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Thread: Going Numb?

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    Senior Member Array PalebloodHunter's Avatar
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    Default Going Numb?

    Does this happen to people? Is this a regular cycle? When in state of perpetual confusion (i.e. not seeing any resolution in sight), I mostly just end up in a state of nothing. I do have sparse moments of happiness when I hang out with friends or get distracted. But, it always ends back in this state.

    This is something that is past the stage of sadness (I'm not emotionless, far from it). It starts with a complete and downward spiral that doesn't last long but then you just end up feeling detached, which kinda sucks because it's not solving the problem but simply shoving it away.

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    Black Rose Array Krim13's Avatar
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    Yes. All the time. I barely notice it anymore. I'm use to feeling relatively empty. It's why I listen to music to feel more again. Bring some color into this shady heart.

    This extends to connections with people. They drift in and out. I have a hard time keeping any bond with anyone do to this detachment from most everyone. And even those I quite enjoy the company of I might forget about randomly.

    It's really quite tedious.

    I could swear I'm Schizoid.
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    Senior Member Array PalebloodHunter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krim13 View Post
    Yes. All the time. I barely notice it anymore. I'm use to feeling relatively empty. It's why I listen to music to feel more again. Bring some color into this shady heart.

    This extends to connections with people. They drift in and out. I have a hard time keeping any bond with anyone do to this detachment from most everyone. And even those I quite enjoy the company of I might forget about randomly.

    It's really quite tedious.

    I could swear I'm Schizoid.
    RIGHT? Music DOES help. But, again it's just so temporary. It feels like drug addiction (not that I've had any), you just need to keep doing something at that point else you reset back to this state.

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    Black Rose Array Krim13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PalebloodHunter View Post
    RIGHT? Music DOES help. But, again it's just so temporary. It feels like drug addiction (not that I've had any), you just need to keep doing something at that point else you reset back to this state.
    Bingo.

    Drug addiction is a perfect word. Music becomes like a drug. I've ended up listening to music almost constantly at times for days on end at times. I'd be a chronic music listener, if there was any.

    Idk how to fix it... Fall in love? Lol. So unlikely. Relations are just too fleeting. I just distract myself with constant outside stimulation like YouTube (people usually feeling emotions/funny vids, thoughtful vids, let's plays, ECT just to divert my mind and even feel something positive if said YouTubers is positive or being funny).

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    Senior Member Array PalebloodHunter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krim13 View Post
    Bingo.

    Drug addiction is a perfect word. Music becomes like a drug. I've ended up listening to music almost constantly at times for days on end at times. I'd be a chronic music listener, if there was any.

    Idk how to fix it... Fall in love? Lol. So unlikely. Relations are just too fleeting. I just distract myself with constant outside stimulation like YouTube (people usually feeling emotions/funny vids, thoughtful vids, let's plays, ECT just to divert my mind and even feel something positive if said YouTubers is positive or being funny).
    Well falling in love is what I thought as well. (I wrote about that here) It was great and there was a whole period of bliss. But, that was taken out and now that I'm trying to isolate, this void has come back. I've been taking up a lot of hobbies (bartending, volunteering for events) and as a contracted writer, I've been blazing through my writing assignments in record time. They give me great boosts of joy. But, I always return to this state.

    I honestly don't know why this happens and what must one do to get this out. I can't get no satisfaction. xD

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    Mind Wanderer Array Zeego's Avatar
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    Sounds like clinical depression to me. Long-term apathy is not healthy. I'd suggest seeing a therapist, if possible.
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    Senior Member Array Thirteenly's Avatar
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    Not an ENTP, but, I feel like this a lot. I can't seem to care about things, but I still do them because.. I feel like I have to. I feel like I'm just going through some motions and just, like, I'm some spirit or being in some body but I'm not doing anything and then it's like, hey, why am I existing? I feel different from everyone, and no matter how I try, nobody will like me and like I'm doing everything wrong. I can't get rid of this feeling, but I know what I'm feeling isn't normal.
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    shrek is love Array agentwashington's Avatar
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    Yes. That's pretty much why I only watch comedies.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zeego View Post
    Sounds like clinical depression to me. Long-term apathy is not healthy. I'd suggest seeing a therapist, if possible.
    Also yes. Depression isn't just feeling sad; sometimes it's not feeling anything.
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    Mind Wanderer Array Zeego's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by agentwashington View Post
    Depression isn't just feeling sad; sometimes it's not feeling anything.
    Exactly! I tried explaining this to people when I had depression about a year or so ago.
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    Senior Member Array PalebloodHunter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zeego View Post
    Sounds like clinical depression to me. Long-term apathy is not healthy. I'd suggest seeing a therapist, if possible.
    Here's where it's confusing. It's not apathy as such. I have many interests, both spontaneous and consistent. I'm proactive in a lot of activities and I enjoy a lot while engaged in these tasks. I'm not even uncomfortable around group of people, and I always manage to make everyone laugh and there isn't much of a dull moment around.

    However, it's mostly that my opinions are in such stark contrast with everyone I always end up feeling like I'm walking in the opposite direction. And that's not an issue but sometimes you just wish you could fit in sometimes. (However, you know that people are attracted to you because of the unique perspective you offer) There's a lot of conflict and contradiction and it feels like this numbness is just a defense mechanism of sorts.

    And I don't know what it is that can help ease that out. It's not like I have job issues. I quit my corporate job to start writing for videogames. I'm following my passion. The work environment is very friendly. My life is falling into place. Every thing is better right now. But, this thing still persists.

    If all of that sounds like garbled mess, I'm sorry. I don't know how to put it across clearly :|

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