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Thread: INTJ flirting

  1. #11
    Senior Member Cerpin_Taxt's Avatar
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    Oh god I hate flirting, if you have something to say just fucking say it already.
    It just strike's me as pointlessly mysterious, but whatever. People are strange when your a stranger.

    I'm very oblivious to flirting, and it's usually only pointed out to me by friends about 5-10 mins after the fact.

  2. #12
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    I have gotten my share of flirty comments through messages at MySpace from fake slut profiles. If this is what flirting really is like, I pity the fools who think I am that easy.

    Online, people will often send me the following words and characters: <3, XOXOXO, "hey babe", "hi, sexy", and so forth.

    If a flirt sends me a picture of herself in a bikini or shows cheek by pulling down a side of her thong then, quite honestly, I am appalled by her notion that I am that easy, and I will assume that she is a slut.

    Besides the obvious superficial flirting technique I described above, I have either not noticed a "coming on" tactic or have not experienced it altogether. I assume that any woman who openly states that I'm a "hottie" or any other "flattering" comment is a slut who is not worth my time and deserves to die.

  3. #13
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    They look a lot. Almost as if they dislike you.

    Sometimes punching is involved.

  4. #14
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I assume that any woman who openly states that I'm a "hottie" or any other "flattering" comment is a slut who is not worth my time and deserves to die.
    The J is strong in you, UF.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Shimpei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spartan26 View Post
    ...
    I totally agree with Spartan.
    It's not exactly what you say but how you say things that makes all the difference. You can say what you want in a playful way as well.
    Consider if you're not flirting (you're not playful, or teasing), you may come off less attractive (even boring or too predictable) in the eyes of the opposite sex.
    By being playful you radiate confidence and emotional stability, which are very attractive.

  6. #16
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    a) The objective behind flirting is to form a romantic relationship with that person (Assuming you are not one who does it just for the fun. I'm assuming most introverts do not.)
    It can also be simply for the purpose of making somebody feel good about themselves. I flirt a bit with guys and girls - mostly as teasing, joking, or letting them know they are attractive.

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    b) I want to develop a relationship formed on the best analysis of who that person is.
    c) When you're flirting, you're acting. You're not behaving as you normally do.
    There are all types of flirting, but when I have flirted (and I used to be way too shy to try) I'm actually revealing myself in certain ways.
    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    d) Flirting is therefore a detraction from the main objective. It wastes time, b/c it takes way longer to figure out the practicalness if that person is someone that you should actually be attracted to.
    You're right if it is fake like your assumption. Oftentimes it is, so I do understand that.

    I'm guessing you'll be alright even without flirting because you sound strong and direct. Those are both qualities men tend to need in women which are rare to find. Your rejection of flirting is also a bit of a challenge to guys. Many will want to conquer you all the more to get past that defiant exterior to make you knees weak, and your cheeks flushed. It's going to happen to you whether you like it or not. And you're prolly cute to boot!
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  7. #17
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Oh I could answer this right now - I've been out in the sun all day and I've had a beer. Maybe two. I've always been a cheap drunk. But I have mundane shit to do tonight. I'll be back </Arnold>

    This signature left intentionally blank.

    Really.

  8. #18
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    You may not enjoy flirting but I'm sure it has a purpose. It's difficult to go from an intellectual conversation to sex with no transition.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I assume that any woman who openly states that I'm a "hottie" or any other "flattering" comment is a slut who is not worth my time and deserves to die.
    :horor: Good heavens, Uberfuhrer! Where on earth do you expect to find "worthy" women to date, holding signs at a Repeal the 19th Amendment Rally?!

    Honestly, it is not that serious. A woman saying "Hey Hottie" can be merely the equivalent to "What's up, dude," by a male. Sure there are etiquette issues and some acts that are so bold they come across distasteful but give people a chance. There are many reasons why people act the way they do.

    Consider the present climate that we live in. Women can feel they have a lot to compete against. Before even getting a guy's attention away from an X-box of X-Games, she's got to deal with getting by the images melded into a guy's psyche of the Madonna-Britney kiss, Beyonce videos, Jessica Simpson calendars and Scarlett Jo pictorials. Without even getting into the surgical cosmetic reconstructions some under go, if you haven't noticed there is a constant barrage aimed at a woman's sense of appearance, clothing ads on TV, diet foods, fashion mags, it never ends.

    I do think it is very unfortunate and a sad indictment against society that modesty is so routinely scoffed at but people do adapt to the environment they're in. There's kinda this defense now in the world of athletics that if you don't do performance enhancing drugs you'll never make it because so many others are doing them. The same can hold true for flirting. There are some actions that would be the casual equivalent to the norm of taking protien powders that years ago would've seemed rather racy.

    This is not to say you can't or shouldn't be able to identify in your mind what actions would be more like injecting HGH and that you would find subject to banning but I'd urge you not to take every open sign of affection as a sign of moral decay.

    Just as people can dismiss NT's as dufuses or nerdy dolts right off by merely looking at their well, rather nerdy appearance, so can the incorrect judgment go the other way in defining a women as slutty. There's gotta be some give and take. I mean have you even thought about how women can signify that A) they are open and assessable to the thought of meeting someone or B) that they might be specifically interested in you? It's gotta start somewhere. Even for the people who wed in Vegas 5 hours after meeting one another had the initial smile and hello. You may really have to face some control issues, among other things, if you expect a woman to walk around in a Laura Ingalls' dress and submit a written application for dating between the hours of 3-5 PM on M-W-F.

    Although in may sound conniving, some appearance and flirty stuff is just like flyers to get people interested, to get people to check out what's inside. Not a "Take Free" sign. A low cut top or bikini photo can mean "hey, look at me," not necessarily "hey, I'll do whoever now in the parking lot." Some people like attention, others do not.

    Honestly, this is all coming from a place of empathy and experience. (Of which I'm obviously warning others not just trying to in any way attack you.) Many a night I have anguished away over what I could've said or could've done but I'm telling you now you don't get that time back. I am still guilty of probably dismissing outright in my head without so much as greeting a woman who seems a little too...welcoming, shall we say. But there were those time and those cases where I believed a woman to be one way when she was totally not. After a very short time of getting to know one of them, that sort of slutty appearance I had for them in my mind was quickly erased and replaced with a more endearing image. I'd strongly recommend telling the flirters on MySpace or whoever you meet in life, "Hey, you're moving a bit too fast for me" and just see where that goes. While you'll probably get some who'll slap the back of their hand against their forehead and give you the captain's L, others will step back and prolly wanna get to know someone who stands out from the norm.

    Be forewarned that if your distrust of all things flirty is coming from a place of anger, resentment or deep negativity, it's gonna come out and these women will move on so you better be prepared for self examination from that point on.

  10. #20
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Y'all are a bunch of uptight Js. Flirting=fun. I flirt all the time in my own way, which usually means that I pretend to hate your guts. Although it gets confusing when I really do hate your guts.

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