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[MBTI General] INT*P*/ENFP attraction

spirilis

Senior Membrane
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Jul 5, 2007
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sp/sx
The INTJ/ENFP attraction thread was cool. Now I'm curious... what's up with INTP/ENFP attraction? It's a completely open-ended question, but I'm especially curious about the initial attraction (before the "love" part... if there ever is one).

I could see it happening with an INTP and ENFP at the right stages of their life... but traditionally my relations with ENFP females has been more of a brotherly/sisterly one, albeit one with distinct depth (my ex-roommate [female ENFP married to an ENTP] and I swear to god we share dreams sometimes... it's weird)
 

Eric B

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[from other thread]
I just find that ENP women tend to strike me as somewhat airheadish and incredibly intelligent at the same time.
That gives them a certain attractiveness. Lorelai on the Gilmore girls is supposed to be ENFP. Nice, cheery, yet smart women. Fellow open ended P's, in a family/friends circle where almost everyone, especially females, seem to be serious J's.

Though in the case of the ENFP's, I get the sense that they ultimately wouldn't be "marriage material" for me, and now looking at it in terms of cognitive dynamics, it's probably the Fi.
One friend who I determined was probably ENFP has me afraid for her, because she does stuff like having all her neighbors mad at her because she won't move her car into the driveway (It's in front of the house, yet for some reason, nobody wants any cars parked on the street). They put sand in the tank and stuff, and now she's suing. I know she has the right to have the car there, yet I myself wouldn't want to stir up that much trouble with those I have to live around. And then she says she would see a man groping a woman in another car, and yell at him and threaten to call the police. I would be terrified to be with someone like that, and have someone one day turn around and attack us. (I was going to start a thread describing this person to ask if others thought she sounded like an ENFP).

Another, closer friend who's also probably ENFP is always upset about certain news and political events such as Katrina. She's trying to get me to go see that movie about Katrina this weekend or next. There have been political issues that have really annoyed me, and what I did was address them on my own web space. I kind of don't have much faith in the ability to rally and get much change. People are just too locked into their own ways. I like to create awareness, and then hope others will take that and rally the cause, or that the awareness will spread.

When females get all activistic like that, it's not as attractive to me, they get a whole lot of people mad at them, and the partner has to live with it, and then I fear that heated side of Fi will get turned on the partner in arguments. With an SFJ, I may clash with the J aspect, but at least we both perceive and judge things in similar ways, though reversed.
 

colmena

señor member
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Apr 27, 2008
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^I'm drawn to that kind of passion, personally. And I could do with a push to follow through on my own. A crime fighting duo.
 

Simplexity

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lol I just sit back and watch when stuff like that happens. I know that I could never gather nearly enough energy to react like that and I do appreciate it cause its so opposite from me. I agree with colmena it forces me to be more active and by default more caring(forces me to think critically in a positive way).
 

SillyGoose

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Eric, that just made me laugh....and I'm sorry, but if you are intune with what the ENFP's values are then you don't have to worry about it being turned on you.

I think this is one of those things that I've been consciously aware of having to find in a mate...someone who values the same things I do.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
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I tend to clash with many, if not most, INTP males. A few have an aura of kindness and warmth about 'em and those are the ones I happen to like/adore.

However, I do tend to really love female INTPs, (my best friend being one) they're more intelligentle than their male counterparts.

In general, I have difficulty in communicating with Ti doms, and that might be a contributing factor as to why I couldn't see myself in a romantic relationship with one (an INTP).

If the INTP was socially well adjusted and kind-spirited, I could see a relationship potentially work.

Lol, and on a psychological note, my father was a hardcore, socially maladjusted INTP, my disdain for him probably contributes to my general distaste for the (male) type.
 

Lateralus

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May 18, 2007
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you see the main quality of entp is, to point out things that do not go according to how they should go
How they should go? That sounds like a value judgment. Are you giving an example of an ENTP vomiting Fe on a thread?
 

Fuent

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Yeah those yellow balloons won't mesh well in the aquarium.
 

mlittrell

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Put it to you this way...the house would be a freaking mess lol. NTs and NFs natural compliment each other BUT I would say its a bad idea.
 

Eric B

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I tend to clash with many, if not most, INTP males. A few have an aura of kindness and warmth about 'em and those are the ones I happen to like/adore.

However, I do tend to really love female INTPs, (my best friend being one) they're more intelligentle than their male counterparts.

In general, I have difficulty in communicating with Ti doms, and that might be a contributing factor as to why I couldn't see myself in a romantic relationship with one (an INTP).

If the INTP was socially well adjusted and kind-spirited, I could see a relationship potentially work.

Lol, and on a psychological note, my father was a hardcore, socially maladjusted INTP, my disdain for him probably contributes to my general distaste for the (male) type.
Must have skimmed over this at first, but it's interesting.

How exactly does the Ti affect you? Do you see them as too "details" oriented or something?
This is especially of interest since some people have thought I was ENFP (because of my "enthusiasm" at times), but I don't see any such negative association with Ti. (Instead, Fi seems to have a more negative role, though it is somewhat strong, as the CP test reflected).
 

Salomé

meh
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The INTJ/ENFP attraction thread was cool. Now I'm curious... what's up with INTP/ENFP attraction? It's a completely open-ended question, but I'm especially curious about the initial attraction (before the "love" part... if there ever is one).

This is interesting because I have a real weakness for ENFPs.

What Gen said resonates - I click with ENFPs like no other type. It's like the rest of the world just disappears when you're with them. I think they make most people/types feel this way though.
Just wish they weren't so damned unreliable and inconstant. Also, don't expect an INTP/ENFP couple to get anything done - it's a procrastination party.

I've sometimes wondered if the strength of the attraction is just my shadow looking for completeness/balance through symbiosis, rather than something that could lead to real mutual growth.

My sister is an ENFP and she falls for ENTPs in a big way, but it isn't healthy, she regresses into an introverted/insecure version of herself when she's with one.
 
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