[ENTJ] What would a INTJ + ENTJ relationship be?

[The Terminator]

I have no experience in INTJ + ENTJ relationship. How was it like? Was she/he bossy?

 

[Zeldon]

Not sure, but I think the two would be a good match for therapy considering their differences.

 

[helbert]

Yeah there is NO WAY I would ever date an ENTJ. I have one good ENTJ friend and she is just as narcissistic and manipulative as me but is completely outright about it wheras I keep it hidden, which makes me resent her. She is just generally a lot less self-controlled than me, prone to random emotional outbursts when the tension starts to build up inside, and really bossy. She can't handle any sort of criticism or dissent, and gets really upset when I dare to disagree with her. She can throw a tantrum all she wants but I'll never give her anything other than an icy stare, which makes her even angrier. I also don't like her passive-aggressiveness and the way she acts super sweet and charming to people when underneath she's a cold-hearted villain like me.

Based off of the differences of the two types I would say that it would be one of the worst combinations possible, although what I dislike about my friend might be partly due to her turbulence. Her and I get along well and are very similar on the inside but the way we live our lives externally and our interests are just miles apart. It would take a lot of maturity to make it work, I think, as both types are very controlling and wouldn't be able to manipulate each other.

 

[Jboss]

...narcissistic and manipulative...a lot less self-controlled than me, prone to random emotional outbursts when the tension starts to build up inside, and really bossy. She can't handle any sort of criticism or dissent, and gets really upset when I dare to disagree with her....I also don't like her passive-aggressiveness and the way she acts super sweet and charming to people when underneath she's a cold-hearted villain.

This post sounds like it was written by literally every boy that has ever dated me. Hahahaha

 

[INTJMom]

I have no experience in INTJ + ENTJ relationship. How was it like? Was she/he bossy?

There is a very good website that provides relationship information.

They say that For an INTJ, an ENTJ is a "Pal" relationship.

This is a list of the relationships they have identified.
Type Relationships and their Definition:
Advisor...........each has an area of insight that the other lacks
Cohort...........mutually drawn into experiential escapades
Companion.....similar modes of expression: bear each other's company well
Complement...compatible strengths with opposite emphases
Supplement....like Pal, but functions are farther removed: each can add to the other's strengths
Tribesman......share a sense of culture, but with different interests and abilities
Anima............fits Dr. Beebe's description of the anima/anumus: each is the other's inferior (4th) function
Contrast.........point and counterpoint on each function
Counterpart....perform similar functions in totally different realms
Enigma..........a puzzle: totally foreign in nearly every facet
Identity..........same types: a typological mirror-image
Neighbor........arrive at the same place by variant processes
Novelty..........intriguingly different: interestingly so
Pal................work and play well together: minimal natural type conflict
Pedagogue.....each is both the other's mentor and student: has a "parent to child" feel
Suitemate......a person one might be comfortable sharing an office. Prefer similar climates, but don't necessarily have much in common as far as goals or world view

INTJ Profile

 

[INTJMom]

I have no experience in INTJ + ENTJ relationship. How was it like? Was she/he bossy?

For me personally, when I was young, I met an ENTJ male and to me, he felt like a steamroller.
♫ ♪ ♫ "I'm a steamroller baby. I'm gonna roll all over you." ♫ ♪ ♫
I felt very intimidated by him.

 

[chubber]

From the Socionics website:

Mirror relations between psychological ("personality") types

These are relations of mutual correction. Mirror partners have similar interests and ideas, but a slightly different understanding of the same problems. Each partner can see only half of one problem. Therefore the partners always find what the other partner is thinking interesting. Usually partners quickly realise that they are very like-minded.

The area of confidence of one partner is always the area of creativity for the other partner. What one partner considers solid and final appears incomplete and changeable for the other partner. This difference may often puzzle the partners especially when they fulfil their mutual plans. It seems for them as if the other partner simply misunderstood the main concept. Therefore partners attempt to correct each other's understanding but usually fail, because each partner acts from their confident side. For the same reason, Mirror partners can be involved in really hot disputes and can even come to blows in the name of their opinion.

However, Mirror partners are often very good friends. When they work together on the same project, their mutual correction and adjustment becomes a constructive criticism that is usually accepted as useful. The main discomfort in these relations is caused by the difference in Judgement and Perception between the partners. Mirror partners generally agree about setting near future goals, but disagree about global aims. Mirror relations usually lack warm atmosphere between partners. This situation normally changes in presence of a third person who is Dual to one partner and an Activity partner to the other.

