I dont' know if I know any INTJ's, but I do have close INTP friends. They have some similarities but their biggest difference is their confidence levels which really defines how developed their functions are and how it's expressed.
These aren't 'sucky' things but more like personal observations that play into the 'evil cold' stereotype of INTPs. Which is funny because my INTP friends are so generous and well-mannered and are wonderful friends. They are both really silly once you befriend them. I actually gloat a little inside that I get the privelege of all the benes of their affection and friendship -- because it's tough to befriend them! They aren't that superficial in their friendships.
1)What I have noticed is that both can be 'mis'typed as being 'extremely quiet' or even cold by coworkers or those who dont' know them as well. One INTP friend fits the cold, kinda badass and intimidating stereotype on the surface. My other INTP friend does not come off as cold, the opposite, but has real trouble verbalizing her thoughts quickly with new people and groups. One of my INTP friends has NO PROBLEM cutting off people once they cross a line with her and can be really abrupt in general (on the phone, in conversation, etc.) For both, their honesty is sometimes too blunt. My other INTP friend sometimes offers random and frankly mean assessments of things that are not really solicited.
2) They are really hard to get to know initially. One friend I pursued mercilessly and the other friend kind of pursued me. Otherwise, without this constant push of effort, friendship would have never happened. Either they DO NOT TALK or else are just really hard for me to figure out and understand initially. Honestly, I have no idea what they see in me, but apparently I provide the warm fuzzies. Hahahahaa.
I'm in love with an INTJ and concur with this, especially the silliness and generosity once you get to know them well. I love the blunt honesty. The arrogance thing is kind of a private joke between us, maybe because I believe I'm at least his equal intellectually despite being a Feeler...and because I believe I see him more clearly than he seees me. I agree they're hard to get to know initially, but once you're in, you're in and they (or at least he) works really hard at the relationship and seems very committed. At least those are my observations to date.
It's a blessing...and a curse.
Originally Posted by Anja
I don't have room for shame in my life.
I agree they're hard to get to know initially, but once you're in, you're in and they (or at least he) works really hard at the relationship and seems very committed. At least those are my observations to date.
INTJs are very willing to work on relationships that have potential.
after all, an INTj will innately overtime just reconcile it and work comfortably outside that limitation, realizing quite obviously that it's a limitation of society, and not themselves.
Though for me, I don't find I have to fit in. I run my business. I make all the choices. I decide what is when and how it will be.
And I'm always right.
For the rest of society? I don't have to be right, however the beauty is that the need to fit in is so permeated within the general vortex of society, that it is not even an effort to just know what individuals will do, how they'll do it, and why they made those choices.
just because as an INTj spends so much time analyzing why this "anomaly" occurs. Until such time where the INTj realizes how the distinction of being one, is so much more advantageous to living outside the boundaries within "fitting in."
It's a neat little way of looking at things objectively and without attachment. I've also discovered that those whom I employ are now, more bound by their need for my approval with an effort in the "we don't want to let you down" genre.
For me, being an INTj means that the rules within which the normal society chooses to function, do not apply to me. Simply because I know why, and have a solution to ensure that I'm never bound by those same rules.