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  1. #91
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    Walk up to her and ask directly "What happened?" Don't turn into a stalker or anything but if you just let her go then it is over for sure. Don't let rejection get you down as long as your persistence isn't freaking her out keep it up. If it does scare her or irritates her stop immediately. Play it very casual but make sure she knows you still interested.

    If your pastor got involved then he may have started talking about marriage and vetting which could have freaked her out if all she had in mind was holding hands and playing footsie.

  2. #92
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Priori View Post
    get her attention by calling her first name and when you have it pick something that you like about her personality and tell her how you feel about that quality i.e. "I like the way you make every body in the room smile." Make sure to hold eye contact until she breaks it and then turn around and leave. Avoid seeing her for the next few days.
    Cheesy. Do you guys really rehearse this shit?

    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    Her friend said I don't understand that girls need space. I guess I was smothering her?
    Quote Originally Posted by Priori View Post
    Walk up to her and ask directly "What happened?" .
    Only if you want a restraining order! If she wants space, give her space! If she likes you, let her make the next move.

    What's the significance of the M&Ms, the Velcro and your loss of vice-presidential office?
    LOL!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #93
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Please help INTP understand female behavior? Oh, we understand!

    Help females understand INTP behaviour.

  4. #94
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Cheesy. Do you guys really rehearse this shit?

  5. #95
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Priori View Post
    A very wise person once gave me same advice. I think mayhaps she rues that day.
    Bwa ha ha! Well, it doesn't matter, I'm safe at the end of this IP address, no matter what.


    Or maybe she wants to be chased, to know that he wants her even though its forbidden but cant help himself. Maybe she wants him to be aggressive, to break the rules so she can just passively go along with it all the awhile protesting how wrong it is and yet still cling to him passionately.
    Oh dear, no one would ever be that duplicitous.

    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    The night with the m&m's was the last night I hung out with her. I guess it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Her friend told me to keep my distance, and then my pastor did too. (He's been in communication with both of us.)

    A few weeks later, it became apparent to others who knew the two of us that we were avoiding each other. A mutual friend asked her what happened to me, and she told him that I got the wrong idea--and he passed this bit on to me.
    Ah, well that sucks.

    It sounds to me (lookng at the whole thing) that something changed in the middle, and she's now cutting her losses in order to save face. But who really knows?


    Quote Originally Posted by Priori View Post
    Walk up to her and ask directly "What happened?" Don't turn into a stalker or anything but if you just let her go then it is over for sure. Don't let rejection get you down as long as your persistence isn't freaking her out keep it up. If it does scare her or irritates her stop immediately. Play it very casual but make sure she knows you still interested.
    Jesum crow, what part of "I was never interested in him, he got the wrong idea" don't you understand?

    Based on her behavior so far, doing something like this would be absolutely the most wrong response possible.
    She will utterly freak.
    It's done. Stick a fork in it.

    If your pastor got involved then he may have started talking about marriage and vetting which could have freaked her out if all she had in mind was holding hands and playing footsie.
    Who knows?
    But the bottom line is that it's done anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    Cheesy. Do you guys really rehearse this shit?
    I admit, it freaked me out too when this bit was suggested.

    Maybe an ENFJ might crave to it, I dunno; but gawd, I'd either bust out laughing or just get the heck out of there and stay far away. The scene screams "FAKE FAKE FAKE" and all I need to know is, "Is this guy just a loveable but clueless wonder?" or "Is this guy going to need a restraining order?"
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #96
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Pick petals from a flower and say "She loves me." and "She doesn't love me." at each flower petal you pull off. If the last flower petal is pulled off when you say "She loves me." it must be true and you must not ever stop chasing her!

  7. #97
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    Forget the opposite sex owl. There is no reason to share in the terminal foolishness that comprises relationships/courtships. Pursue higher goals and leave the duplicitous, scrofulous, and downright repulsive humanity behind.

  8. #98
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Maybe an ENFJ might crave to it, I dunno; but gawd, I'd either bust out laughing or just get the heck out of there and stay far away. The scene screams "FAKE FAKE FAKE" and all I need to know is, "Is this guy just a loveable but clueless wonder?" or "Is this guy going to need a restraining order?"

    I've done 'live field testing' and it works, even with NTs . The most powerful compliments are made about unique qualities of a person's personality vs. physical attributes - try it yourself and see how people respond. It's only fake if you don't genuinely feel that way about that person. Holding eye contact communicates self confidence as does being socially confident/competent in a group (really important to an ENFJ), and confidence is attractive. You hear people give the advice all the to 'just be confident' but they don't really tell you how to go about that do they? I advised him to avoid her for a few days because he doesn't won't to seem desperate. The point here is to communicate to her that he's still interested, but can certainly move on if need be.

    However, I do agree with you that it does feel very fake and manipulative but consider that it's the sort of thing an extrovert feeler would do on instinct were as an INTP needs training. It doesn't help that the majority of the literature on the subject is written by seedy individuals marketing specificity to the type of guy you would need a restraining order against, but not all of it is like that and even with the stuff that is you can still sift the occasionally bit of truth from all the sexist BS.

    Do these forums have the ability to upload files in PMs? If so I can send you a sample.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Based on her behavior so far, doing something like this would be absolutely the most wrong response possible.
    She will utterly freak.
    It's done. Stick a fork in it.
    Maybe, maybe not. If she really never had any romantic intentions and was totally clueless to his intentions the whole time and finds him unattractive, then yes she will utterly freak. If this isn't the case, then it maybe that something else is the issue i.e. the pastor scaring her and he can help her resolve the issue such as making sure she knows his ok with taking things as slow or as fast as she wants. Letting things sit without communicating directly is a bad idea I think, and he should at least try to learn were he went wrong for future relationships.

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