 

[Sacrophagus]

She can't boss you around if you're confident enough, worthy of her praise, talk the talk and walk the walk.
I don't think they are narcissistic or arrogant either. They love and appreciate who they are, and don't take into consideration any precautions to hide it from anyone.
I love how they subconsciously test you to see if they can overpower you, or remain centered in your position. If you are grounded, you don't have to worry about it. It's part of the fun and merriment.
Overall, with any ENTJ woman, we always form an epic team. The power couple that gets any job done, and they know it.

 

[Virtual ghost]

1. Depends on enneagram

2. Depends on actual people

 

[Ashtart]

INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility

 

[INTJMom]

INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility

Wow!
Thank you for sharing this link - I don't think I've come across this site before!

I read with great interest since I would love to have another mate but I'm terrified of finding the wrong one.
I was married to an ISTP for 27 years. The page didn't discuss that combo.
Interestingly, it says that INFP is a good match for INTJ. My sister is INFP and we always have great conversations.
Thanks again. :hi:

 

[ceecee]

Yeah there is NO WAY I would ever date an ENTJ.

No. Way. They don't intimidate me, no matter their enneagram but I would be devising ways to kill them in their sleep and they would be looking for ways to kill me and make it look like an accident.

 

[Norexan]

ExTJ woman? A lot of neo-feminism and emotional tantrums , yet don't understand my emotions... please pass me... i am looking for rational woman not a spoiled brat... they are not worth my time.

 

[chubber]

INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility

I thought it was good until I read this:

Finally and most importantly, INTJ-INFP relationships are common because these types complement each other so well. Both INTJs and INFPs enjoy abstract discussions, including potential ways of improving the world. INFPs are great listeners and enjoy taking in new ideas and information via their Ne. This complements INTJs’ love of dispensing information a la Te. Moreover, both types use the Fi-Te function pair, which can significantly improve communication and reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings. INFPs are less apt to be scared off by INTJs’ Te, since INFPs also use Te in their communication. For these reasons and more, this pairing seems to have unlimited potential for growth, depth, and intimacy.

Now from How everyday stress brings out our hidden personality by Noami L. Quenk, Page 76 Who happens to be an INFP.

ESTJs and ENTJs report being quite uncomfortable with their own and others’ Feeling judgement, “It seems mushy and chaotic and scary, not crisp and precise like thinking,” said one ENTJ. An ESTJ described her uneasiness about expressing appreciation of complimenting others verbally: “I never know how much is appropriate. It always feels gushy.” She found writing thank-you notes to be much more satisfying both personally and to the recipients, who recognised the genuine depth of her feelings.

Because their opposites, Introverted Feeling types, are so hard to “read,” Extraverted Thinking types may judge Extraverted Feeling types, who readily express their dominant Feeling, more harshly than they do Introverted Feeling types. Introverted Feeling types are more muted in their expression of Feeling. ESTJs and ENTJs tend to see people who readily express Feeling as excessive, phony, and manipulative. When they are around an Introverted Feeling type, they may feel off-balance, needing to “walk on eggshells,” and afraid of being misunderstood or of unintentionally offending the person. But more often they may ignore Introverted Feeling types because they don’t express themselves directly. As we will see, the sensitivities of Extraverted Thinking types toward both of the dominant Feeling types (Extraverted Feeling types and Introverted Feeling types) are reflected in the expression of their own inferior Feeling.

Complete contrast from what Dr. A.J. Drenth is saying. Maybe he is the same expert from Married at First Sight.

The thing is, I do like INFPs a lot, but experience tells me, it doesn't work, INFPs are good listeners, because they are willing to understand, but that is where it stops.

As Jung said: One always has to answer in their main function, otherwise no contact is established. (1976b, p. 167) That would mean, F-dominant type needs another F-dominant type. Which the INTJ is nothing but.

[MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION], what do you think?

 

[Ashtart]

I thought it was good until I read this:





Now from How everyday stress brings out our hidden personality by Noami L. Quenk, Page 76 Who happens to be an INFP.



Complete contrast from what Dr. A.J. Drenth is saying. Maybe he is the same expert from Married at First Sight.

The thing is, I do like INFPs a lot, but experience tells me, it doesn't work, INFPs are good listeners, because they are willing to understand, but that is where it stops.

