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Thread: INTJ flirting

  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    1. No, because sexual harassment has to be unwanted attention (and is virtually impossible to charge in court).

    2. fun. That's the point of the whole thing, imo. I've flirted with people who I was barely even attracted to just for the hell of it (well, I've done it for tips too, but that's a dif. story).
    Well, flirting doesn't always have to be wanted, does it? After all, as I said earlier, it's ass-kissing.

    Trust me, the slightest and strangest things can be considered sexual harassment to some people. It's considered sexual harassment even if it wasn't intended or directed toward anyone or even known by the offender (at least in Ohio). I've never made sexually suggestive comments toward people, and yet some people seemed to feel it was implied. This is the sort of thing that cost me jobs in the past.

    And so I've been figuring out ways to get back at women for being so uptight. I assumed I can use their flirty advancements to get them to taste their own medicine.

    Oh, and the definition of flirt is "to make playfully romantic or sexual overtones." Yes, that could qualify as sexual harassment -- it is very risky behavior, indeed.

  2. #82
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    Well, flirting doesn't always have to be wanted, does it? After all, as I said earlier, it's ass-kissing.

    Trust me, the slightest and strangest things can be considered sexual harassment to some people. It's considered sexual harassment even if it wasn't intended or directed toward anyone or even known by the offender (at least in Ohio). I've never made sexually suggestive comments toward people, and yet some people seemed to feel it was implied. This is the sort of thing that cost me jobs in the past.

    And so I've been figuring out ways to get back at women for being so uptight. I assumed I can use their flirty advancements to get them to taste their own medicine.

    Oh, and the definition of flirt is "to make playfully romantic or sexual overtones." Yes, that could qualify as sexual harassment -- it is very risky behavior, indeed.

    I see what you are saying. I think we are just discussing two different ideas. When I think of flirting, I think more of teasing, etc. not overt sexual advances.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    I see what you are saying. I think we are just discussing two different ideas. When I think of flirting, I think more of teasing, etc. not overt sexual advances.
    Oh, well then teasing could be a form of regular harassment.

    In Ohio, for some reason, Harassment is a subcategory of Sexual Harassment and not vice versa. (Politics never make sense to me.)

  4. #84
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    (Politics never make sense to me.)
    ah, the root of many problems...politics does, in fact, not make sense.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  5. #85
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    Well, flirting doesn't always have to be wanted, does it? After all, as I said earlier, it's ass-kissing.
    There is kissing up to someone to manipulate them into liking you or making exceptions for you without caring anything about them. There is also 'kissing up' or giving compliments because you actually do like the person and want them to feel good about themselves. I was always really horrible at flirting irl, but have developed some verbal fun online.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    And so I've been figuring out ways to get back at women for being so uptight. I assumed I can use their flirty advancements to get them to taste their own medicine.
    What does this mean? You accuse them of sexual harassment? I'm guessing that very often the women who inappropriately interpret things as sexual harassment have emotional issues. Others may well just be liars and manipulators. If women project past wrongs from men onto current innocent men, it is also a shame when men do the same to women. Things become viscous cycles so easily.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    There is kissing up to someone to manipulate them into liking you or making exceptions for you without caring anything about them. There is also 'kissing up' or giving compliments because you actually do like the person and want them to feel good about themselves. I was always really horrible at flirting irl, but have developed some verbal fun online.
    Yes, but how are you able to tell the difference?

    When you are complimented by others so you feel good about yourself, how do you know they're sincere? They're probably just telling you what they think you want to hear. These days, when people tell others the truth, which is considerably more hurtful, they risk a lawsuit.

    And it's also a general weakness called compassion that leads people to avoid hurting others' feelings. Thus, they say only what they think you want to hear.

    What does this mean? You accuse them of sexual harassment? I'm guessing that very often the women who inappropriately interpret things as sexual harassment have emotional issues. Others may well just be liars and manipulators. If women project past wrongs from men onto current innocent men, it is also a shame when men do the same to women. Things become viscous cycles so easily.
    Exactly, and their emotional issues have cost me several jobs in the past. And now it's my turn.

