[INTJ] INTJ flirting

[Ferdinand]

First of all, hello, I'm a "n00b" in here but I've been into MBTI for some time now.

Second of all, flirting. Quite frankly, I suck at it. I can only flirt with a girl when I know her personally and when I know that I do not want anything more than just friendship or whatever. But usually that's more of an "exchange of wittiness" rather than actual flirting.

 

[Oberon]

Does that mean INTJs don't flirt with their spouses? Because that would be really no fun.

INTJs may flirt, but more frequently they just schedule.

 

[Natrushka]

INTJs may flirt, but more frequently they just schedule.

Yep.

 

[Totenkindly]

First of all, hello, I'm a "n00b" in here but I've been into MBTI for some time now.

Second of all, flirting. Quite frankly, I suck at it. I can only flirt with a girl when I know her personally and when I know that I do not want anything more than just friendship or whatever. But usually that's more of an "exchange of wittiness" rather than actual flirting.

Well, you do have to start somewhere... and depending on the girl, perhaps she actually does consider it a come-on.

<frown>

Wait. I am not sure I like the connotations of "come on" (i.e., "they're coming onto me") anymore. <eye roll>

 

[Sahara]

But usually that's more of an "exchange of wittiness" rather than actual flirting.

I find an exchange of wittiness to be a form of flirting as it happens, it's the way I flirt most of the time.

 

[Natrushka]

I find an exchange of wittiness to be a form of flirting as it happens, it's the way I flirt most of the time.

Same here. Wittiness, dry humour, double entendres... if you can keep up with me it's flirting in my books.

 

[Mycroft]

What, precisely, constitutes flirting?

 

[Ferdinand]

Well, to me, flirting has a goal - exploring the possibilities of a romantic relationship. Which isn't the case when I'm "flirting" with someone whom I am not romantically interested in. But then again, that might just be me.

 

[Natrushka]

Flirting, for me, is playful interaction that might lead to something more playful. I see it as a dance with words, probably a tango.

 

[Ivy]

I completely disagree. It's obviously the Lambada.

 

[Venona]

dancing with swords

i likes, it's the chloroform that's so damn expensive

 

[The Ü™]

I don't really know when people are flirting with me or telling me what I want to hear. I usually doubt sincerity. I get these sorts of comments on MySpace all the time. It usually indicates that people want something from me. Because when I go out in public, no one seems to take notice of me.

Even my mother tells me what I want to hear: that I'm a creative, intelligent out-of-the-box thinker. But I can never be sure if she really means that or she's just kissing my ass so that I leave her alone.

 

[Natrushka]

Flirting doesn't have to be about what people want from you; you get something out of it, too. Flirting makes you feel good about yourself. Think outside this box

 

[The Ü™]

Flirting doesn't have to be about what people want from you; you get something out of it, too. Flirting makes you feel good about yourself. Think outside this box

Yes, I understand that. But the way it makes one feel good about him/herself is not always honest. Think of American Idol contestants (no, I do not watch the show, it's just that I overhear it when someone else is watching) who are flattered about what good singers people say they are, and then when they audition, they find out the truth.

I think this world needs more people like Simon Cowell.

 

[Natrushka]

Yes, I understand that. But the way it makes one feel good about him/herself is not always honest. Think of American Idol contestants (no, I do not watch the show, it's just that I overhear it when someone else is watching) who are flattered about what good singers people say they are, and then when they audition, they find out the truth.

I think this world needs more people like Simon Cowell.

Flirting and AI are not the same thing. Flirting is connecting with another human being, not only with someone that finds YOU interesting, but with someone that YOU find interesting. From the perspective of an INTJ, it's rare I find someone that 'gets me' or whose wit and company I seek out; when it happens it is to be treasured. You take away a good feeling because of the connection; flattery doesn't have to enter into it - but if it does? If someoone tells me I'm witty or quick with a come back that increases MY estimation of them; I know myself and I know what I am and what I am not. Because the alternative I'll hear is "Oh, that was mean, you should be more sensitive".

Having someone tell you you're a great singer when you are in fact tone deaf, isn't flirting. And the world does need more people like Simon Cowell.

 

[The Ü™]

Flirting and AI are not the same thing. Flirting is connecting with another human being, not only with someone that finds YOU interesting, but with someone that YOU find interesting. From the perspective of an INTJ, it's rare I find someone that 'gets me' or whose wit and company I seek out; when it happens it is to be treasured. You take away a good feeling because of the connection; flattery doesn't have to enter into it - but if it does? If someoone tells me I'm witty or quick with a come back that increases MY estimation of them; I know myself and I know what I am and what I am not. Because the alternative I'll hear is "Oh, that was mean, you should be more sensitive".

Having someone tell you you're a great singer when you are in fact tone deaf, isn't flirting. And the world does need more people like Simon Cowell.

I have a theory that Sensors are more likely to be tone deaf, but also more likely to memorize the actual lyrics. (And most people I know are very off-key when singing, but fine at memorizing lyrics.)

An Intuitive, who tends to capture the essence of things, will be more keen on memorizing the tone of music, since the Intuitive is more interested in background perception, which is part of Jung's definition of the Intuitive. Intuitives tend to perceive the emotional subtleties of things.

 

[Natrushka]

Have I mentioned that I am tone deaf?

 

[The Ü™]

Have I mentioned that I am tone deaf?

Oh, so much for that theory, then.

 

[The Ü™]

I can't believe this was brought up: Isn't flirting technically sexual harassment?

And what on Earth is the point of flirting with spouses? You're already stuck with them!

 

[Metamorphosis]

I can't believe this was brought up: Isn't flirting technically sexual harassment?

And what on Earth is the point of flirting with spouses? You're already stuck with them!

1. No, because sexual harassment has to be unwanted attention (and is virtually impossible to charge in court).

2. fun. That's the point of the whole thing, imo. I've flirted with people who I was barely even attracted to just for the hell of it (well, I've done it for tips too, but that's a dif. story).