[INTP] Who is the best match for INTP?

[great_bay]

So what do people think of INTP and ESTJ? According to personality page, this pairing is suggested because INTP and ESTJ both share dominate introverted and extroverted thinking. They share a similar view of the world.

 

[Rasofy]

Which types are the best match for INTP? Who can make INTP fall head over heels on first sight? Who make INTP twist and twirl into the stars leaving their mark on the sky forever? Who can make INTP cry?

For a male INTP, I suppose ENFJ and INFP would be the best matches romantic-wise... Butterflies in the stomach and shit...

INTJ or another INTP if you want a best friend who you can have sex with

So what do people think of INTP and ESTJ? According to personality page, this pairing is suggested because INTP and ESTJ both share dominate introverted and extroverted thinking. They share a similar view of the world.

 

[chubber]

ENTPs or ENTJs

I think F-types are going to be disastrous after a while, make that after one week.

Being with other introvert types is going to be a lonely relationship, nobody is going to initiate anything.

 

[Totenkindly]

So what do people think of INTP and ESTJ? According to personality page, this pairing is suggested because INTP and ESTJ both share dominate introverted and extroverted thinking. They share a similar view of the world.

They do?
Want to explain how? Ti and Te don't share the same concerns.

 

[great_bay]

They do?
Want to explain how? Ti and Te don't share the same concerns.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the INTP's natural partner is the ENTJ, or the ESTJ. The INTP's dominant function of Introverted Thinking is best matched with a partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted Thinking. The INTP/ENTJ match is ideal, because these types shared Intuition as a common way of perceiving the world, but INTP/ESTJ is also a good match. How did we arrive at this?

INTP Relationships

 

[chubber]

Living Happily in our World as an INTP

The problems that INTPs have with regards to fitting into our world are not usually related to platonic friendships. Usually, the INTP has trouble finding and maintaining a love relationship. The INTP usually has relatively simple needs and expectations from their mates, and they're surprised and confused to find that their mates have more complex demands. They don't understand their mate's needs, and may feel inadequate to meeting them. They get very uncomfortable with a situation as they perceive that they are expected to do something that it unknown to them. They back away from the relationship. They generally mask their fear and discomfort by reducing the importance of the relationship to themselves and others, or by putting the failure off onto the ridiculous expectations of their ex-mate. Outside of a relationship, they feel more unloved and unappreciated, but are afraid to commit to a relationship because they fear rejection and hurt.

Most INTPs experience relationship difficulties at some point in their lives. The INTP with a well-developed Extraverted Intuition will find relationships more satisfying and easier to deal with. Accordingly, we offer some general suggestions for dealing with relationships, as well as some advice that will help the INTP develop their Extraverted Intuition.

Specific suggestions:

• Figure out how you feel about the other person. Do not falsely express love, or lead someone on with your ambivalence.
• Don't expect yourself to be a master at the "touchy-feely" game. Be yourself, but remember that there is a basic assumption of human decency that must be adhered to in relationships. If you're not sure what that means, take special care to observe how people in "good" committed relationships behave towards each other, so that you can determine where the lines are drawn.
• Pair yourself with an Extraverted Thinker (ESTJ or ENTJ) who is less likely to assume that the lack of feedback is the same thing as negative feedback.
• Realize and accept that for you a satisfying relationship will start with the head, and move on towards the heart.
• Expanding your world and experiences will expand your understanding of human expectations. Try to figure out the personality type of people that you know and encounter in your life.
• Take care to notice what people look like in different social situations. Notice their hair, makeup (or lack thereof), the condition of their clothes, their shoes, their facial expressions. Don't compare others to your own appearance, simply take notice of it.
• When having a conversation with a friend or relative, spend at least half of the time talking about them. Concentrate on really understanding where the person is coming from with their concerns. Ask questions.
• Think of the people who are closest to you. Remember that they have their own lives going on. Try to visualize what that person is doing, and imagine what kinds of things that person is thinking about. Don't pass judgement, just think about it.

source: Living Happily in our World as an INTP

Mind you, Lenore Thomson says ENTP is going to be the best option. So different systems.

That's why I mentioned ENTP and ENTJ... because both are Ns and statistics indicates that Ns pair up with other Ns. So I have to wonder when Beebe/socionics mentions pairing up with your shadow... INTPs shadow being the ESFJ. I can't imagine it to do being a non-bumpy ride. But then again Beebe's definition of the shadow is completely different than Meyer & Briggs.

 

[JocktheMotie]

INTPs what do you think of INFPs?

Meh.

The issue for me, has always been the role of emotion in life with F dom individuals. I generally get along better with people that have relegated emotion "to the bench." For it to be the primary way one considers the world...I find it personally tiring and I just want no part of it.

 

[Totenkindly]

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the INTP's natural partner is the ENTJ, or the ESTJ. The INTP's dominant function of Introverted Thinking is best matched with a partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted Thinking. The INTP/ENTJ match is ideal, because these types shared Intuition as a common way of perceiving the world, but INTP/ESTJ is also a good match. How did we arrive at this?

