I'm rarely competent when it comes to synchronous communication. I don't want to embarrass myself. I don't want to alienate the other person. Social anxiety symptoms etc.
I sort of understand what you mean. I'm not going to try and be an armchair psychologist and try and diagnose the extent, but, sometimes you have to force yourself a little bit in being proactive. I can't necessarily prescribe a course of action but I remember when I was younger I used to have the same issues.
Do you have any ENFP female friends (or Extraverts who are also feelers "Fi or Fe)?
I found that they were willing to provide me training wheels and wouldn't judge or make it feel more awkward than it already was.
My cold, snide, intellectual life is just a veneer, behind which lies the plywood of loneliness.
I think this thread needs a third question:
If not . . . why not?
Because I don't wanna and you can't make me.
Seriously though, it's mainly because I am pretty intensely private and like to choose the times that I engage with outsiders carefully. I don't mean private in that I don't like to disclose details about myself (if anything I'm a compulsive self-discloser), but private more in the hermit style. I wouldn't want to live in a neighborhood where people drop by unannounced, for example.
The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
-anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii