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  1. #11
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nonchalant View Post
    I don't get what they're thinking all the time.
    They tend to be so private with their thoughts and only want to share what they want you to know and they hide the rest. They aren't transparent at all and that's what makes them so mysterious, enigmatic, and hard to figure it out.

    I often have a hard time understanding what's on their mind, but not in a frustrating kind of way, but intriguing kind of way.
    Do you ask? Do you initiate conversations?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  2. #12
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    I think this is a trait seen in introverts as a whole. Honestly, I don't have much patience for the whole "enigmatic" persona. It's a putoff most of the time because I see it as needless hiding/protecting of onesself or resistance to speaking. Which is fine, there isn't a darn thing wrong with it. It's just not for me.
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
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    Socionics: β-E dimer | -
    Big 5: slOaI
    Temperament: Choleric/Melancholic
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari

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  3. #13
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I think this is a trait seen in introverts as a whole. Honestly, I don't have much patience for the whole "enigmatic" persona. It's a putoff most of the time because I see it as needless hiding/protecting of onesself or resistance to speaking. Which is fine, there isn't a darn thing wrong with it. It's just not for me.
    What do you advocate instead? Do you share your own personal information freely with others, however well or little you know them? Do you see no place for privacy or simple restraint in interpersonal sharing?

    For some of us, quality is much more important than quantity, and being very selective in sharing personal information serves as a valuable and even necessary filter.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
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  4. #14
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
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    @Hard believes very much in 'saying what you mean, and meaning what you say'. I totally agree with that idea. I can't stand it when people don't speak plainly, or are purposely cryptic.

    But there's a difference between plain-spoken and outspoken. I am plain-spoken, but I'm definitely not outspoken.
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  5. #15
    Senior Member great_bay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    I think this is a trait seen in introverts as a whole. Honestly, I don't have much patience for the whole "enigmatic" persona. It's a putoff most of the time because I see it as needless hiding/protecting of onesself or resistance to speaking. Which is fine, there isn't a darn thing wrong with it. It's just not for me.
    I can see from your viewpoint how it must be frustrating for extroverts losing their patience for introverts being opposing to socializing however, I don't feel comfortable with other people. I don't see it needless for extroverts surrounding themselves with people because they don't like being around alone.

  6. #16
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    What do you advocate instead? Do you share your own personal information freely with others, however well or little you know them? Do you see no place for privacy or simple restraint in interpersonal sharing?

    For some of us, quality is much more important than quantity, and being very selective in sharing personal information serves as a valuable and even necessary filter.
    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    @Hard believes very much in 'saying what you mean, and meaning what you say'. I totally agree with that idea. I can't stand it when people don't speak plainly, or are purposely cryptic.

    But there's a difference between plain-spoken and outspoken. I am plain-spoken, but I'm definitely not outspoken.
    Quote Originally Posted by great_bay View Post
    I can see from your viewpoint how it must be frustrating for extroverts losing their patience for introverts being opposing to socializing however, I don't feel comfortable with other people. I don't see it needless for extroverts surrounding themselves with people because they don't like being around alone.

    What BadOctopus said. What truly bothers me is people being needlessly crypic, indirect, and metaphorical with their speaking, communicating, and sharing. But being heavily taciturn bothers me as well.

    I want to make clear that there isn't anything wrong with being enigmatic, reserved, and related (unless the person is doing it to annoy, bother, or harm others with intention). It's just something that I have a difficult time with. My primary method of connecting with someone, getting to know them, and forging some sort of relationship (friendship, professional, etc.) is through conversation. I'm pretty candid and share quite a bit about myself with others if they see to take some sort of interest. If others don't like it then I ease back. I won't really get it (I mean, I get it, but I don't "get" it), but I let it go. Lack of talking and communicating ones thoughts is just frustrating and an alien concept to me. As I said, I totally respect and understand this in others. I just simply don't relate.

    What really gets to me though is when requested to be clear, honest, or straightforward because there is an inability to understand them, and the individual refuses. I put a ton of effort into communication (granted it's largely automatic at this point), and I feel others should honor that. If I don't have to be around the person I'll leave them be and that will be the end of it. If I have to interact and or work with them though, there is going to be problems.

    Interestingly, even though I am an extrovert I am fine with being alone. It doesn't consciously bother me at all, but it does unconsciously. I've learned over the years though that it does get to me somewhat quickly and can be rather problematic (at this point I can see the effects of it in myself. Before I couldn't).
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
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    Big 5: slOaI
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    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    External Perception: Nohari and Johari

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  7. #17
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Communication gets me down.

    It's never accurate enough and there is always an unnecessary level of misunderstanding. No wonder some people prefer silence.

    After all what is really happening is the transformation of the experience of being you into language. But if people aren't ready or willing to hear you then what is the fucking point.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  8. #18
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    I thought that they were just poor at communication with others and that they dont practice structured internal communication/dialogue much either, but some Ni extra jumbo mumbo jumbo and Fi shit. But seriously, who knows whats going on in INTJs head? And i think its best if we never knew, because truth isnt easy to handle most the times.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  9. #19
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    What BadOctopus said. What truly bothers me is people being needlessly crypic, indirect, and metaphorical with their speaking, communicating, and sharing. But being heavily taciturn bothers me as well.
    I suppose it then comes down to your definition of "needless". Sometimes my idea can only or best be explained through metaphor. I can and will attempt a more straightforward approach, but so much is lost in translation, it almost isn't the original idea any longer. I tend to reserve being deliberately cryptic, indirect, or enigmatic for cases when someone is being obnoxious, pushy, just won't take "no" for an answer; or cases where an outright "no" might be too risky, but I need to steer the other person away from a certain topic or line of questioning a bit more . . . indirectly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    What really gets to me though is when requested to be clear, honest, or straightforward because there is an inability to understand them, and the individual refuses. I put a ton of effort into communication (granted it's largely automatic at this point), and I feel others should honor that. If I don't have to be around the person I'll leave them be and that will be the end of it. If I have to interact and or work with them though, there is going to be problems.
    I prefer clear and straightforward communication as well, when I have something to say to someone, and they have something to say to me. I guess if we don't, there's no need to be communicating to begin with.

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    I thought that they were just poor at communication with others and that they dont practice structured internal communication/dialogue much either, but some Ni extra jumbo mumbo jumbo and Fi shit. But seriously, who knows whats going on in INTJs head? And i think its best if we never knew, because truth isnt easy to handle most the times.
    Sometimes when someone asks me what I am thinking, the most honest response I could give is "you don't really want to know."
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
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  10. #20
    Suave y Fuerte BadOctopus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Sometimes when someone asks me what I am thinking, the most honest response I could give is "you don't really want to know."
    This. If you want to know what an INTJ is thinking, all you have to do is ask. But you might not like the answer.

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