Well, I kind of asked you to explain. It's not as if I haven't seen this elsewhere; in fact I've already seen Personality Page and don't happen to agree with it. It doesn't bear out in experience, really.

One issue is that INTPs are notoriously "sit back and observe," and if you're an e9 INTP, you're also pretty antithetical in approach to a typical ETJ e8. One is aggressive/assertive, the other is "sit back and don't make waves." Only those who really feel comfortable in a complementary relationship will appreciate that dynamic. I went on a date with an ENTJ once and found him just too structured and pushy for me. You get a dominating type + a type that wants to maintain extreme independence.

The Te doms I am friends with typically have an understanding of how I work and vice versa, so we aren't as prone to misinterpret; but it's not something that is instinctive, it demands some life experience. So I wouldn't call those relationships a "best match" scenario, where you just instinctively click and understand each other; it's learned. Hence, other types are best matches.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

My ENTJ brother in law gets on well with his INTP wife.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Well, I kind of asked you to explain. It's not as if I haven't seen this elsewhere; in fact I've already seen Personality Page and don't happen to agree with it. It doesn't bear out in experience, really.

One issue is that INTPs are notoriously "sit back and observe," and if you're an e9 INTP, you're also pretty antithetical in approach to a typical ETJ e8. One is aggressive/assertive, the other is "sit back and don't make waves." Only those who really feel comfortable in a complementary relationship will appreciate that dynamic. I went on a date with an ENTJ once and found him just too structured and pushy for me. You get a dominating type + a type that wants to maintain extreme independence.

The Te doms I am friends with typically have an understanding of how I work and vice versa, so we aren't as prone to misinterpret; but it's not something that is instinctive, it demands some life experience. So I wouldn't call those relationships a "best match" scenario, where you just instinctively click and understand each other; it's learned. Hence, other types are best matches.

It does sound like that pairing could be the easiest for the Te-dom. Any pairing likely works in certain situations with specific individuals, but from my impression of INTPs, they do not respond well to external pressure, which is a natural form of communication and expectation for many Te-doms. I have found INTPs to shut down completely under pressure, almost to a point similar to mild autism. They certainly wouldn't take anything personally from a Te-dom, but avoidance would likely become the primary response. Te and Fe-doms can do well together because, strangely enough, the two functions can look similar to an introvert when interaction is based on externals. I think most INTPs would at least prefer an introvert, except for the ENTP, which I can see working very naturally with an INTP.

 

[JocktheMotie]

It does sound like that pairing could be the easiest for the Te-dom. Any pairing likely works in certain situations with specific individuals, but from my impression of INTPs, they do not respond well to external pressure, which is a natural form of communication and expectation for many Te-doms. I have found INTPs to shut down completely under pressure, almost to a point similar to mild autism. They certainly wouldn't take anything personally from a Te-dom, but avoidance would likely become the primary response. Te and Fe-doms can do well together because, strangely enough, the two functions can look similar to an introvert when interaction is based on externals. I think most INTPs would at least prefer an introvert, except for the ENTP, which I can see working very naturally with an INTP.

Conversely, I tend to only do things or function "best" when there's an external constraint, and as you say, Te doms are great sources of external pressure. However INTPs definitely will resist being "told" what to do, but if a Te dom treats their partner like a employee and tasks them with meaningless bullshit, that's a more fundamental issue than type.

ETJ + ITP can be great,however it definitely resembles the quintessential unstoppable force vs. immovable object. It's going to come down to an alignment of life goals and respect for the other's process.

I don't really know what the bolded means.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Conversely, I tend to only do things or function "best" when there's an external constraint, and as you say, Te doms are great sources of external pressure. However INTPs definitely will resist being "told" what to do, but if a Te dom treats their partner like a employee and tasks them with meaningless bullshit, that's a more fundamental issue than type.

I don't really know what the bolded means.

The INTPs I lived with for 20 years would often shut own under pressure. They needed a lot of space to work out ideas inside their own head. External sensory, emotional, or even structured timeframe pressures never seemed helpful. I teach some people with high-functioning autism, and they tend to have hyper focus on ideas to the point of brilliance, but cannot tolerate distraction. I've observed intense Ti-doms functioning in a similar way. Constant nagging and pressure would be the worst possible idea for any of the above mentioned people. On some level I've only seen extroverts respond positively to external pressure. It actually burns me out also, but for different reasons than what I've observed in the INTP.

I don't claim to describe a statistically significant portion of INTPs, but it is consistent in my experience and observation, so that's all I have to go on when making the post.

 

[Totenkindly]

Well, it kind of depends on the INTP, but I'll say there is a tendency to "pull into one's head" if one feels assaulted from the outside with no good way to just leave . It's a turtle move -- basically getting away from a force that isn't escapable for some reason.

Pressure/Nagging doesn't tend to do much for me except make me REALLY stress and/or have to withdraw completely to get away from it and focus. So as far as that goes, I get what you are saying.