As Jung said: One always has to answer in their main function, otherwise no contact is established. (1976b, p. 167) That would mean, F-dominant type needs another F-dominant type. Which the INTJ is nothing but.

[MENTION=6561]OrangeAppled[/MENTION], what do you think?

I disagree on this. Of course I can only speak for myself but I'm in a very satisfying relationship with a F-dom user (INFP more precisely) and I don't think our dominant functions being distinct plays any crucial role on the relationship. What I think is how developed the functions are, maybe that can be a bigger factor. Yet, I'm reluctant when people think of dating based on MBTI types. People and relationships are much more complex than that after all.

What I think may be of much more importance in the relationship I have is the fact that we are both introverts and intuitives, that really makes a difference for me. Even though I'm a Ni user and my SO is a Ne.

 

[rav3n]

This combination wouldn't be wise if the INTJ is a cp6, wingcp6 or an enneagram one and the ENTJ, an enneagram 8. The covert controlling attempts of the INTJ would drive the ENTJ crazy and the overt controlling of the ENTJ would trigger the INTJ's ego defense. Or the INTJ would find the ENTJ 'stupid' because of values/rules violations, lol.

 

[chubber]

I disagree on this. Of course I can only speak for myself but I'm in a very satisfying relationship with a F-dom user (INFP more precisely) and I don't think our dominant functions being distinct plays any crucial role on the relationship. What I think is how developed the functions are, maybe that can be a bigger factor. Yet, I'm reluctant when people think of dating based on MBTI types. People and relationships are much more complex than that after all.

What I think may be of much more importance in the relationship I have is the fact that we are both introverts and intuitives, that really makes a difference for me. Even though I'm a Ni user and my SO is a Ne.

From your own article I'll quote

While INFJs are strong in extraverting their judgments, INTJs can be even more so because they lack the peacemaking, people-pleasing, and socially sensitive elements of Fe. This is why INTJs are often perceived as “brutally honest,” a trait that can be off-putting and misunderstood by types preferring a softer or more sensitive approach.

Refer to my previous post and "eggshells".

 

[Ashtart]

From your own article I'll quote



Refer to my previous post and "eggshells".

That is a generalization, I'm talking about an example, my personal experience in this case. I don't think I even fit the "INFJ stereotype". I hope you can understand the difference.

If you focus on this quote of mine, you get wronged in your own concept. Because that definition I've made would make INFJs and INTJs unsuitable for each other and both of them are Ni-dom. Which, in your opinion, is the major factor for a good match.

 

[Coriolis]

Not a romantic relationship, but one of my best friends is an ENTJ, and we get along amazingly well. We have the most far-flung and in-depth discussions. We can freely tear each other's positions to shreds without anyone taking offense, then play music together into the evening.

 

[chubber]

That is a generalization, I'm talking about an example, my personal experience in this case. I don't think I even fit the "INFJ stereotype". I hope you can understand the difference.

If you focus on this quote of mine, you get wronged in your own concept. Because that definition I've made would make INFJs and INTJs unsuitable for each other and both of them are Ni-dom. Which, in your opinion, is the major factor for a good match.

The attitudes will have to be different, that is the preference. Not the function, the function stays the same, but the preference of the attitude is what we choose and what feels natural.

So if one is Fi, then the suitable match would be Fe. In the long run the Fi <> Fe is going to work much better than Fi <> Ni, because when Te kicks in, it's going to trample all over Fi. Even your link confirms it. And this is the problem with the INTJ <> INFP match. They (INFPs) literally start shivering of fear, of what I will say next, because it hurts their feelings. There is even an example of me and an INFP on this forum, where I got slapped for "trolling", when I was just being me. If you understood the functions, you would start to understand what I'm trying to tell you here. But because you're an INFJ, you will find it difficult to understand and accept my point of view, because you're an INFJ. So I will leave it at that.

Yes MBTI, is a system and that is what INTJs are good at, where as the INFJ, would be very good people person, and don't need the MBTI to tell them how to deal with people. But this is not what this thread is about, this thread is about the MBTI system and your link happened contain INFP and INTJ information, which I find to be unrealistic. Because to get an INFP to stick with an INTJ is like strapping them in an electric chair to stay. Who is it really fair on? So if they claim they are INFP and INTJ, then I would seriously doubt the accuracy of the INFP or INTJ typing.

Yeah maybe if they INFPs stuck around, individuation would happen faster, but like Jung said, you need to access them through their main function, which is not the speciality of the INTJ.