[NT] NTs, how do you deal with Reality...

[indigo2020]

Since Se is my weakest function I think I am qualified to answer this question.

I say a person's name in my head or outloud over and over. I ask how to spell it b/c that helps me. I can "see" the name in my head. I do not remember dates well at all. I have always hated history for that reason.

I am always stubbing my toes, hitting my leg or hip on chairs and tables, banging my head on things when I stand up suddenly and whack it on a counter or something. I used to hit my head on a tree branch in my yeard repeatedly (until the tree was trimmed). I don't seem to be improving much if at all in this arena.

 

[BlackMita]

I do my best to remember dates and the like until I can get them down on a word file I check everyday. Names I don’t really bother with – I’ll eventually catch on to the names of people who matter, otherwise I’m always able to talk to them without using their name. It’s kind of the same deal with locations. I won’t remember street names, or unit numbers, just where to go, or how to get there relative to some other landmark.

I’m alright when I have to do something tedious or attentive to detail, although I have to resist breaking into daydreams and droning through the motions, as I can make crucial mistakes then. Stubbed toes I try to look at positively… as an omen of how much a hate stupid, fat, hard furniture and objects. Nothing inanimate has the courtesy to dematerialize before I collide with it, which is a shame.

 

[Wolf]

Names are a problem for me, it takes a lot of intense effort.

Face recognition isn't too bad, but I can't even remember exactly how people I've known all my life look (like my dad). I have nothing but random images of each person in my memory.

I don't know what day it is most days without checking a calendar or the computer. I usually recall what day of the week it is, but I've been known to forget that as well (it happened again just this week).

I'm not terribly clumsy, but I can't dance, and my worst grades were always in PE.

I can remember the floor plan, the furniture layout, and routes to nearly every structure I've ever entered. I also remember things like IP addresses and online aliases with ease. I can sometimes identify people online by their patterns, even if they're using a different alias.

 

[Natrushka]

Face recognition isn't too bad, but I can't even remember exactly how people I've known all my life look (like my dad). I have nothing but random images of each person in my memory.

I can recognize people if I see them if they wear the same clothing. Say people in uniform that you see from time to time. Or, bringing back my youth, people you meet in bars and at clubs. If I see the water delivery guys or the mailman in street clothing, or that cute guy from a week ago wearing something different, then I'm lost. I kind of think I may know them, but meh, who knows.

 

[Wolf]

I remember weird aspects of appearance that allows me to identify people. I'm better than some people that do that and see people of other races as all looking the same because they have no clue which features to use for identification...

 

[Il Morto Qui Parla]

I'm not dealing well with reality. I think I'm having trouble facing it in fact. I can make sense of the world in my head, but the external world doesn't want to know. I don't blame it really. Everyone's fighting a war day to day against people who should be their friends in the name of people who should be their enemy, you or me, us or them, they don't have time for "what if's", it's just "keep your head above water". And history repeats itself with every generation. As WB Yeats said:

The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

 

[OK Radio]

I do not remember names and dates easily, which is why history and geography are my worst subjects.

In daily life, I write down dates to remember and simply ask a name of someone I forget. I have no shame about saying, "I remember you, but I forget your name." Generally, most people are flattered at being remembered even if I easily forgot their names.

As for the stubbed toes, I immediately forget every bruise and bump unless it's something worthy of remembering. Cracking a shin against the coffee table is unremarkable, and I do end up with unexplained bruises, but I realize I must have done something to leave a mark. It is just that I don't think it important enough to note if it's a matter of easily and inevitably healing.

 

[Opivy1980]

If I don't remember someone's name I tell them and ask them what it is.

Clumsiness and other real world problems I just deal with I don't buy anything that is easy to break if dropped.

Dates I just remember if I deem them important otherwise I don't care.

 

[SolitaryWalker]

I think that NFs would probably have more everyday problems than NTs, as there are a lot more situations where you're better off making impersonal judgments rather than personal.

I realize that I shall be informed by NFs that they hardly ever make impersonal judgments and don't understand what they are for and that logic is a sorry business.

Ok, the obvious retort to that is that I almost always make impersonal judgments and my superficial impression is what good are personal judgments?

To answer my own question--the human element. I make impersonal judgments about everything, even the human element. It works just fine for me everywhere besides there, but I know I'd be better off if I learned to apply personal judgments to the human element in my life.

What do you need impersonal judgments for?

Figure out what you want to do with your life, irrespectively of what the people in your life want. Figure out what career you want for yourself. Figure out how the world really works. It is Thinking that makes us appreciate the basic laws of physics, like the cause and effect. An NF shall interject here and say, but doesnt everybody who is curious naturally want to figure out the world? Oh sure, there are plenty of NFs with great imaginations theorizing about how things are, but they will never get sound answers untill they learn to appreciate logic. Otherwise they could just too easily befool themselves into believing that whatever they want to be true is true.

