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  1. #1
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    Default ENTP and Relationship Trust Issues

    I am very good friends with an ENTP (we hover between friends and more than friends at times) and he confides in me about very personal matters. Basically he shares his life with me as it happens. He's made very complimentary remarks to me and makes an effort to talk to me every day even if it's just " are you OK?" (it's an online friendship at this point). Is this typical behavior for an ENTP with most people? How do i not screw this up? I care about him very deeply and really enjoy his company/input in my life. Being an ENFJ, i can get paranoid about things (over active Fe mixed with Ti over thinking)

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Senior Member GIjade's Avatar
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    How can you not screw this up? Tell the fucking truth.
    “Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first we practice to deceive.”
    ― Walter Scott, Marmion
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    Well, in 3 lines, what I suppose you want to tell us is that you have some (or more) feelings for him, and wonder him it's the same for him, based on a lot of ambiguity and some moments and words you told each others.

    What I can tell you is that you should just ask him. If you make an honest and clear defined question, this will work.

    If you wait until you have overthought some outputs from him and imagine X or Y, and that, after you make him the blame of doing Z, he will probably be very angry, and will feel "trapped".
    And, trust me, there is nothing (well, actually, a few) worse than having to deal with a "feeling trapped" ENTP.

    ENTP always seems more "EP" than "NT" until you actually have to deal with them about serious matter. The Truth above all.

  4. #4
    Privileged Sh!tlord ZNP-TBA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Plumgardyn View Post
    I am very good friends with an ENTP (we hover between friends and more than friends at times) and he confides in me about very personal matters. Basically he shares his life with me as it happens. He's made very complimentary remarks to me and makes an effort to talk to me every day even if it's just " are you OK?" (it's an online friendship at this point). Is this typical behavior for an ENTP with most people? How do i not screw this up? I care about him very deeply and really enjoy his company/input in my life. Being an ENFJ, i can get paranoid about things (over active Fe mixed with Ti over thinking)

    Thanks
    Sometimes my easy going nature is misinterpreted, especially by women. I have female friends that have felt comfortable around me while I share my thoughts with them but then for them a possibility develops that there could be something more. It's typically the women that do a lot of introspection (which is one of the reasons I like talking to them) but then begin to ask themselves the meaning of it all. I know in my case that good relationships I have with women do not always translate into romance. Try to figure if he's looking for a relationship first.
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  5. #5
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Wtf @ Title vs OP?
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
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    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  6. #6
    Dope& diamonds. Dyslexxie's Avatar
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    It's hard to say based on limited information but I should mention that ENTPs are amazing at drawing people in and getting them wrapped up in them, making them feel like this is it, it must be real. ENTPs go from 0 to 100 just like that, and unfortunately it also works the other way, where once they've gotten what they want, they'll go from 100 to 0 right away as well.

    That being said, ENTPs are intense in relationships if you can manage to keep their attention. I don't think I've ever experienced that level of intensity from any other types. They're passionate, exciting, spontaneous, and form amazing connections.

    I don't think you can necessarily screw it up unless you try to get overly clingy and possessive - I think that's the fastest way to scare off an ENTP. That being said, just be honest and keep doing what you're doing.

  7. #7
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    @Dyslexxie@ZombieNinjaPirate : well I think we are saying the same thing with our words !


    ENTPs go from 0 to 100 just like that, and unfortunately it also works the other way, where once they've gotten what they want, they'll go from 100 to 0 right away as well.
    I would not say it like this, but there is something true in it. I would say that it's even worse, because most ENTP wouldn't dare stopping the relationship so harshly, and would try to sabotage it instead of just saying "stop".
    And, also, "they've gotten what they want" , well, you say it like if ENTP wants sex or things like this. While i agree with this sentence i say that, most of the time, "what they want" is intellectual. ENTP wants to discover you, like a new land, like a new universe; it's like being a child and find something new and terribly exciting. But if you are a small island and not a continent, well...then the trip will be shorter. But it's not because of the lack of interest, it's more that you lack interesting features.
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  8. #8
    Privileged Sh!tlord ZNP-TBA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inarius View Post
    @Dyslexxie@ZombieNinjaPirate : well I think we are saying the same thing with our words !



    I would not say it like this, but there is something true in it. I would say that it's even worse, because most ENTP wouldn't dare stopping the relationship so harshly, and would try to sabotage it instead of just saying "stop".
    And, also, "they've gotten what they want" , well, you say it like if ENTP wants sex or things like this. While i agree with this sentence i say that, most of the time, "what they want" is intellectual. ENTP wants to discover you, like a new land, like a new universe; it's like being a child and find something new and terribly exciting. But if you are a small island and not a continent, well...then the trip will be shorter. But it's not because of the lack of interest, it's more that you lack interesting features.
    Well said. ENTPs dread having a static partner though. Like you said with the new land example, not only does it have to be vast full of possibilities but it has to be active like volcanic activity reshaping the surface of some land or creating new island chains. Having a dynamic partner willing to evolve with us even into the unknown really piques or interest and is a guaranteed way to hold our interest.
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  9. #9
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZombieNinjaPirate View Post
    Well said. ENTPs dread having a static partner though. Like you said with the new land example, not only does it have to be vast full of possibilities but it has to be active like volcanic activity reshaping the surface of some land or creating new island chains. Having a dynamic partner willing to evolve with us even into the unknown really piques or interest and is a guaranteed way to hold our interest.
    ikr
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    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  10. #10
    Member Libra_Rising's Avatar
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    ENTP often "fool" people with our abilities to understand emotional depth and we do reach out to others and share bits and pieces of our lives with other people. It's the E that propels us to find some common ground with others, but the T allows us to remain thoughtful and skeptical. We're easy going and fairly open people, so we like talking about all sorts of things with all sorts of people. People feel strangely at ease with me, probably because I'm at ease with myself. I get people telling me very personal things when they first meet me, and it doesn't bother me one bit. I've told some people some personal things, but that was because the conversation ended up going that route.

    I think that because it's an online communication "relationship," it's purely intellectual. You see words on a screen coming from some other source, which originated from another mind. But that doesn't make for romance or even the start of it. It could, but often times, it's not. It's just intellectual exchange, which is another way people socialize in the modern age to substitute for real, physical socialization.

    I think that the biggest misunderstanding between F and T is a very fundamental one. F feels that if it's a certain way, it must be so. T will follow their thoughts and arrive at conclusion which may not coincide with their feelings. I think it's this very difference that makes it the biggest challenge for people who are F vs T.

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