 

[JocktheMotie]

The INTPs I lived with for 20 years would often shut own under pressure. They needed a lot of space to work out ideas inside their own head. External sensory, emotional, or even structured timeframe pressures never seemed helpful. I teach some people with high-functioning autism, and they tend to have hyper focus on ideas to the point of brilliance, but cannot tolerate distraction. I've observed intense Ti-doms functioning in a similar way. Constant nagging and pressure would be the worst possible idea for any of the above mentioned people. On some level I've only seen extroverts respond positively to external pressure. It actually burns me out also, but for different reasons than what I've observed in the INTP.

I don't claim to describe a statistically significant portion of INTPs, but it is consistent in my experience and observation, so that's all I have to go on when making the post.

I would argue nobody functions well under something like the bolded, but especially INTPs since the 5s particularly will resist the constant requirement of their energy and attention being demanded. The INTP can't always be "on the hook" or on call, and the fuse to the INTP patience will run out faster than most if that's the case. The INTPs response to constant nagging or pressure is going to be withdrawal and frustration, resentment, and ultimately they're just going to resist even more.

I'm someone who needs a lot of unstructured time. Essentially, you can't schedule my free time (which is what a Te dom will naturally try to do because it makes the most sense to them when you say "I need more alone time") since I'll resist it and it won't feel free, so what works for me is letting me know when I'll be needed or what will be needed ahead of time and ultimately leaving it to me to decide when and how I do it.

 

[great_bay]

Well, I kind of asked you to explain. It's not as if I haven't seen this elsewhere; in fact I've already seen Personality Page and don't happen to agree with it. It doesn't bear out in experience, really.

One issue is that INTPs are notoriously "sit back and observe," and if you're an e9 INTP, you're also pretty antithetical in approach to a typical ETJ e8. One is aggressive/assertive, the other is "sit back and don't make waves." Only those who really feel comfortable in a complementary relationship will appreciate that dynamic. I went on a date with an ENTJ once and found him just too structured and pushy for me. You get a dominating type + a type that wants to maintain extreme independence.

The Te doms I am friends with typically have an understanding of how I work and vice versa, so we aren't as prone to misinterpret; but it's not something that is instinctive, it demands some life experience. So I wouldn't call those relationships a "best match" scenario, where you just instinctively click and understand each other; it's learned. Hence, other types are best matches.

Extroverted thinking and introverted thinking do share one common reason why is pairing is suppose to be ideal. Te and Ti are both concerned with logical reasoning.

Empirical thinking is at the core of extraverted Thinking when we challenge someone's ideas based on the logic of the facts in front of us or lay out reasonable explanations for decisions or conclusions made, often trying to establish order in someone else's thought process.In written or verbal communication, extraverted Thinking helps us easily follow someone else's logic, sequence, or organization.It also helps us notice when something is missing, like when someone says he or she is going to talk about four topics and talks about only three.In general, it allows us to compartmentalize many aspects of our lives so we can do what is necessary to accomplish our objectives.

Extraverted Thinking (Te)
Introverted Thinking often involves finding just the right word to clearly express an idea concisely, crisply, and to the point.

Using introverted Thinking is like having an internal sense of the essential qualities of something, noticing the fine distinctions that make it what it is and then naming it.It also involves an internal reasoning process of deriving subcategories of classes and sub-principles of general principles. These can then be used in problem solving, analysis, and refining of a product or an idea.This process is evidenced in behaviors like taking things or ideas apart to figure out how they work.The analysis involves looking at different sides of an issue and seeing where there is inconsistency.
In so doing, we search for a "leverage point" that will fix problems with the least amount of effort or damage to the system.
We engage in this process when we notice logical inconsistencies between statements and frameworks, using a model to evaluate the likely accuracy of what's observed.

.

Introverted Thinking - (Ti)
Extroverted thinking as you saw in the description two posts above is concerned with challenging facts or the logic in front of us. Introverted thinking is concerned with logical inconsistency with statements. Te and Ti are concerned with logical reasoning which is why they share similar worlds. This is the best pairing. Why wouldn't want to get themselves a delightful ESTJ?

 

[Mileva]

I think most INTPs would at least prefer an introvert, except for the ENTP, which I can see working very naturally with an INTP.

I am an INTP, but I think I'm ambivert so if i am with other INTP's I wil be the ENTP in comparison. I have a well-functioning Fe, my best friend is an ENFP and we go crazy together. People say and notice that I have a very high self-confidence that makes me sound like an ENTP i'm always confusing people with my debates and I'm very good at making jokes and express myself. But on tests and stuff like that I always become an Introvert always INTP every time. I have good social developed skills, but I prefer to be alone and working independently. People see me as a extravert, but they see that I'm not socially addicted. I'm 100% Intuitive and 68% thinking according to the tests, when I read about the INTP in general I recognize myself clearly in those descriptions, but I feel i could be an ENTP too. When i'm with extraverted people I'm Introverted but the other way around I'm Extravert, I had a boyfriend which is clearly an INTP, and with him I will be an ENTP, so we fitted quite good. The thing is that I hate selfconfident extraverted boys, I love the Introverted ones, will that be an opposite for me or the same type im atracted to?

I'm very selfconfident, seldom scared, talkative, highly sharpminded, I beat people in debates even adults and authority-people, I can be very rebellious and daring, whats my problem am I an I or E?