I'm looking for some opinions on my situation with my INTJ friend. Especially from any INTJs.
He (B) and I have known each other for about 5 years, and are very close. We have been best friends for about 3 years. We've spoken a few times over the years about having feelings for each other, but for various reasons (long distance, not being totally sure about our feelings, I had a boyfriend, etc) nothing ever happened. We have a very intimate relationship though.
B recently got a girlfriend, the first in the time that I've known him, and soon after they started going out, my boyfriend and I broke up. A couple of times since then we slept in the same bed (not out of necessity) and he was very cuddly, holding me all night, and stroking my hair. I also had recently come to the conclusion that I really did have strong feelings for him romantically, and so after these couple of nights, I decided to talk to him about our relationship.
I told him how I felt, and said that I felt he was sending me mixed signals by being so physically close to me, while he has a girlfriend. He agreed, and said he was very confused and would think about what he wanted.
About a month later (we had both been very busy in the mean time) B said he wanted to stay with his current girlfriend and he should put better boundaries in place for our friendship. He said he liked that things had progressed slowly and steadily with her and that he was very happy with her. However, he also said (during that conversation, as well as saying similar things since then) that watching TV in bed with me and holding me is his idea of "heaven", that I mean the world to him, and that if he sees me lots and spends time alone with me it stirs up feelings. He also said that if we got together and then broke up and he lost me, it would be devastating, whereas if he broke up with his current girlfriend he wouldn't have a lot to lose.
My issue is this: as an INFJ (or perhaps just as me, I don't know if all Fs would feel this way) to me it sounds like he isn't that fussed about his girlfriend (although he is happy and comfortable with her) but feels very strongly about me, and if that's the case I can't understand why he would choose her over me. I know he is scared of things going wrong between us, but it's making me terribly sad that he says all these effusive things to me (and he is VERY rarely that effusive!) and makes me feel like he adores me, but still wants to stay with this other woman.
Can any INTJs shed light on his behaviour and maybe let me know whether you think he might change his mind, or whether he's likely to just stay with this girl and ignore any feelings for me?
(Disclaimer: I do not want to hurt anyone in this situation and I want him to be happy. But it is his behaviour that is making me question things.)