[INTJ] Why would an INTJ ignore you?

[Hapyniss]

Met an INTJ and we clicked really fast. Intense connection, which he conveyed to me once in a message. We're both sx/so, which is why I suspect it was intense. He came on really strong, which I reciprocated back. Then, he cools off. I don't like that he goes from talking to me nonstop, to not talking to me anymore... at all. He conveyed to me he wants to date (we don't live in the same state).

I haven't heard from him in a while. I asked him not long ago that I noticed him starting to distance away, I asked him flat out if he's no longer interested in me anymore, just be direct and tell me now, I'll be fine. He told me he's just been really busy and stressed out. I am now panicking that I did something wrong and he's not being direct with me.

I actually gave him 3 opportunities to break it off with me and tell me if he's not interested anymore, or if he's seeing someone else and he doesn't feel right talking to me, to just let me know and let me go right now. I told him I don't play games, I'm direct and expect the same in return. He assured me each time it's not the case, he said he has no ill feelings toward me and it's not that he's not interested anymore.

I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that someone can go from talking to you all the time, to not talking to you at all - how on earth could you still be interested in someone?

Have you given him proper time to process? Remember he's a NT not NF - so he internalizes his feelings and has a difficult time expressing what he's feeling while he's feeling. Once he processes what he feels, he will draw a conclusion. If he shares this conclusion with you, then you can bank on that until he says it has changed. Instead of communicating to him by assuming he's not interested and then asking him if this is true...just tell him what you want or need. INTJ's operate from a place of action rather than emotion. I speak to mine in this way...Honey, I would like to spend some time with you. I just simply state what I want...he then takes the reigns and does a great job of meeting that need. Or I'll say, "I'm feeling concerned about how much time has past since we've last spoken. I understand your need for space and want to ensure you're getting that need met. I also have a need and this is it...._______." And then watch what happens. If he responds rather quickly, he's definitely interested. But if you continue to make an INTJ repeat themselves they may end of deeming you retarded monkey fodder that cannot be taught anything rational...so off he will go.

Hope this helps

Fellow ENFP

 

[Hapyniss]

Did you exchange pictures and then he started distancing himself?

Lawd! I laughed so damn hard at this.