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  1. #1
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    Default I [INTJ] made a bold move on another [INTJ] - Have I messed it up?

    Edit: she' INTP

    So - I found some that I had a lot of similar interests with - they have web thing - so it's very one with comments and while she put her self out there, they have intently made there corner of the web not nearly popular as it could be and she doesn't post often - now I'm not 100% she's INTJ but I've been following for awhile so probably close.
    So I been thinking about how best to approach her for awhile - as I'm learning a very INTJ trait - and I realized the only real was for me was message her via twitter, there was hint they were bit sad, bit down, nothing major, so the next day I send a msg that went like this, and I added a cheeky poll - this was meant to sure confidence, bold, and rather bluntly my intent - now this was big for me to do - I've only really put my self out there 2 times in... 7 years? so pretty big thing but I knew I had to make a move.

    Seams you were bit down how about we play a game together
    - yeah, sure
    - yeah cheer me up
    - yeah, only because your hot

    So that's pretty much how it was, I got no reply 24hr - I followed up with a more or less "ok you don't know me" - and then post a life story of similar interest and followed by some music that is something I think she'd like but not heard - the last message was more or less "sorry for spamming 10 msgs, if I'm making you uncomfortable I'll go away"

    no reply - all hope is lost right? maybe not? So she posts ask if anyone can guess her MBTI - I google, I do a test and get INTJ - it also fits her - I google some more I come here and found this thread INTJ + INTJ relationships. and reading throw that just - some many things about myself made clear, and about how I probably went to fast.

    So did I fail? Did she flirt? or did I read into that way to much...

    Don't worry it gets worse - but first I before I read that thread I replied with 'I'm INTJ - so probably the same' to her question - so do a few others - there all over the place but quite a few INTJ, and some 'I & T for sure'

    So... after that I end up in a chat room and she's there - she doesn't know I am - then I post a comment on current whatever topic, exposing myself - I don't refer to her at all - she doesn't to me - I don't know wtf to do - nothing happens - she fades off at some time and then so do I -

    Possible she didn't read anything I sent - but I think it's highly unlikely.

    I really get the feeling that we are very similar in quite a few ways - they might even end here - if so we both have the same first initial - and if you read this - I'm mad about you, you won't disappoint me.


    'you won't disappoint me' - I say that because that's a big INTJ thing - feelings not shared, not measuring up? - I know enough that I'd marry her without second thought >_> maybe I'm not INTJ, maybe just really stupid >_>



    Also I hate typing I'm not good at but like putting myself out there - even if I did fuck it up - already learnt a lot reading on here, how to manage myself better. ty all.


    Edit; editing my typos and spelling and so it makes sense >_<

  2. #2
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    I assume my wall of text was rather off putting - or no one wants to tell me I failed - well she posted that she's INTP - so idk.

  3. #3
    Member Libra_Rising's Avatar
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    I don't really understand what you've posted? Is this a real person or an online persona that you've briefly interacted with? I'm an E, so a lot of virtual reality stuff is not real to me.
    Likes Nørrsken liked this post

  4. #4
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rrukel View Post
    I assume my wall of text was rather off putting - or no one wants to tell me I failed - well she posted that she's INTP - so idk.
    No. It doesn't really make any sense. Are you asking if you should continue spamming a person who isn't replying? Are you asking what her type really is? Does it really matter? Oh and this...

    Seams you were bit down how about we play a game together
    - yeah, sure
    - yeah cheer me up
    - yeah, only because your hot
    If she is ignoring you, ^^ that may be one of the reasons why.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  5. #5
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    I don't really understand what you've posted?
    Sorry I really struggle with the written word

    Is this a real person or an online persona that you've briefly interacted with?
    Never met them IR, not a fantasy made up thing, it's them being them, well as much as one can online for 3~ months.


    No. It doesn't really make any sense. Are you asking if you should continue spamming a person who isn't replying?
    I'm not going to spam them again - or really send any messages like that but I still comment on subjects as the other followers do.
    What I'm asking is - given her type - I think I've answered it for myself really - if she is interested she'd struggle to reply directly - because I came on too strong, I gave her the option to tell me to go away and I would, she didn't but maybe she knows better then to reply to crazy :/

    Are you asking what her type really is? Does it really matter? Oh and this...
    I feel really attracted to her and I'm sure it's part her type that attracts me so much, hey type isn't the issue, it was 24 hours after I did my horrible spam that she said she took the MBTI test - I feel that maybe my messages influenced her to go in the direction of MBTI;
    "This person is a crazy(me) I wonder why?" ends up reading up about personalty traits maybe talks to friend, friend says that's typical INTJ, she asks wtf? and dose some research - she's very much likely do that.

    Positively or negatively - basically I was asking is: that something INTP would do to flirt? test the waters? etc

    Given how strong I was with the "- yeah, only because your hot" - on scale of 1 to 10 how uncomfortable would I make INTP feel with the statement? 5/10?

    And for example - maybe I'm looking into it too much - but I said on twitter - that she don't follow "I might get a jumper with INTJ on it"

    24-36 whatever hours later she makes a comment that she might get pin (maybe been something else small) with INTP on it.
    It seams to me that for INTP or INTJ - well she'd want to check me out but not follow because that means feelings. correct? and that her tweets are acknowledging me, but not directly?

    Also some of her closer followers-friends have been saying hi to me - again coincidences?

    My plan is to assume she checks my tweeter - I'll post stuff there see if any more coincidences happen - think that's the safe thing - as I said above I won't spammer her again - and if I directly tweet to her it'll be awhile and platonic.

    ...and now I'm running late but I really to appreciate the replies.

