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  1. #41
    Member s0532's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nocturne View Post
    Perhaps something peculiar to NTs, or just me, is that friendship is not devalued in time or place. I do not expect someone to apologise for not staying in contact with me, nor do I expect to apologise to them. If someone stops contacting me then I simply assume they have something else to occupy their time. Friendship does not devalue with time. In other words, even when I really value a friend, I may still not bother contacting them for a long time, the friendship stands irrespective of the frequency of contact.
    aww, I'm sorry I'm online much less than I used to be, IM/skype barely ever. I still like you. We should catch up somewhere sometime.

  2. #42
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My own (limited) experience with NTs is they do not compromise a lot, which sounds worse than it is. They are very autonomous and they expect autonomy from others, so there is very little need for compromise unless you are asking them to put themselves out, which isn't something you want to do very much. You have the whole, wide, wide world for wiggle room. All they ask for is their tiny, impenetrable core. That core pretty much is not going to budge, but you may do what you like outside of it.

    And I didn't explain that very well.
    You did explain it well. You're right. Beautifully done. Thanks.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

  3. #43
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I guess it could be something like that, I think that's part of it.

    I have also had exchanges where I put a few "leading" sentences in my comments, that either are actual questions to be answered or purposeful ambiguities that a P will normally pick up on and play out... but the J doesn't "bite at" them? So I get back a response that really focuses on providing an answer to one part of my comments, and ignores everything else.
    I am guilty of this. When I do it, it's because something specific in what you've said speaks to me. So I run with it. And ignore the rest, because it's either not relevant or I think it's obvious.

  4. #44
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    I am guilty of this. When I do it, it's because something specific in what you've said speaks to me. So I run with it. And ignore the rest, because it's either not relevant or I think it's obvious.
    See? SEE?! Nothing to build on!

    Conversation killer! :steam:
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #45
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Or sometimes it's simply that I am expecting something a little less clinical sounding or cut-and-dried, but the response is so cut-and-dried that it feels like I am being shut out and thus the friendship might even be in question...

    With those, having talked to the INxJ's about it, I just tell myself to trust what they told me -- "Yes, we're friends, I think you're great!" -- and not gauge what is going on by the manner in which they have replied.
    I can see how that would happen. The cut-and-dried response to something is only cut-and-dried as it relates to that subject. Not to the messenger, though.

    I have had to reassure people that "Yes, we're still freinds!" and "No, I'm not mad at you!!" too many times. I try to use smileys now - I've found it helps avoid those conversations.

  6. #46
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    See? SEE?! Nothing to build on!

    Conversation killer! :steam:

    Yep. I have referred to myself as a Thread Killer before. (Does that below, help?)


    INJ as thread killer: Discuss.

  7. #47
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    I can see how that would happen. The cut-and-dried response to something is only cut-and-dried as it relates to that subject. Not to the messenger, though.

    I have had to reassure people that "Yes, we're still freinds!" and "No, I'm not mad at you!!" too many times. I try to use smileys now - I've found it helps avoid those conversations.
    Definitely -- the "smiley" is one of those potential cues that I was referring to, to clarify the poster's feelings. In some ways, they're silly... but I use them usually for humor sake or else to add context so people understand my intentions. They definitely help.

    Well, at least I know I'm not crazy now. (Well, at least not in this regard!)

    Yep. I have referred to myself as a Thread Killer before. (Does that below, help?) INJ as thread killer: Discuss.
    DOH! Was the fact that there was no actual link here part of the joke ("thread killer!")? I'm trying to laugh, hoping it was dry humor at its best... but maybe you just forgot the link...?

    ... i hope the rest of my week is more coherent than i am right now... sigh...
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #48
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    There was no link. Underlined for emphasis.

    I just did it again, right?






  9. #49
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Yep. I have referred to myself as a Thread Killer before. (Does that below, help?)


    INJ as thread killer: Discuss.
    PFFT.

    My custom user title for months at INTPC was "Threadkiller Thaumaturgus."

    I should resurrect that.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

  10. #50
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    There was no link. Underlined for emphasis.
    I just did it again, right?


    Brat.

    (You should have been trying to pretend there was a link, with no link attached -- THAT would have been hilarious, a definite dead-end thread! Well... maybe I can just pretend.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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