ENTJs are great! They've got the gift of gab, they're hilarious, and are masters of the sexual innuendo. My boyfriend's an ENTJ and he's like a one man show-- a one man show who will end you if you cross him.
Hm. I know I can be pretty elitist and I tend to apply my standards to other people; but I consider myself to be one of the most understanding of other people's situations (largely because I can logically see how they got themselves into X situation).
Yes. Which often leads to being empathetic when we want to be.
We all have different motivations; I've known ENTJs who are different to me in every way except how they go about things, but it's much more about what they believe, like, dislike, fight for and so on; and that's what makes me attach or detach from someone. If I feel like I'm alienating myself or others by being unlikeable in some way, I make conscious decisions to change how I act (usually by inserting more checks before I validate a thought and then voice or act on it) until the new method becomes natural. All very scientific, but that's NT for you. There's nothing wrong with being an ENTJ; it just means having to be careful and wise with your decisions, which is the mark of a good leader anyway.
Originally Posted by Wind-up Rex
I identify with this, but I think I have a kind of vacillating perspective in terms of how I related to others. Either Im immensely laid back in terms other peoples conduct and world views, or hostilely intolerant. I find that its mostly a matter of context. If Im in a "work" mode, and find the other person to be unacceptable then theyll know about it. If I feel more social, then whatever is whatever.
This x 10000. Seriously. My natural state is "work" mode, and I even physically look like it as well. It's very frustrating and keeps life involving others inefficient due to their constant questions about my state.
Like mentioned, I come off as hostile, intimidating, and angry. Which, sadly, is not how I feel at that moment, it's just how I "look". Being raised in a family where "public impression" was very important, I had to learn to always be aware of how I come off to people even when I didn't want to, always adjusting my behavior; Oddly enough, this quickly became a habit at a young age, that sometimes I don't even notice that I am doing it. With people I don't need to keep in constant contact with, and my family, I have found it much easier for me to behave this way. No questions asked, I get my own time to think if I play along, without it being an inefficient time waste.
I noticed the older I get, the more my natural state takes over, and the less I am consciously making decisions to come off as a warmer person so I don't unintentionally to scare people away.
Keep in mind that I do this for strangers who I have not had the pleasure of calculating whether they are worthy of my efforts to try to make them comfortable.
If it's a person I can't stand. I don't make the conscious decision to try to make them comfortable, and usually that drives them away, which was my intention at this point.
With my best friends however. I'm in my natural state, and they know better than to assume the worst. I behave as I would like to, without unintentionally offending them.
I agree with you here too. I think on a basic level I care very little about most peoples opinions. However, I will adjust my behavior if I think that the blunt style thats most comfortable to me is upsetting to my ultimate goals. I dont like it but fortunately its not a difficult adjustment to make because people are fairly easy to read. Its troublesome, though, that there are times when I feel like I lose sight of the reasons Ive made the adjustments in the first place and end up in inadvantageous situations because Ive forgotten myself. Its something Ive bumped into a couple of times.
... well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:smiley_violin:
You guys pretty much summed up how I think/"feel" : )
While it's nice to be liked, you might find that it's less important than adhering to who you are within reason. Don't know about other ENTJs but if a behaviour, expression or value doesn't ring true to you, it will resonate in a negative way and eat at you.
Where we have to be careful, is not to feed the potential for narcissism within each ENTJ.
Meh who knows, my dad is an ENTJ so it my brother and my cousin. I like their get it done with duct tape so long as it works mentality. I find that I get along well with them so long as I let them feel like they are in control of the situation. The only problem I have with them is that they get angry when I go on my way when I no longer require what they were offering and they lose that control over me. They get used to having me around and used to my particular brand of intelligence and insight and when I go, they turn a little hostile. I guess I would like to see them just loosen their grip, I am never gone for good, just onto other stuff and I will be back when the time is right.
It's not something we control, people we come in contact with can't be willed
to stop competing with and being possessive towards others. The only thing
we can do to make ourselves more 'likeable' or 'less threatening' is to focus on
bringing out others strengths instead of their weaknesses and stay away from
people who always have something to say about others being this or that.