    Edit: did some more reading "It is more likely that INTP personalities will leave a trail of breadcrumbs for a potential partner" that's what I think is happening - could still very well be coincidence.

  6. #6
    Member Libra_Rising's Avatar
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    LOL I don't think INTP (male or female) have the social savviness to "leave breadcrumbs" to be alluring for someone to come to them. INTx are socially handicapped and often times totally miss the mark on social cues. And this is me being very polite when I say that, because the INTx variety of humans need a manual to function in society, whether that society be online or in real life.

    Seeing the very short and unengaging written exchange between the two of you (at least from what I can make out because your post is a jumbled mess), I'd say the other person is not even aware that the exchange means anything at all beyond the brief shallow nature of it.

    I think you've mistakenly believe that your thoughts matched your actions. You say this is the first time in years you've put yourself out there, but from the information given, there's no evidence of you making your interest clearly known to this person.

  7. #7

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    I think you are projecting and think that she is interested when she clearly isn't. A woman who wants to be with someone, even if she is painfully shy, would leave some pretty big clues that she wants to talk to the other person. The INTP lady in your story, did none of that so far, so I am inclined to believe that you shouldn't spam her anymore and look for someone else who can create a viable relationship with you.

    Good luck.

  8. #8
    Member Laxton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rrukel View Post
    Sorry I really struggle with the written word



    Never met them IR, not a fantasy made up thing, it's them being them, well as much as one can online for 3~ months.




    I'm not going to spam them again - or really send any messages like that but I still comment on subjects as the other followers do.
    What I'm asking is - given her type - I think I've answered it for myself really - if she is interested she'd struggle to reply directly - because I came on too strong, I gave her the option to tell me to go away and I would, she didn't but maybe she knows better then to reply to crazy :/


    I feel really attracted to her and I'm sure it's part her type that attracts me so much, hey type isn't the issue, it was 24 hours after I did my horrible spam that she said she took the MBTI test - I feel that maybe my messages influenced her to go in the direction of MBTI;
    "This person is a crazy(me) I wonder why?" ends up reading up about personalty traits maybe talks to friend, friend says that's typical INTJ, she asks wtf? and dose some research - she's very much likely do that.

    Positively or negatively - basically I was asking is: that something INTP would do to flirt? test the waters? etc

    Given how strong I was with the "- yeah, only because your hot" - on scale of 1 to 10 how uncomfortable would I make INTP feel with the statement? 5/10?

    And for example - maybe I'm looking into it too much - but I said on twitter - that she don't follow "I might get a jumper with INTJ on it"

    24-36 whatever hours later she makes a comment that she might get pin (maybe been something else small) with INTP on it.
    It seams to me that for INTP or INTJ - well she'd want to check me out but not follow because that means feelings. correct? and that her tweets are acknowledging me, but not directly?

    Also some of her closer followers-friends have been saying hi to me - again coincidences?

    My plan is to assume she checks my tweeter - I'll post stuff there see if any more coincidences happen - think that's the safe thing - as I said above I won't spammer her again - and if I directly tweet to her it'll be awhile and platonic.

    ...and now I'm running late but I really to appreciate the replies.

    Edit: did some more reading "It is more likely that INTP personalities will leave a trail of breadcrumbs for a potential partner" that's what I think is happening - could still very well be coincidence.
    What is it that your asking? I personally think that your intentions are very vague and you do not sound like someone who is adept enough at flirting to make your intentions clear. Be friendly, but not overly so.

    I used to know an INTJ who had no problem getting women and an INTP who has a large social circle (but is very inexperienced when it comes to relationships), so type is irrelevant. There are exceptions to every rule, and with some experience and confidence you could become one of them, because it honestly is not hard.

    Why do you need a plan? Getting a girl should be simple enough. Give compliments, and try to see if you realistically have a chance to meet her in person. If you can't, and have no interest in her further than seeing her as someone that you are romantically interested in, then find someone else to try this with.

    You're overthinking this to unnatural levels. When someone displays feelings for me, it's blatant. If you find yourself second guessing your actions then there is an issue with your behaviors or she is clearly not interested.

    However, you must put yourself out there more. 2 times in 7 years? I flirt with new women about 7 times in 2 months when I'm single. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, and quit taking relationships so seriously. INTJs are supposed to be notoriously independent from what I heard. The fact that you are writing these incoherent essays out of anxiousness shows me that you are missing something in life.

    I was once completely invisible to women, and now I attract them because they want in on the exciting life that I lead. I don't try anymore, but I put myself out there doing what I enjoy and usually find women along the way.

    Fuck having plans. Tell her that you're interested in her, and if she's not interested in you then forget about her and do something that is more enjoyable.

    I usually don't even bother trying to type people anymore, because 90% of it is all speculation unless someone explicitly tells you what they are (look up discussions of people trying to type celebrities and you will understand what I am trying to say). Even then, typing should serve as a guidline, because it's not like everybody on the entire planet falls into one of 16 cookie cutter personality types. People are different.

    If you're confused about whether or not she is interested, proceed like she isn't. Find someone else, and do not fall into oneitis or its gonna suck to be you.

  9. #9

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    What is happening here?
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  10. #10
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rrukel View Post
    Given how strong I was with the "- yeah, only because your hot" - on scale of 1 to 10 how uncomfortable would I make INTP feel with the statement? 5/10?
    10 and change INTP to any type. It wouldn't make me uncomfortable but I would want to punch you in the face. So stop saying that to everyone, immediately.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anaximander View Post
    What is happening here?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
    Likes asynartetic, iwakar, Estelia liked this post

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