[INTP] Can't tell if I'm an INFP or INTP.

[tearsforfears]

These are the main things that leave me confused.. When I was little(started at around 7 or 8) I got bullied by my older brother about my weight everyday. I'd do it back to defend myself but it messed with me and my self-esteem. I became paranoid that people were thinking i'm fat. I mean I was but I didn't think I looked that bad in the mirror but in pictures I looked bigger than i thought and it bothered me that i looked like a different person.. also pressure from my mom telling me I needed to lose weight all the time. It seems like most INTPs could give less of a fuck about their weight and such but couldn't being bullied emotionally by a family member at such a young age have a negative impact on your development? I didn't care about how I dressed really until high school. At home though I'm a slob. I don't care about how I look, I know it's gross but I'll go days and even weeks without showering until I actually have to go out. I also have untreated adhd and have struggled through school and couldn't be bothered I feel like I didn't learn shit because I couldn't focus I was so absent minded and lost in thought getting me to pay attention was impossible. A friend let me try their meds a few times and I felt like for the first time in my life I was smart.

Going back to the self image issues, I was determined to lose weight I researched for hours everyday diet pills that work and was very indecisive and constantly getting sidetracked and neglecting my schoolwork I just wanted to not worry about my weight anymore. I know a TON about nutrition now I've studied and read a lot about it. I think if i'm an INTP ,which I seem to get more of on these tests than INFP, then I applied my 'wanting to know the truth' mindset to that. my weight has caused me emotional distress due to how I was fucked with mentally for years but now since I've lost it I don't care as much. I don't talk to my brother anymore (haven't talked to him in years since I was 13 now i'm 18) though he lives in the same house I get anxious around him.

So to summarize, could being bullied like that as a young child and having untreated adhd distort ones mind and leave them confused about who they truly are?

 

[Punderstorm]

To answer your question, yes. I think you should fill out a qeustionaire in order to be accurately typed. What you wrote doesn't exactly give clear preferences and your mental states seriously affect the accuracy of the typing.

P.S, I love Tears for Fears!

 

[laterlazer]

Yeah, it definitely affects how you see yourself in some ways but you sound like you're well aware of that which is great and better than a bunch of people. I personally relate to a lot of what you said and don't see why you can't be an INTP, like Punderstorm said, try filling out a questionnaire since there are hella people on here good at typing people based on that.

Also I've struggled with the weight thing, with it coming from my mum, my weight didn't really bother me too much personally but whenever my mum's involved she highlights it and it made me very aware of it. Anyway recently I'm more worrying about it for myself rather than for her. I've had times when I overly researched about weight loss. INTPs don't 'not give a fuck about this/that', they don't give a fuck about this/that at a certain time because it doesn't interest them and hasn't caught their attention for some reason. Some might give a major fuck about their weight at some point, some won't. Your personality type does not dictate your interests by any means, there are only some correlations.

 

[tearsforfears]

To answer your question, yes. I think you should fill out a qeustionaire in order to be accurately typed. What you wrote doesn't exactly give clear preferences and your mental states seriously affect the accuracy of the typing.

P.S, I love Tears for Fears!

I know I guess I'm lazy. there's a lot i'd like to talk about but it'd take me forever to get every detail in that I wanted I mostly just wanted perspective on the parts that left me stumped when I analyzed myself.

And hell yes me too!!!

 

[tearsforfears]

Yeah, it definitely affects how ou see ourself in some ways but you sound like you're well aware of that which is great and better than a bunch of people. I personally relate to a lot of what you said and don't see why you can't be an INTP, like Punderstorm said, try filling out a questionnaire since there are hella people on here good at typing people based on that.

Also I've struggled with the weight thing, with it coming from my mum, my weight didn't really bother me too much personally but whenever my mum's involved she highlights it and it made me very aware of it. Anyway recently I'm more worrying about it for myself rather than for her. I've had times when I overly researched about weight loss. INTPs don't 'not give a fuck about this/that', they don't give a fuck about this/that at a certain time because it doesn't interest them and hasn't caught their attention for some reason. Some might give a major fuck about their weight at some point, some won't. Your personality type does not dictate your interests by any means, there are only some correlations.

