Its been a while since I posted this thread, but yes, that is essentially the conclusion I came to. I think the feeling of having to walk on eggshells to avoid eliciting defensiveness, paranoia, and retaliation from others comes down to more of a demographical issue.
I think, if I were to align myself with people of similar goals and motivations, I would be seen as more of an asset than a liability. To aggressively go against the grain, just leads to opposition. Instead of changing myself, I plan to change the company I keep. Working on it.
Use brother or sister at the end of each sentence. It works, believe me. But only a SP could pull of perfectly each time. Or come closer to people one wants to talk to. It would naturally make you sound softer. It works too.