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  1. #31
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    It's usually the other way around.
    Huh? How so?

    (Yeah yeah, it's a narcissistic question, but really, I can't see an INTJ in any relationship that they weren't benefiting from. An ENFP may not be so wise... and no, I'm not such an ENFP.)

  2. #32
    Senior Member Maabus1999's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanillaCat View Post
    When I dated my INTJ, he seemed to be far more pushy and lovey than I was. But then again, a lot of the times he didn't get to see how much I loved him. It was during the time where I thought emotions made you weak, so he totally didn't get a good sense of how I felt for him. Sigh.

    Nevertheless, there was definitely heaps of potential there. =(
    I have found younger ENFP's don't understand an INTJ when he tries to set a pattern that he is comfortable with. And when he does, they do, as you say, keep their emotions in check, so it completely frustrates the INTJ and after awhile, his interest goes away (slowly, he may end the relationship before that, but think for along over what happened). If an INTJ puts out trust and doesn't feel it in return, he feels possibly vulnerable and pulls back like a coiled snake.

  3. #33
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    Huh? How so?

    (Yeah yeah, it's a narcissistic question, but really, I can't see an INTJ in any relationship that they weren't benefiting from. An ENFP may not be so wise... and no, I'm not such an ENFP.)
    Typically ENFPs are the ones who are amused by the INTJ's antics. That's how they find them. INTJs wouldn't go out of their way for ENFPs themselves. If the INTJ is going to stick around, they're likely getting something out of it (possibly food), but the INTJ is usually the one doing the amusing.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  4. #34
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    When I sport-argue with my ENFP friend, he

    a) gives up easily
    b) assumes my points are valid before thinking them through clearly
    c) lets me misdirect him with a side-issue when he's on to one of the holes in my argument


    He could easily "win" more often if he simply harped on a single point and supported it well instead of tangenting all over the place and going for breadth of argument.
    From that short post (which I really have no business judging), it sounds like your friend has no confidence in his brain power and/or is too lazy to challenge someone he regards as superior. This is my worst fear... I don't want to ever EVER feel inferior or hopelessly lacking in intelligence with anyone I hang out with, let alone a mate. By this I don't mean I don't want to hang out with intelligent people (IRL, all of my friends are uniquely intelligent in their respective studies), just not people who make me feel inferior (ie are condescending) or that I for some random reason feel inferior with.

    Admiring your mate is one thing, but being with him/her out of insecurity (a perverted form of admiration) is the worst! I hope the dude that started this thread isn't thinking of doing that. Really, get yourself together first, then go knock some INTJ off her feet with your uniquely creative, well thought-out ideas.

  5. #35
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maabus1999 View Post
    I have found younger ENFP's don't understand an INTJ when he tries to set a pattern that he is comfortable with. And when he does, they do, as you say, keep their emotions in check, so it completely frustrates the INTJ and after awhile, his interest goes away (slowly, he may end the relationship before that, but think for along over what happened). If an INTJ puts out trust and doesn't feel it in return, he feels possibly vulnerable and pulls back like a coiled snake.
    Pattern? Are you refering to the exchange of vulnerable expressions of love/feelings/whatever? and that ENFPs stop reciprocating?

  6. #36
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Typically ENFPs are the ones who are amused by the INTJ's antics. That's how they find them. INTJs wouldn't go out of their way for ENFPs themselves. If the INTJ is going to stick around, they're likely getting something out of it (possibly food), but the INTJ is usually the one doing the amusing.
    You amuse me so!!!

    LOL!!!!







    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

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  7. #37
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    *wishes he could just start cooking and have the smell bring the hungry INTJs in...*
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  8. #38
    Senior Member Kristiana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    *wishes he could just start cooking and have the smell bring the hungry INTJs in...*

    Mmmmm do I smell food?

    *runs in, and brings her husband, too*

    TWO INTJs are here to eat! You got your wish!
    j'adore les chats

  9. #39
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I tend to share the thought that INTJ/ENFP would take a lot of work to uh, work.

    I've sorta had my Te artificially augmented by hanging out a lot with ENTJ's in the past, so i find the Ne/Ni issues get resolved between me and INTJ's usually by our common ground of Te. And my T also neutralizes my E to some extent, meaning that I don't 'require' so much human contact and affirmation as the ENFP usually does, so the INTJ doesn't tend to find me quite so much of a pest as I don't interfere in their 'alone time' (much). I need lots of external stimulation and interaction but it doesn't need to be people at all. Walking around a new town on my own for a day can be enough for me, but ENFP's tend to need more 'together time' which can drain the INTJ.

    Just my tuppence worth.
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  10. #40
    Senior Member Maabus1999's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    Pattern? Are you refering to the exchange of vulnerable expressions of love/feelings/whatever? and that ENFPs stop reciprocating?
    INTJ's when younger, and even later, take forever to decide things in a relationship. And they will constantly open and close up during their process. I think indirectly this attracts ENFP's because to them the INTJ is not 100% giving them the validation that they are "super awesome and I love you to death." The INTJ may think it at times but will pull himself back, which may drive the ENFP A.) crazy and try to pull him out more or B.) away.

    Not sure if that makes more sense.

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