    These days, someone you don't like (there's not always a reason for disliking people) who is standing in the same room with you is technically harassing you. And harassment no longer has to be directed at anyone in particular, it could just be someone saying or doing something that makes another person feel uncomfortable, and granted, discussion of even the most trivial things is bound to make at least someone feel uncomfortable. In which case, a disliked person standing in the same room as you will then be considered harassment.

  7. #87
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Do we have a frustrated smiley?

    Fliting and being flattered aren't the same thing. One happens to you, and it becomes a question of whether or not you buy into it. The other involves more than one person, typically two, (however, I can see a case being made for 2+) and you are actively engaged in it - because you want to be. Flirting doesn't just happen to you, you need to be involved, you need to be open to it happening.

    Ye ken?

    This signature left intentionally blank.

    Really.

  8. #88
    Senior Member Rohsiph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    When you are complimented by others so you feel good about yourself, how do you know they're sincere? They're probably just telling you what they think you want to hear. These days, when people tell others the truth, which is considerably more hurtful, they risk a lawsuit.
    Pretty wild cynicism right there. I mean, goddamn, if telling the truth means risking a lawsuit, there must be no reason anyone would ever do that! Or if it could hurt someone? Then it's even worse! Then they could impale you with shovels! You know, because if they get hurt from your hurting them, then the only recourse is to hurt you physically--with shovels. to death.

    I guess my observation skills must often be deceiving me, because I generally am pretty confident about being able to tell when someone is being sincere or not. Sure, doubt will always enter my mind when a compliment seems unwarranted, but it's usually worth considering whether there is a reason for manipulation. Lots of times there won't be, and it's . . . what is it . . . paranoid to then enforce internal thoughts about conventional emotional dishonesty. I don't know about you, but the few times I've tried on paranoia it has been pretty severely limiting.

    Exactly, and their emotional issues have cost me several jobs in the past. And now it's my turn.

    These days, someone you don't like (there's not always a reason for disliking people) who is standing in the same room with you is technically harassing you. And harassment no longer has to be directed at anyone in particular, it could just be someone saying or doing something that makes another person feel uncomfortable, and granted, discussion of even the most trivial things is bound to make at least someone feel uncomfortable. In which case, a disliked person standing in the same room as you will then be considered harassment.
    Rationalized revenge always works out so well . . .

    That aside, I'm wondering what other days you might be referring to, about harassment having some weaker definition. You seem to imply some heavy experience with these things, so I am curious to hear where you're coming from.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rohsiph View Post
    That aside, I'm wondering what other days you might be referring to, about harassment having some weaker definition. You seem to imply some heavy experience with these things, so I am curious to hear where you're coming from.
    When you say things that might offend others, but the comment is not directed toward the one being offended. So in essence, people now link their personal disagreement with offense. If a comment is not directed toward the person, then it shouldn't be considered harassment, because there is the option of ignoring. If what I say in general is harassment, then that's a violation of freedom of speech.

  10. #90
    Senior Member Rohsiph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    When you say things that might offend others, but the comment is not directed toward the one being offended. So in essence, people now link their personal disagreement with offense. If a comment is not directed toward the person, then it shouldn't be considered harassment, because there is the option of ignoring. If what I say in general is harassment, then that's a violation of freedom of speech.
    Alright, I think I understand and (mostly) agree with this idea theoretically. Wherein, in the event that I say something that might be generally offensive, but pointed at no one in particular, and someone interprets what I said to be something explicitly about him/her, I will not consider their misinterpretation to count as myself having harassed him/her. Indeed, it will take a long-standing relationship between myself and this hypothetical for me to sympathize and go out of my way to change or take back my initial statement.

    I have experienced dealing with people who have reacted to me this way. However, this has never happened in a way where they have managed to cause me harm because of what I said--at worst, some have caused the minor inconvenience of making me explain that I was speaking generally.

    Meh.

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