It's a waste of time to make efforts to be appreciated by people as an ENTJ. ENTJ's are arrogant bastards. People will see through their half baked attempts at being "nice" and it's fake.
What's more, there will always be a large swath of humanity who take the two-fold "grievance" of having direction and being competent as a personal affront, making the construction of such a facade doubly the waste of effort.
I think ENTJ's need to develop a "volume knob" and tone it down around people who don't value the same things that they do. That doesn't mean changing themselves and being super-friendly-social-nice (which they aren't and will seem fake), but rather adopting a more laid back and cool approach. Practically speaking, it means keeping their opinions for themselves, not arguing with others, giving up on controlling things, letting other people take the lead, and providing positive appreciation to others... unless otherwise required to do so (i.e. job, social role, etc.).
With other NT and/or assertive/self-confident types, the volume knob can come back up.
I know one ENTJ. He can be a total steamroller, but I admire his ability to get things done. He also upholds his values vehemently (environmental protection, taking care of others), though he doesn't seem comfortable with overt emotion.
His "volume" was set way too loud a few years ago, making hanging out with him a taxing experience, but in only a couple of hears he's mellowed a lot. He's only 19 now, so; so far he's off to a pretty good start in the maturity department.
1. Example: An ENTJ friend who likes to "mess with people's heads". He is very interested in underground art, everything about schizophrenia, crimes etc.
And he does mess people up. (Of course, ENTJs always deliver.) There's already a case who ended up in a mental institution after his intervention. The ENTJ will comment that he helped an ongoing problem to be solved. In reality, this person didn't have a problem before meeting the ENTJ.
He expresses openly at times that his favourite profession would be "serial killer".
He is extremely good at breaking and manipulating everybody around him to follow his goals. Often he aims at inventing a crime in which somebody else is the perceived evil-doer. I think he just has a strong drive to lead the masses, and so he organizes situations, in which the crowd wants to get someone - then leads the crowd to do that.
I mean, I like ENTJs in charge and follow them too, but if they invent a crisis just to be in charge, then I'm terrified. Moreover, it is shocking to see how the same ENTJ afterwards expresses sadness and empathy towards the one they set up. To me, this is just sick, very sick.
This ENTJ friend also often complains about his own tendency to break people along his way. Then he also complains that the world is full of broken people who should be erased. (i.e. he is unable to consider potential in everybody and to help them grow, instead he uses people like napkins and still complains about the human garbage around him)
2. Example: Three ENTJs in the same company. THEY CAN'T STAND EACH OTHER! It looks like there's always something organized by one of them and a huge amount of followers behind. At every moment a person should be careful to which group he is "assigned". It is ridiculous, as obviously the positions of each of those ENTJs cannot be valid at the same time, yet each one is so decisive, and has a theory why the other ENTJs are bastards.
They just have some personal way of looking at things, and they forcefully treat everything by how they see it - until reality is finally changed to match their vision of it. However, at a given moment each one of these ENTJs is wrong. So reality (in the nearby circle) just becomes a version of what's in their own heads. But this can be very dangerous, and surely introduces a lot of confusion in the world. Basically, ENTJs drive people forward, but their decisions what should be "forward" are usually based on very superficial personal experiences and narrow vision. They are like big kids who just want the world to do as they tell it (eg. Richard Branson).
3. Example: ENTJs and arts
I wish they were only in science and business. But no, they extend their mighty competencies over arts too. And since arts are about F, ENTJs insist to promote SF-art over NF-art. In fact, especially in ENTJ-produced movies, you can see NF/ST to be presented as the evil side - dirty, stupid and inefficient (check movies of Ellen Page, ENTJ). They almost always would shut out stories about "saint-like" heroes who achieve success, from rags to riches etc, as if all those are made up. And if you see something like that in their production, it always has the taste of insincerity, organized to cash in by popularity (check Simon Cowell's shows). It is impossible for an ENTJ to believe in such a story honestly, because they wouldn't be able to live such a life. So instead, they just set it up. I can assure you that the NF-audience intuitively detects this manipulation and feels like being fed plastic food by force.
4. Example: ENTJ and novelty
Appeal to novelty. Doesn't matter if it is inhumane. Doesn't matter if it will degrade society. It is novel, it will bring good income. So lets produce it. The argument is: "the masses want it, if I don't seize the opportunity, someone else will. I'm just giving them what they want, I am concerned citizen.." In many such cases that is really not true, and they practically invent new merciless addictions for society - by the time the hype is over, they move on to other areas.
5. Example: ENTJ and creativity
Really not that creative. They often think deep inspiration comes from something ugly - drugs, sex, violence... They are unable to see much other possibility for inspiration, like the hardships of life, or people's emotions. Their creativity (on their own) is by application of known elements, and probably system optimization. They read a lot, know a lot, and usually are on the tide of what is modern, but they are not the ones who come up with it.
6. Example: ENTJ and "the wolf among cows"
I've already observed a few examples - ENTJs are extremely good at picking inferior environments. Whether it is younger people, people from lower social classes, orphans (as the case in There Will Be Blood), people from third-world countries etc, they tend to spend periods of time surrounded by such people. For university they might choose a decent uni in a small town, over a great uni in a big town, just so that they feel superior to the people living there. They really enjoy internships to third-world countries, where they can feel like kings among "peasants". These experiences fill them up with energy and conviction of their utter superiority over the average humans. Then they "come back" to civilization to conquer it fast before the effect is gone.