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  1. #241
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    Quote Originally Posted by Falcon View Post
    You are completely right. When younger, we think we are nice, but we are far tougher than the others. With time, we become ever tougher. We are not there to be appreciated. The price to pay for competence is to be disliked superficially - it's a small price, and it's really worth it.

    Forget about the "oh that's nice dear" approach or the anger approach - both are stupid. Make a plan to *maximize* the competence of your daugher - it doesn't matter what level she reaches, if you have put everything in place, you have done your job. You then need to understand if her logic is flawed, which could explain her motivational bias.

    Just get out there, start projects and get involved... there's nothing better than managing projects and making things progress.
    This is really good advice . . . I find that I am especially hard on my children when I don't have outside projects. I'm a miserable housewife . . . I think it's what I want but I get bored really quickly and start creating systems for the house that no one appreciates but me. I feel a lot more at home in the corporate setting where my projects are much more appreciated. I have also learned with time that I definitely need separation from work and home in order to compartmentalize my life . . . otherwise I work until I drop. There's just too damn much I want to do in a day!

    Also, I had different strategies with all three of my children and for two of them they worked just fine. . . but my ISFJ COMPLETELY operates in the feeling realm of the here and now. I don't understand her logic AT ALL. It is frustrating for me to hear from her, "You know, mom, every thing you say will happen always happens, but I guess I'm just the kind of person who has to beat my head against the wall a few (20 or 30) times before I learn it." That kind of BS makes ENTJs apoplectic!

  2. #242
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windigo View Post
    This is really good advice . . . I find that I am especially hard on my children when I don't have outside projects. I'm a miserable housewife . . . I think it's what I want but I get bored really quickly and start creating systems for the house that no one appreciates but me. I feel a lot more at home in the corporate setting where my projects are much more appreciated. I have also learned with time that I definitely need separation from work and home in order to compartmentalize my life . . . otherwise I work until I drop. There's just too damn much I want to do in a day!

    Also, I had different strategies with all three of my children and for two of them they worked just fine. . . but my ISFJ COMPLETELY operates in the feeling realm of the here and now. I don't understand her logic AT ALL. It is frustrating for me to hear from her, "You know, mom, every thing you say will happen always happens, but I guess I'm just the kind of person who has to beat my head against the wall a few (20 or 30) times before I learn it." That kind of BS makes ENTJs apoplectic!
    My ENTJ best friend has the same problem with her ISFJ son. He hears her, acknowledges her opinion, and then just kinda does whatever it was he had in mind anyway. lol And it drives her nuts.

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