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  1. #11
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    She's already asked me out.
    That answers your question.

    Yes, obviously she favors you, she is giving fairly low-key clues to signal that she's interested. (At the least, not adverse -- but I think very interested, as you've already said. I would do all the stuff she was doing at the concert to show I was interested. Touching someone is usually not an accidental thing, unless you see her touching EVERYONE. Especially with introverts -- there is a certain "space buffer" people keep around themselves, esp with members of the opposite sex + you have the religious thing going.)

    The church I attend takes courtship very seriously. I'd need to get her father's permission to date her, but she's a convert--making our pastor her de facto gaurdian. And neither of us has been properly vetted to ensure that we're ready for the responsibilities that come with marriage.
    Wow.

    Well, all right then.

    I just think when people like each other, they want to put out signals showing it. She's giving you signals right now that are within the acceptable parameters of your (plural) faith. If you can give her signals back that are within the acceptable parameters too, go for it. I think she would appreciate it. I think if you don't give her SOMETHING to go with, she might not be sure after awhile if you're interested. So just enough, subtle stuff, to key her in and reaffirm it.

    Since you take your faith very seriously, however, you just do have to make sure your signals stay within the acceptable parameters and you're not strenuously fighting not going further all the time. That's all.
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  2. #12
    desert pelican Owl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I'd take her behavior as an indicator that she would like you to get started on the process. Do you feel motivated? lol (Our religion isn't as strict as yours, but my husband and I met at a conservative Bible College, so I kind of get where you're coming from.)
    Oh I'm motivated, but I don't want to move more quickly than the pace with which she's comfortable. She's said she wants us to be friends before (and if) we become romantically involved. And this is what's really throwing me off. Do person's who are just friends play footsie at the symphony? How do I discern where she draws the line between playful flirting and serious pursuit?


    Quote Originally Posted by Bella View Post
    Goodness gracious, what are you waiting for.

    Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not allowed her. Oops.
    You're more than welcome here. Please stay. I need a woman's point of view.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    That answers your question.

    Yes, obviously she favors you, she is giving fairly low-key clues to signal that she's interested. (At the least, not adverse -- but I think very interested, as you've already said. I would do all the stuff she was doing at the concert to show I was interested. Touching someone is usually not an accidental thing, unless you see her touching EVERYONE. Especially with introverts -- there is a certain "space buffer" people keep around themselves, esp with members of the opposite sex + you have the religious thing going.)

    Wow.

    Well, all right then.

    I just think when people like each other, they want to put out signals showing it. She's giving you signals right now that are within the acceptable parameters of your (plural) faith. If you can give her signals back that are within the acceptable parameters too, go for it. I think she would appreciate it. I think if you don't give her SOMETHING to go with, she might not be sure after awhile if you're interested. So just enough, subtle stuff, to key her in and reaffirm it.

    Since you take your faith very seriously, however, you just do have to make sure your signals stay within the acceptable parameters and you're not strenuously fighting not going further all the time. That's all.
    How would you go about this? Would you reciprocate the physical contact, or would you call her tell her what's on your mind (in person/on the phone/email?). I don't know how to flirt at all...

    My pastor seems to be a big fan of writing girls poetry... would that be coming on too strong?

  3. #13
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    She already asked you out?

    USELESS THREAD.

  4. #14
    Magical Firelie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    How would you go about this? Would you reciprocate the physical contact, or would you call her tell her what's on your mind (in person/on the phone/email?). I don't know how to flirt at all...

    My pastor seems to be a big fan of writing girls poetry... would that be coming on too strong?
    Your pastor seems rather old fashioned.If someone wrote me poetry, I'd laugh at him.

    Why don't you just talk to her more? Girls like attention as long as you don't overdo it and act clingy/stalkerish. I suppose your could reciprocate the contact, but don't let it get out of hand... since there are religious beliefs involved and all.

  5. #15
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    how old is this girl?

    the whole thing sounds as if she's underage, and you have to wait for her to be legal.
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  6. #16
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I'm guessing if she's asked you out and is pursuing you that, if she is serious about her beliefs, she means it for realz and wants to be courted.

    If she's a convert, she's probably serious about her beliefs, right? Because she went out of her way to adopt them. I mean, taken in context she's coming on pretty strong so I'd take it seriously.

    Ask her if she'd like you to speak to the pastor about the possibility of courting her.

    Edit: Oh crap, yeah. If she's underage back off.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  7. #17
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    It's hard to tell for sure because we weren't there,
    but it sounds as though she put herself near you on purpose.
    There are some women who are aggressive and I won't get into that.

    If you both have agreed that you can't court right now, then that is a boundary that can create a sense of security in a girl's mind. It's possible that she just wants to be near you and be with you, while expecting you to respect the boundary. She could even be testing you to see how much you respect her based on how willing you are to continue to respect the boundary. I can't imagine how you can go wrong erring on the side of caution. If she turns out to be offended that you do not return her advances and escalate the relationship, then perhaps she is the type of woman who you are better off rid of, based on what you have described as the standards of your faith - which by the way, I find highly commendable.

    You will probably be able to tell better the next time you see her.
    If she touches you again, it's probably not coincidence.

    Do you know what her type might be?

  8. #18
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Edit: Oh crap, yeah. If she's underage back off.
    seriously. read everything he's posted in this thread with that in mind. doesn't it sound like that?
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  9. #19
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    Either way, it doesn't matter. Thread should be called "I'm pissed off b/c I have to wait to date this girl."

  10. #20
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Either way, it doesn't matter. Thread should be called "I'm pissed off b/c I have to wait to date this girl."
    actually, it does matter.

    fuck the title. i don't want to help someone screw with some kid's head.
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