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Thread: INTJ Anger

  1. #41
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Real anger.

    Really odd mix of turning outward and turning inward. The turning outward part wants to take action and bring the anger-making thing to an end. The turning inward part is the one that warns me I don't have that level of control over the outside world. So I get cold and hard and focus everything I have on the thing making me angry... and speak. It's meant to be lethal but it isn't.

    It's upsetting and it's frightening or it's humiliating. The actual reaction I have to my own anger depends on an outward focus because the anger is usually about correcting something and it's rare that I'll feel righteous in that kind of attempt at domination. Indeed, the only times I truly feel righteous in anger is when I am cutting down a connection that is meant never to be reestablished. Given that condition, if the situation persists, I can resort to physical means.

    And as so often happens, it's been impotent anger and turns inward after the events to stew. Terribly violent fantasies result.

    It'd probably be better to get it out there and deal with it. Except the times I've been truly angry have tended to be when I'm in some ongoing process where I'm getting pwned.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Samurai Drifter's Avatar
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    I have an INTJ friend who seems to be a rather angry drunk. Some of his other friends were doing something to annoy him, so he chased them into a bathroom, kicked it a few times, and then shoved a sword through the door at them.

    I'm not sure how much worse he is drunk than sober, though I assume it's somewhat significant.
    Hands in the air, it's a robbery.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Funny that this topic should re-surface just now. I'm currently angry with a situation at work and plotting how I'm going to handle it.
    Embrace the possibilities.

  4. #44
    Te > Fi > Ni Shaula's Avatar
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    Have you ever been angered before? Why? What was it like?
    Yes many times. I grew up in an angry household. Rage is like a burning force that has been lit underneath you (adrenaline rush) and it gives you a feeling of destructive power. The more angry you feel the more 'powerful' you feel. But this kind of anger shorts out quickly and leaves you drained, sometimes very drained. Whereas milder anger feels more like embers crackling away and is easy to put out.

    How will INTJs show anger? How do you do it?
    I'm not sure about other INTJs but I exhibit the following:

    Level 1: A scowl and a grunt for mild irritation. Doesn't last long and I get over it quickly.

    Level 2: A sarcastic remark directed to cut someone down. I'll usually pull it off as a joke.

    Level 3: I'll confront a person I've been having difficulty with and I'll start accusing them (finger pointing) of things while explaining how I arrived to this conclusion. Afterwards I will purposely ignore them.

    Level 4: It's like Fi goes on this altruistic bindge. "Look at all the things I've done for you, you selfish idiot!" Yadda, yadda, yadda.... Then I'll try to cut ties with this person and whoever associates with them.

    Level 5: Lot's of yelling, slamming doors, pushing, shoving, and occasionally breaking things.

    Level 6: Physical fighting.

    Level 7: Se goes on a rampage. I'll start shouting things at the top of my lungs (I always get a sore thoat afterwards) and most of it I have no idea what I am talking about. It's like things are coming out of my mouth before I'm able to think it. People can't understand me because my argument has become grossly illogical and I'm probably more confused then they are. My judgement is scewed and I'll be more likely to do something dangerous. I don't think about the consequences of my actions.

    Level 8: A state of shock. Anger fizzles away like a dud. All emotions are dumped. I feel nothing. My expression becomes blank. I feel like I've just shut down. Later, perhaps hours later, clarity will resume, but for the meanwhile I'll occupy my time by playing simple games like Tetris or watching TV.)

    How long did it lasted? Did you regret it?
    Depends on the situation. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I regret and am embarrassed by my anger the most when it gets out of control. I don't believe it to be acceptable behaviour.


    *Disclaimer: I usually don't get past 'Level 2' in most circumstances.
    Is not to be held accuntable for peeling errors.

  5. #45
    Senior Member musttry's Avatar
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    My ex is an INTJ and so is my Dad. I take pleasure in angering my dad to see how he will react. It usually gets ugly. He usually clams up, his skin becomes gray and you know you need to get the hell out of there before something bad happens. My ex was continuously angry, or irritated, feels pretty much the same to an NF. I lived in fear of her moods. I think I was masochistic.

  6. #46
    Senior Member InfiniteIntrigue's Avatar
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    Have you ever been angered before? Why? What was it like?
    I have been angered. I don't get angry very often, most often I just get irritated.

    Level One: Irritation / whining to close friends
    Level Two: Death glares
    Level Three: Silence / Cut ties / Pretend they don't exist / Avoid at all costs.
    Level Four: I try and destroy them

    I usually don't get past two.

    How will INTJs show anger? How do you do it?
    True anger for me I will either scream at the person or ignore them.
    I tend to cry when I'm angry, which I hate! I usually pretend it's allergies


    How long did it lasted? Did you regret it?
    I don't regret it, it can be a cathartic release.
    As long as it's a private moment. In public, I'd die.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves,
    who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad
    memories and allow themselves to be provoked this
    easily -- weak people, in other words -- they stand no chance."
    -Severus Snape

  7. #47
    Senior Member InfiniteIntrigue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaula View Post
    Have you ever been angered before? Why? What was it like?
    Yes many times. I grew up in an angry household. Rage is like a burning force that has been lit underneath you (adrenaline rush) and it gives you a feeling of destructive power. The more angry you feel the more 'powerful' you feel. But this kind of anger shorts out quickly and leaves you drained, sometimes very drained. Whereas milder anger feels more like embers crackling away and is easy to put out.

    How will INTJs show anger? How do you do it?
    I'm not sure about other INTJs but I exhibit the following:

    Level 1: A scowl and a grunt for mild irritation. Doesn't last long and I get over it quickly.

    Level 2: A sarcastic remark directed to cut someone down. I'll usually pull it off as a joke.