In short, you need to develop thinking in order to understand how the world works. Even on the basic level, NFs who dont have a strong T will have erroneous beliefs about how the world is. Seeing a clear picture of what you're dealing with is very important on the daily basis. As for the OP, concerning the problem of how to deal with the real world, I think NFs got the short-end of the stick here. We as Thinkers, and INTP as dominant Thinkers actually can be pragmatic and accept the truth about the world for what it is, irrespectively of how we or anybody we know feels about it. Yet NFs probably wont. And for good reasons are they deemed notorious for living in the la la land, wishful thinking and fantasy.

*An example of NF inability to see the world for what it is could be as follows: A T talks about how the Mexican immigrants are getting deported because they break the law. And the NF responds, wow, thats so sad, we think that we are better than the Mexicans in a very hyped tone.

Or how about this..when I make a ranking list with INTPs being on top...and ESFJ being on the bottom...they dont understand that simply in this activity..according to my impersonal reasoning it turned out that INTPs tend to be the most proficient and ESFJ the least...it has nothing to do with how I feel about people...or what anybody else wants...it has nothing to do with my tastes and prejudices..yet they automatically assume that just because I have a list where INTP is 1 and ESFJ is 16...I have something against ESFJs...'Why dont you make a list where ESFJ is first'...WTF....I didnt plan on making a list where ESFJ is last...it wasnt a personal attack on them... I was just thinking about the subject where it later turned out that the ESFJ is last...if I was thinking about something where the ESFJ was number one...I'd still make the list and no...this wouldnt mean that I now like ESFJs as opposed to that I am indifferent..

Or how about even a more pertinent example...I write an SJ/ESFJ rant in the graveyard just for the laughs and NFs automatically assume that I have a problem with all SJs...no...this has nothing to do with my feelings...it was entirely impersonal..or moreover..that I of course have a problem with the only ESFJ on board...for the last time no....there is no Feeling element to my writings...the decision to make the thread was made only based on what I thought made sense..it had nothing to do with how I feel or how it may make others feel...


And no...for example...when you get excluded from a group...it isnt personal...it isnt necessarily because there is something wrong with you... there is a rational explanation for everything...

Another great example of F mythology is how for instance people die in the world not because solely due to some law in nature they caught a disease and went out...but because it was something personal..you've made God angry and he punished you for your sins...while acting out only on his feelings and not thinking at all about what made sense...

Sorry about the minor digression...my point is that NTs arent that far down the loop when it comes to being disconnected with reality..NFs are far more unrealistic and logic isnt a sorry business.. Only through logic can we have reliable knowledge of how the world is..not Intuitions and Feelings..

 

[alex]

I'm not usually too sensitive to pain. Sometimes don't notice the three-inch-long cut until it starts dripping blood...and then it still doesn't really hurt.

I agree. I don't bruise easily, but last week after lunch I kept wondering why I was uncomfortable "plopping" into my seat at work, then the next day noticed a softball-sized bruise behind my thigh. Not sure if I'm too busy, too focused or really just don't care unless a limb's on the ground or I have a sucking chest wound.

 

[alex]

It was hammered into me very painfully at a 4-year military school. I have an almost fear-like reaction when I forget to do something that is required. Very effective brainwashing that gave me a moderately strong artificial J ... which kicks in when I need it (and even when I don't).

Speaking of the military, I think there was no better place for others to bluntly tell me where my strong INTJ preferences and tendencies were in major contradiction to reality. Hence a steep learning curve, or brainwashing, as you mention, to neutralize my tendencies.

But then again, the effect has been to neutralize everything at work and then come home to be rebellious, or myself. My husband loves this...NOT.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Let's face it. Our Sensing function usually doesn't get any development until our 30s, at the earliest.

How do you deal with the real world of names, dates, and stubbed toes?

Until recently, I have postponed doing my taxes until the latest moment possible, because of the anxiety of browsing thru my unsorted files of papers.

I forget peoples names, and I try to balance it by kindly and friendly asking them to remind them of them names when I meet them the second time.

I forgot appointments so that I try to minimize the number of them. Then I call up someone when I want to meet him/her.

I used to use a calendar to mark up my appointments. I forgot to open the calendar for a week, sometimes, so I forgot my appointments anyway.

I used to put my things-to-do on my computer desktop to remind me of them. Then I started to just mentally ignore what I was seeing in front of my eyes.

I tried to mark my appointments on my cell phone calendar to remind me, but writing them up was so tedious and the view of the events was so bad, that I gave up. I instead tried to continue memorize everything.

Now I have a bulletin board where I can attach notes for myself. It seems to work for me, for the time being.

 

[BÃ¥rris]

I suck at names. As for dates, that depends on what you mean by it. I have never dated (I'm 16). People are just way too shallow. If you mean dates as in a specific day, they dissappear for me until just in time to get it done.