I've searched so much trying to find any INTPs who relate and I can't. It's usually threads about people saying "i don't care about what i wear or look" and it being rare for a female to be an INTP makes this even more difficult. I definitely fit the stereotyped trait "I don't care about how I look" in my own home but when I know I'm going out I try to look 'good'(well what I think looks good) I mostly shop at thrift stores and enjoy finding something's that 'one of a kind' or just appeals to me.

I just think that if I am a thinker I've had too many roadblocks preventing me from bringing out the best in myself. I get emotional when people misinterpret my intentions or when a family member can't understand me or see from my perspective. I've taken so many tests and a lot of the questions I'm indecisive on a lot of them because I can't help it.

 

[laterlazer]

I've searched so much trying to find any INTPs who relate and I can't. It's usually threads about people saying "i don't care about what i wear or look" and it being rare for a female to be an INTP makes this even more difficult. I definitely fit the stereotyped trait "I don't care about how I look" in my own home but when I know I'm going out I try to look 'good'(well what I think looks good) I mostly shop at thrift stores and enjoy finding something's that 'one of a kind' or just appeals to me.

I just think that if I am a thinker I've had too many roadblocks preventing me from bringing out the best in myself. I get emotional when people misinterpret my intentions or when a family member can't understand me or see from my perspective. I've taken so many tests and a lot of the questions I'm indecisive on a lot of them because I can't help it.

I've searched so much trying to find any INTPs who relate and I can't. It's usually threads about people saying "i don't care about what i wear or look" and it being rare for a female to be an INTP makes this even more difficult. I definitely fit the stereotyped trait "I don't care about how I look" in my own home but when I know I'm going out I try to look 'good'(well what I think looks good) I mostly shop at thrift stores and enjoy finding something's that 'one of a kind' or just appeals to me.

I just think that if I am a thinker I've had too many roadblocks preventing me from bringing out the best in myself. I get emotional when people misinterpret my intentions or when a family member can't understand me or see from my perspective. I've taken so many tests and a lot of the questions I'm indecisive on a lot of them because I can't help it.

I think as an INTP we have this thing where some of us feel like we never really live up to our potential because we can always see how things could be improved, how we could've done better and it's more obvious to us when there is a lot of wasted potential. Tbh can't say I've gotten emotional over those things but I've certainly been taken aback & frustrated by them. The indecisiveness also plays into things as we're described to always seek the ultimate truth, esp in ourselves, in this quest to be honest about ourselves we can have issues trying to figure out what is honestly us and what is just something we are projecting or have been conditioned to act like. Then again, so many people face this struggle too, I think knowing the reason why you're indecisive is the key to understanding yourself and personality in those situations.

Anyway I don't think there's a single person who doesn't care what they look like completely and entirely, especially given a range of situations. There are some times I don't mind looking pretty sub-par in public but most of the time I put in a little effort (to at least not wear the same thing I wore recently and have an outfit that looks decent). I mean, God knows how many times I just didn't go out in public cos I wasn't in the mood to start thinking of clothes to wear. I do have my distinct style I like as well, but being broke most of the time, I'm rarely able to reflect it. Anyway like you said girls do have it a bit different from guys, you like me were probably drilled when younger to care about your appearance, where guys certainly don't get that as much. I think I still care less than a good amount of girls about how I look, but to say I don't care at all would be an outright lie.

Anyway, lots of us have things we struggle with, and within a personality type people are going to easily differ greatly, so don't get too caught up in an idea of what someone of one type should be like, get a better feel of yourself first and then use people's input as something potentially disposable that may provide a little more insight into something you already know about yourself, rather than using it as a game-changer. Hope you figure out what type you are though. But straight up almost everyone on here keeps being indecisive about who they are so you're really not alone.

 

[tearsforfears]

I think as an INTP we have this thing where some of us feel like we never really live up to our potential because we can always see how things could be improved, how we could've done better and it's more obvious to us when there is a lot of wasted potential. Tbh can't say I've gotten emotional over those things but I've certainly been taken aback & frustrated by them. The indecisiveness also plays into things as we're described to always seek the ultimate truth, esp in ourselves, in this quest to be honest about ourselves we can have issues trying to figure out what is honestly us and what is just something we are projecting or have been conditioned to act like. Then again, so many people face this struggle too, I think knowing the reason why you're indecisive is the key to understanding yourself and personality in those situations.