    Level 3: I'll confront a person I've been having difficulty with and I'll start accusing them (finger pointing) of things while explaining how I arrived to this conclusion. Afterwards I will purposely ignore them.

    Level 4: It's like Fi goes on this altruistic bindge. "Look at all the things I've done for you, you selfish idiot!" Yadda, yadda, yadda.... Then I'll try to cut ties with this person and whoever associates with them.

    Level 5: Lot's of yelling, slamming doors, pushing, shoving, and occasionally breaking things.

    Level 6: Physical fighting.

    Level 7: Se goes on a rampage. I'll start shouting things at the top of my lungs (I always get a sore thoat afterwards) and most of it I have no idea what I am talking about. It's like things are coming out of my mouth before I'm able to think it. People can't understand me because my argument has become grossly illogical and I'm probably more confused then they are. My judgement is scewed and I'll be more likely to do something dangerous. I don't think about the consequences of my actions.

    Level 8: A state of shock. Anger fizzles away like a dud. All emotions are dumped. I feel nothing. My expression becomes blank. I feel like I've just shut down. Later, perhaps hours later, clarity will resume, but for the meanwhile I'll occupy my time by playing simple games like Tetris or watching TV.)

    How long did it lasted? Did you regret it?
    Depends on the situation. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I regret and am embarrassed by my anger the most when it gets out of control. I don't believe it to be acceptable behaviour.


    *Disclaimer: I usually don't get past 'Level 2' in most circumstances.
    I have levels too! haha
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves,
    who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad
    memories and allow themselves to be provoked this
    easily -- weak people, in other words -- they stand no chance."
    -Severus Snape

  8. #48
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    I've seen it...

    There's irritation, which is usually coupled with criticism wrapped in sarcastic humor and eye rolling.

    Then there's "I've been hurt/disappointed/exposed unexpectedly" anger, and that's where logic starts unraveling. It resembles a blindfolded kid at a birthday party with a wiffle bat whacked madly at the air in search of a pinata. There are lots of ugly accusations hurled (often unfair), lots of dramatic exaggeration and fatalistic announcements, the impulse to break things, irrational and contradicting statements, and the tenancy to spook or overreact at sudden movement toward them...basically, they just come unglued.

    It makes me want to hug them, but that's generally a bad idea until the storm blows over and they feel a little in control again. Changing the subject intermittently while they rave to something concrete and easy for them to explain can provide a little relief, it seems.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  9. #49
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    I. Do. Not. Under. Stand.

    Anger requires action. Any feeling requires action. More exactly, requires decision.

    Must. Not. Sit. With. Feeling.

    Must not. That is the surest way to render it meaningless.


    I shall now draw an awkward distinction between sitting with feeling qua stewing and sitting with feeling qua options for decision existing. One can sit with feeling if there is some reason to believe the resultant decisions will be effected.

    ALL OTHER CHOICES ARE HYSTERICAL! And constitute the beginning of the spiral down into the ground.



    This, btw, is what it means to have extraverted thinking set at a higher priority than introverted feeling. Feeling, when it exists, engages the thinking, pushing it along to allow expression. Feeling thus says thinking *should* act now.

    Any and all attempts to call this cute or adorable will probably work well, and generated a bitter black sludge in the feeling hole that sits there saying, but we didn't succeed, we're a failure, nothing happened, nothing changed, all this turmoil for naught and WHO CAUSED IT!? We fears and loathes then, precious, we loves them, precious. yes, Preciousss::
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  10. #50
    Member songofcalamity's Avatar
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    For non-INTJs:
    Have you ever encountered an angry INTJ before? What was it like?

    Yes, an angry INTJ is probably one of the scariest thing I have ever seen. Using Shaula's experiences as basis, I saw a Level 6 INTJ, Level 4 and 5 is omitted from the process though.

    I think the scariest part was not the fighting, but the fact that everyone thinks he was just goofing around and that he was not angry. But I sat next to him after the incident and ... well, he was emanating a frightening sort of anger. The worst part was that the tears were about to fall any moment, but he was desperately trying to hold them back. Okay, he has this habit of tearing when he is frustrated/misunderstood. I just sat there and did nothing, don't ask me why, it was that traumatizing ... err... maybe I am being a little melodramatic, but yes, I fear angry INTJs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaula View Post
    I'm not sure about other INTJs but I exhibit the following:

    Level 1: A scowl and a grunt for mild irritation. Doesn't last long and I get over it quickly.

    Level 2: A sarcastic remark directed to cut someone down. I'll usually pull it off as a joke.

    Level 3: I'll confront a person I've been having difficulty with and I'll start accusing them (finger pointing) of things while explaining how I arrived to this conclusion. Afterwards I will purposely ignore them.

    Level 4: It's like Fi goes on this altruistic bindge. "Look at all the things I've done for you, you selfish idiot!" Yadda, yadda, yadda.... Then I'll try to cut ties with this person and whoever associates with them.

    Level 5: Lot's of yelling, slamming doors, pushing, shoving, and occasionally breaking things.

    Level 6: Physical fighting.

    Level 7: Se goes on a rampage. I'll start shouting things at the top of my lungs (I always get a sore thoat afterwards) and most of it I have no idea what I am talking about. It's like things are coming out of my mouth before I'm able to think it. People can't understand me because my argument has become grossly illogical and I'm probably more confused then they are. My judgement is scewed and I'll be more likely to do something dangerous. I don't think about the consequences of my actions.

    Level 8: A state of shock. Anger fizzles away like a dud. All emotions are dumped. I feel nothing. My expression becomes blank. I feel like I've just shut down. Later, perhaps hours later, clarity will resume, but for the meanwhile I'll occupy my time by playing simple games like Tetris or watching TV.)

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