No, no! Not feelings, *bucket of feelings gets thrown on me and I melt onto the ground*, "I'm melting, I'm melting."
Okay, so now that thats out of my system. My feels. I don't want my feels. They just need to leave me alone, I hate feeling overly sensitive, and emotional, but after being depressed I know I can't just numb them away with avoidance, thats not an appropriate technique to use. *feels like a teacher is disapprovingly lecturing the emotionally tormented child with in me*
So I'll be open and honest. And rant, okay people probably don't want to hear my rambles, but here goes:
Ok I'm pissed at my friend. Okay I'm not pissed at him I love him, but he's pissing me off. He's cool now and accepting of me, but I desperately need to talk with my friend. Regardless of my feelings for him, its been over two months since I talked in person/skyped with either of my two best friends. And out of those two only one really knows me for me, and he's currently too busy to skype...or even chat for longer than 5 min on FB messenger... after I sent him a 3 page coming out letter-email... a month ago, and only heard back last week.
Gah. Its killing me just letting this boil and stew, I hate feeling so isolated. I just want to talk to him. I'm going through a rough time abroad right now and for safety reasons I'm having to stay closeted. He knows that I'm having a hard time, and I know he's obviously busy with work, but is 20 min skype conversation with your best friend who you haven't talked to in months too much to ask for?
If any one wants to comment or chat I'm just moody and feeling abandoned/isolated so ... yeah.... I'll stop my rambles now. thanks for reading.