Anyway I don't think there's a single person who doesn't care what they look like completely and entirely, especially given a range of situations. There are some times I don't mind looking pretty sub-par in public but most of the time I put in a little effort (to at least not wear the same thing I wore recently and have an outfit that looks decent). I mean, God knows how many times I just didn't go out in public cos I wasn't in the mood to start thinking of clothes to wear. I do have my distinct style I like as well, but being broke most of the time, I'm rarely able to reflect it. Anyway like you said girls do have it a bit different from guys, you like me were probably drilled when younger to care about your appearance, where guys certainly don't get that as much. I think I still care less than a good amount of girls about how I look, but to say I don't care at all would be an outright lie.

Anyway, lots of us have things we struggle with, and within a personality type people are going to easily differ greatly, so don't get too caught up in an idea of what someone of one type should be like, get a better feel of yourself first and then use people's input as something potentially disposable that may provide a little more insight into something you already know about yourself, rather than using it as a game-changer. Hope you figure out what type you are though. But straight up almost everyone on here keeps being indecisive about who they are so you're really not alone.

I for sure grew up in a more traditional household. My mom is for sure an ESTJ and is very religious. I broke out out that mold and developed my own independent thoughts. So living with a person like that is why I get pushed to the ultimate breaking point eventually coming off as "childish" when I get 'emotional'. She's stubborn and her values are very close to her and if I question things like that it = living hell for me. I also get frustrated when I know something needs a fix (physical health issues and my adhd) and she doesn't take it seriously aka "it's all in my head". This does not happen all the time because I prefer to just stay in my room but especially lately I've just learned to be very careful about how I express myself and issues with her and Have tried to spend more quality time which has definitely made me closer to her allowing me to express myself to her better and she is a bit more understanding but she can get repetitive and I'll get impatient at times but ultimately it's good when I don't question her beliefs and do my chores (which can be hard for me) lol.

"Anyway like you said girls do have it a bit different from guys, you like me were probably drilled when younger to care about your appearance, where guys certainly don't get that as much." I think this is my problem for sure.

and I know the personality thing doesn't completely define me, but I guess I just want closure lol

 

[laterlazer]

I for sure grew up in a more traditional household. My mom is for sure an ESTJ and is very religious. I broke out out that mold and developed my own independent thoughts. So living with a person like that is why I get pushed to the ultimate breaking point eventually coming off as "childish" when I get 'emotional'. She's stubborn and her values are very close to her and if I question things like that it = living hell for me. I also get frustrated when I know something needs a fix (physical health issues and my adhd) and she doesn't take it seriously aka "it's all in my head". This does not happen all the time because I prefer to just stay in my room but especially lately I've just learned to be very careful about how I express myself and issues with her and Have tried to spend more quality time which has definitely made me closer to her allowing me to express myself to her better and she is a bit more understanding but she can get repetitive and I'll get impatient at times but ultimately it's good when I don't question her beliefs and do my chores (which can be hard for me) lol.

"Anyway like you said girls do have it a bit different from guys, you like me were probably drilled when younger to care about your appearance, where guys certainly don't get that as much." I think this is my problem for sure.

and I know the personality thing doesn't completely define me, but I guess I just want closure lol

Lol same thing here, my mum is an ESFJ so I've experienced the same things, she's also pretty stubborn with her values and beliefs and super religious. I haven't been able to talk to her about a lot of things for this reason. Bringing up my deteriorating mental health to her would easily resort in her calling it demons (which tbh I agree to some point lol), but she wouldn't take it as something serious that needs professional help and see it as a war on my mind and would tell me I just need to change how I think and pray, which I don't entirely disagree with and are things I've been trying to do, but would make me feel as if someone's saying that it's easy to get rid of something like that and that I'm just not willing enough which isn't the case. Unlike you I just kind of avoid talking to my parents about my problems or anything altogether, my dad is an ISTJ too but he's not as bad as her, he's more understanding albeit less approachable than her, but I just don't feel comfortable talking to either of them about anything, I haven't really been brought up to feel like I can. Like you said, any time my values or own beliefs didn't line up with theirs I was scolded for it, so I just learnt to keep my thoughts to myself, so I find it funny when my mum is always wondering what I'm thinking and trying to get my thoughts, it's a bit too late to be interested in what I'm thinking. Also I'm pretty sure my mum's bipolar and she's made it really hard for all of us (a.k.a me and my siblings) to live in many ways. I appreciate the effort that they put in trying to get me to grow up healthily and 'normally' but the methods have been really undesirable and I would be lying if I said I appreciated them.

