avoiding anyway...

Years ago when I worked night shift, the telemarketers used to drive me crazy...back then I could not turn off the ringer in case my father needed me. (He was disabled) I used to come awake, listen to the first few words of the message and then go back to sleep.

 

[OK Radio]

Ashi,K?, turn off your ringtone to keep the dagger of unexpected ringing from disturbing your solace and call your mom more often. Call her daily, even.

Call off the hounds, as it were.

It's unreasonable of your mother to assume you're dead if you do not immediately pick up the telephone. She's saying that because she dislikes getting your message service. It's blackmail. Decide how want to deal with it.

 

[spirilis]

I hate phones. I do not answer at all if I'm busy, or not in the mood. If I'm not in the mood, I'll let it go to voicemail, then listen to the voicemail shortly after... or forget to check it for a day

 

[Limey]

I almost never answer my phone, I have a Treo 650 onto which I installed TAC (Treo Area Codes) which tells me the state city and town of where the call is coming from when it rings.

I know most of my co-workers in each state so I might shoot an email prefaced with "missed your call, what's up"

But to answer it's like a flow chart for me:

1. Do I have time?
2. Am I alone?
3. Is anyone in eavesdrop range?
4. Do I even want to speak to someone in ding dang dawg land or wherever they're calling from, with my voice.

I'm archetypal INTJ (IMHO)

 

[outcast]

I only have a cell phone now and am pretty picky about who has my number. If I feel like talking to the person, I'll answer. Since I am an extravert - that is most of the time. My biggest dilemma is when I am already on the phone with someone and someone else I like better is calling, or someone I've been waiting on a call from. Usually I will excuse myself and switch over, but cell phones are not as good with giving you time to do so.