Stubbed toes D: I've fucked up two toenails, and even lost them on some occasions (I walk fast).

 

[Verfremdungseffekt]

Generally I ignore it.

 

[InsatiableCuriosity]

Names...I try to talk to the person in a fashion where using their name is unnecessary. Dates...I don't know.

Stubbed toes generally involve me insulting myself/swearing under my breath until it stops hurting.

I also do this while I go through the alphabet in my brain for a series of letter combinations that sound right and I can associate with the face. In class I keep pictures of students with their names in my roll because with on average 80-100 students it can take me all semester to remember any but the distinguished students (best AND worst! LOL)

I keep dates and times on my iPhone and Google Calendar - too easy to get distracted and forget otherwise.

 

[fill]

Let's face it. Our Sensing function usually doesn't get any development until our 30s, at the earliest.

How do you deal with the real world of names, dates, and stubbed toes?

I'm 19, so let's see: I can get around remembering names; just remember there's a method to getting people to say their name after they've already told you.

Dates? Like remembering deadlines or going on a date? Deadlines are easy– I know I'll forget something, so I'll stop and repeat in my head what needs to be done tomorrow many times a day. I don't set times to do them, but I have my list, which is usually good enough.

Dating? I find dating lame. I love taking girls out to dinner or a movie, but I can't think of the last time I simply presented to a girl as someone that likes them and wants to "go on a date." I'm probably not mature enough to do that, actually. I'd rather just hang out with a girl I've hung out with before and realize the "something" there, and see what happens. I'm in college. C'mon.

Stubbed toes? Funny you should say that as it happened to me playing soccer yesterday. And I'm so out of shape that my legs are killing to me. Stairs didn't help either. I don't like physical pain, but I do like the feeling of working out or exercising. I've been doing this lately: instead of taking a walk outside to think about the things that trouble me, I tend to get up and play basketball or soccer. I have learned that if I feel physically accomplished, I have more of a reason to do more activities that involve heavy thinking and creativity.

 

[Tecla]

I've noticed lately that I'm in a perpetual state of brain dumping information that I don't seek out. The second I hear a name, gone; get told to do something in detail, I have to piece together what it is I'm suppose to do; give me a list of tasks, I'll finish the last thing said and forget the rest. This is trouble some at my job, and Aircraft mechanic, which usually means someone double checks me and points out all the little things I did wrong or forgot to do.

Also, I'm terrible with dates. I forget just about every holiday, birthday, or any other significant date for that matter. The only thing I tend to remember are when my bills are due, or an important deadline, which I tend to dwell on.

I do have a high tolerance for pain. Like other have said, I notice cuts and bruises and have no idea where they come from. When my body is experience pain I tend to analyze what exactly I'm feeling, tell myself that it's just my bodies reaction, then shrug it off. No joke, about 8 months ago I got stabbed in and out my arm, into my side, puncturing my lung. It wasn't until someone pointed out to me that I was bleeding that I realized what happened. I actually kind of enjoy pain, so I might just be weird in that sense.

 

[Aleksei]

Let's face it. Our Sensing function usually doesn't get any development until our 30s, at the earliest.

Why would this be necessarily the case? ENTJs and INTPs are S-tertiary. My own tertiary has been highly developed since my late teens, I assume other very intelligent people have that capacity as well.

 

[Amethyst]

What's reality?
I can't remember names for the life of me. I forgot my boss' name the other day, and I knew her for a while.
I don't like deadlines. They give me nightmares, although lately they have been giving me a wonderful sleep pattern which for some reason I'm breaking tonight.
I don't believe in dating at my age, or for myself at any age. If I date, I date to get things from other people. Yes, heartless I know, but really? I don't understand how people can trust others so easily and give themselves up for someone they might not even truly know. Plus, I have never dated, because I'm not actually that heartless just to use someone. My overwhelming Fe keeps me at bay.
And as for pain? Usually I ignore it, I'll make a comment about it maybe, because I won't realize it until after a while, like 'Oh hey, my head's bleeding. Cool.' Although this terrible, yet shiny burn on my legs has been irksome.

 

[Mempy]

How do I deal with reality? I shove it down my own throat with a pipe, like they used to load those old guns with gun powder... and then I become depressed.

But really, apparently I've always been a little--blind? or hyperfocused?--to reality. I've been in more car accidents than is probably "normal." I've wondered if I'm ADD. On the whole, though, as far as living life goes, I do fairly well.

I don't know the trick to remembering names or dates. I've been able to remember eight people's names and faces in a row before and rattle them off at will later in the night, to their astonishment, but I forget how I did that. It's probably just wanting enough to remember--seeing the importance of it in making people feel good--and then just rehearsing and repeating the names a little in your mind directly after being introduced, then a few times again throughout the night. It's a memory trick, not a magic trick. And not even a trick.