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Thread: INTJ flirting

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Does that mean INTJs don't flirt with their spouses? Because that would be really no fun.
    INTJs flirt intellectually by manipulating words using puns and metaphors. Once physical connection has been established and the relationship is in full swing, INTJ women can flirt so seductively that most partners exclaim, "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, LORD!"

  2. #22

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    I have a few thoughts about this, especially about the original poster's position.

    I'm an INTJ, and I really am not very good at flirting. I'm really not very good at talking to women at all. Occasionally I'll be able to do the intellectual flirting thing. But I really don't think there is a difference between "flirting" and "intellectual flirting". I think it's a difference of method, and that's all. It's still putting on a show, it's just putting on "King Lear" instead of "Grease". I think any difference is that the NT in question has a pejorative opinion of someone else's method.

    Flirting, aside from being fun if you can do it, isn't the provenance of sluts and manwhores. Remarking on someone's physical attractiveness isn't crass, it's a compliment. And the MySpace come-ons you see aren't flirting, they're advertisements for sex products. It's the difference between brandishing a gun and shooting someone.

    Finally, whether you see it as uncouth or unproductive, the truth is that we do have to sell ourselves a little if we want to attract the opposite sex. I'm like the OP...I don't like the idea of selling myself, I think it kind of queers the deal. But that's just the way it is. Flirting is like selling a product in the supermarket...it puts you on a shelf at eye-level and makes you visible. If you refuse to flirt at all, you're putting yourself on the top shelf in the back where no one can see. Which is fine, if you want to hold on to your principles (in fact, my behavior can be seen as exactly this.) But the rub is that no matter how good that product is, no one is going out of their way to come look for it.

  3. #23
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    Ok, this thread keeps reinforcing my theory that INTJ men lean towards being asexual.

    Thanks for the lack of competition!

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Ok, this thread keeps reinforcing my theory that INTJ men lean towards being asexual.

    Thanks for the lack of competition!
    The guys I've known who have declared little-no interest in sex are generally INT's, but there have been both J's and P's in that mix. Somehow, I've never been entirely convinced of it. Certain personalities may wish to not disclose their needs for other human beings.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  5. #25
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Thanks for the lack of competition!
    Why bother? Nobody can flirt as badly as you. Har!

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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    The guys I've known who have declared little-no interest in sex are generally INT's, but there have been both J's and P's in that mix. Somehow, I've never been entirely convinced of it. Certain personalities may wish to not disclose their needs for other human beings.
    Considering the sample sizes on the two forums:

    INTJ men < INTP men

    when it comes to sexuality.

    Over at INTPc I can find just about 1 asexual INTJ for each asexual INTP. Which is counterintuitive considering there are 10x as many INTPs.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Considering the sample sizes on the two forums:

    INTJ men < INTP men

    when it comes to sexuality.

    Over at INTPc I can find just about 1 asexual INTJ for each asexual INTP. Which is counterintuitive considering there are 10x as many INTPs.
    I hadn't taken the tally. I have no comment. You may be taking the whole "lack of P-ness" thing a little too literally, though.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I hadn't taken the tally. I have no comment. You may be taking the whole "lack of P-ness" thing a little too literally, though.
    My Pness is quite large...




    However! It is just something I've noticed. Way disproportionate numbers.





    Sorry eyebyte.

    (attila isn't)

  9. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Ok, this thread keeps reinforcing my theory that INTJ men lean towards being asexual.

    Thanks for the lack of competition!
    It's funny, maybe it's just a matter of perspective. But I'm an INTJ, and I love women and love sex. It's just that I'm virtually incapable of obtaining it. Maybe other INTJs are like me. It's not that I don't care about sex, it just feels like I'm on a lake with a thousand other boats, and all the guys in the other boats have fishing rods and I just have my hands.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FMWarner View Post
    It's funny, maybe it's just a matter of perspective. But I'm an INTJ, and I love women and love sex. It's just that I'm virtually incapable of obtaining it. Maybe other INTJs are like me. It's not that I don't care about sex, it just feels like I'm on a lake with a thousand other boats, and all the guys in the other boats have fishing rods and I just have my hands.
    Yeah, even if INTJ men get past the whole sex-as-a-concept conundrum, they are woefully inadequate to do much about it.

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