Anywayyys I could talk for days about how the way my parents raised me affected how I see myself and who I am today, but everyone's got that I hope you find your closure soon haha. And if you can't, there's a rumour that Enneagram 9s have trouble figuring out their types so there's a nice stereotype for you!

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Which do you value more? Truth and precision/accuracy? Authenticity and morality?

 

[Zeego]

One thing to keep in mind is that most online descriptions of INTPs stereotype them to an absurd degree. Despite what Tumblr thinks, INTPs do have actual feelings.

 

[IndigoViolet11]

Religious people. It is because of their worries about you beung saved that hurts the most especially if its people who are close to us. I hate them with great passion, and I need no saving. But they just could never understand nor they want to listen to you and take another prespective yet they shine a bright aura, that I just hate because they have it, only if they are less stubborn in their ideals... I think to myself, cant they be better than that..

You seem more intp than infp in a way you rationalize your emotions into logic rather than state them just as plain feelings. Despite not being throughly developed, which the lack of knowledge becomes a nightmare very quickly, your way of your thinking, even itis about feeling, you tend to cover them with a more rational approach but to a point that is repressed, that when they come up, they seem not as knowledgeable, and quite new to the observer.

 

[Kasia93]

INTPs can be sensitive to criticism just like anyone. Many are 5w4s on the Enneagram and depending on how strong your connection to 4 is you want to be see as unique, so you could care about appearances in one form or another. Also 5w6s may want to fit in, if they are a social subtype or at least don't have social last in their stacking. For many INTPs it may just manifest more in how they are seen intellectually instead of their physical appearance. Circumstances in which you are raised and parental expectations can certainly change how any type acts. It's a natural defense mechanism to adapt to being singled out for abuse. INFPs are often 4s on the Enneagram, so that doesn't rule that type out. As was previously said a questionnaire would help in that regard. In summary, nothing you have said rules out INTP at all. It's very much a possibility.

 

[Galaxy Gazer]

I'm an INTP and I place a lot of value in how others view me. How I look is a big part of that. Even "I don't care" is an image.

 

[Punderstorm]

Well first off, how do you react when stressed? What do you despise doing and what do you value?

 

[Annaifiwas]

One thing to keep in mind is that most online descriptions of INTPs stereotype them to an absurd degree. Despite what Tumblr thinks, INTPs do have actual feelings.

Couldn't agree with you more. The overall description makes ENTJs look like absolute bastards and/or low key dictators.
And a tip for you, tearsforfears, read up on socionics. That helped me decide for ENTJ, because it's possible to have an auxiliary function that is almost just as strong as your dominant, and that has a lot to say for you. Socionics subtypes, that's where shit gets more real

 

[jfh06dd]

the way I understand it, NT is more characterized by Anxiety whereas NFs are more depressed. This is a huge generalization of course. But you are definitely an N if you truly dont give a shit about your appearance and go days without showering.

However, really this goes beyond the realm of typology and I think you just have a lot of issues and depression you need to work out with a therapist and generally need to practice more healthy habits and have self confidence.

 

[Taratango]

We INTPs, still have feelings. We are human, not robots.
Now, given that I'm actually one of those "I don't give a crap on how I look" types... I can still see how it might be upsetting if someone that is really close to you has been bullying you from a very young age. When it's someone close to us, their words have more of an impact on us as they have more influence over the way we think.
I would react much more to my partner criticising me all of a sudden, than some friend I don't know as well. And the fact that your brother did it when you were young and didn't know any better, it could've instilled some insecurity deep inside you when your brain was still developing.

So yes, you can still be INTP even if you feel things.
Alternatively, you could be border line INTP, INFP... remember, we don't need to fit perfectly into one box. MBTI isn't the be all and end all of a person, sometimes (though rarely) I feel more like an INTJ rather than INTP. I wouldn't stress out too much about it