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  1. #41
    Senior Member Dark Razor's Avatar
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    I dont have my house phone plugged in ever, I do have a cell phone but I mostly use it for SMS, that way I can answer when I want and dont have to interrupt what I am doing. I also tell people to send me email instead of calling me on the phone, most have understood that by now, IM is also great for non-intrusive communications. Generally I feel that if someone calls me on the phone they are invading my privacy because I am expected to just drop anything to answer to them. For the same reason I ususally dont answer the door bell, except when I'm awaiting someone.

  2. #42
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    No, I don't answer the phone. When I am at home, I usually try to lose myself deep in thought. This is why I always have my cell phone off. And when the house phone rings and interrupts my transe, I am sorely tempted to hit the off button on that one or unplug altogether. But I am usually stuck too far in my head to coordinate that, and low on physical energy as usual. At times I've spent over 10 hours just thinking...my solitary meditations are nearly everything to me and that ringing noise is quite the petulance for that one reason..

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  3. #43
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Sometimes I answer calls I know are from telemarketers - those dinner-time, late, evening calls - with "State your business". It knocks them for a loop.

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    Really.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Dark Razor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Sometimes I answer calls I know are from telemarketers - those dinner-time, late, evening calls - with "State your business". It knocks them for a loop.


    I usually answer the phone with an intimidating "JA?!!"

  5. #45
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Do you answer your phone?
    It's a miracle when my cell is on and whoever calls soon learns why answering machines and family exist. I just don't like talking on the phone. I'me a very visual person and I get easily distracted when I only have a voice to listen to. This is why I'm usually the one to call my mother on the weekends when I'm away, and why she knows the phone will NEVER be on unless it's a weekend.

    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    B]And what type are you?[/B]
    INFJ

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Sometimes I answer calls I know are from telemarketers - those dinner-time, late, evening calls - with "State your business". It knocks them for a loop.
    I would love for people to answer the phone that way for me.


    I answer the phone if I feel like it. INTP
    I don't wanna!

  7. #47
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I guess my earlier post in this thread made me come off more antisocial than I am... I mean, it's not like I take pride in being as awkward and incommunicado as possible. I realise that it's rather selfish of me sometimes to just refuse to pick up the phone because I don't feel like it, even if I'm not doing anything in particular. So sometimes (quite often actually) this thought overrides my tendency to not want to pick up, cos I figure, y'know, that's what friends are for, and if I was feeling down and just wanted to have a chat with a friend to cheer me up, I'd be pissed if my friend wouldn't be there for me just cos they felt like having a little introvert contest with themselves.

    But if I pick up, thinking like this, and it turns out to be someone who's just bored and doesn't really need to call me (could call someone else who's more inclined to talk, and I know they have others to call), I'll wrap it up as soon as I can. Sometimes though, I think there's a reason why someone's called me instead of someone else, so it's selfish to turn away. We never know really what's in the mind of the other person, despite their words. They may need us, just to say hello for a minute or two, no big deal to us but might be for them, so why not do it?

    Otherwise it's a bit like saying I'll only be someone's friend, only be there for them when I deem it appropriate, and bugger their needs. Nah, I couldn't be like that, man. A lot of you guys seem to sound like you're saying you only want friendship or contact with humans when it suits you and your purposes, and like your routines are so damn important you can't interrupt them for a minute to just give someone the courtesy of speaking to them - even if just to ask them to come back later cos you're not up for it right now - when they've made the effort to come to you. Bit rude, and very selfish, IMO.
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  8. #48
    Lallygag Moderator Geoff's Avatar
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    The phone equates to a noise that is repeating, over and over.. "talk to me now... talk to me now.... talk to me now....". I prefer to control whether I want to talk to someone, so I screen calls through an answerphone, and then phone back if and when I want to.

    Of course, the UK has nothing like the phone culture that many of you are used to. Mine might not be used for weeks at a time.

    -Geoff

  9. #49
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Otherwise it's a bit like saying I'll only be someone's friend, only be there for them when I deem it appropriate, and bugger their needs. Nah, I couldn't be like that, man. A lot of you guys seem to sound like you're saying you only want friendship or contact with humans when it suits you and your purposes, and like your routines are so damn important you can't interrupt them for a minute to just give someone the courtesy of speaking to them - even if just to ask them to come back later cos you're not up for it right now - when they've made the effort to come to you. Bit rude, and very selfish, IMO.
    I think you're equating being available for telephone calls to being available in a general sense. If I'm not up for it now, I don't see the difference between not answering and blowing them off after I do answer, except one involves actively blowing them off. I'd prefer to avoid that, precisely BECAUSE I do love my friends and family and don't like blowing them off.

    Yes, I've got some firm boundaries (in part due to a personal history of not having firm enough boundaries and taking on too much) but if a friend leaves a message and sounds wistful or expresses a desire to get together in person, I'll usually call them right back and invite them over or see if they want to get coffee or something. I'm just not a fan of using the phone for much more than doing business or arranging real, physical, friendly contact. If somebody's too far away or we can't get together for whatever reason, then I'm up for chatting, but I don't think not always being up for phone chats makes me a selfish friend in general.
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  10. #50
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff View Post
    The phone equates to a noise that is repeating, over and over.. "talk to me now... talk to me now.... talk to me now....". I prefer to control whether I want to talk to someone, so I screen calls through an answerphone, and then phone back if and when I want to.

    Of course, the UK has nothing like the phone culture that many of you are used to. Mine might not be used for weeks at a time.

    -Geoff
    Indeed - it costs more for us to phone, generally, so I think a higher percentage of personal calls (non sales etc) are actually for a purpose, when someone's likely to need you. Most of the very chatty-feely types I know who like to talk on for hours on the phone, know by now not to call me for that, and they tend to call others more like them if that's what they want. So even if it's their numbers I see, I figure there's gotta be a reason why they're calling me, and there usually is.

    I know what you mean with the part I bolded, but I don't often see it as a demanding thing unless it's a business call. If it's a personal one, it seems to be saying more like a hopeful 'Please talk to me... please don't ignore me... be there for me... " I just figure that it's a bit selfish to say I'll only answer when it's something important to me, and I don't care if it might be important to the other person. Least I can do is pick up to find out - after all, there's nothing stopping me saying, after I find out it's not important, "Anyway I've gotta go, I was in the middle of something."

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