[NT] On Social Camouflage

[Provoker]

I have all of the characteristics of a human being: flesh, a beating heart, a proportional figure and a working brain although I have no single identifiable emotion. I grew up in a household where emotions are a sign of weakness. True, I have been known to lose control sometimes in a surge of aggression that resulted in me bottling someone but after a second I was back to my neutral temperament. I do not have a pang of conscience. I have read about it in books and even seen it in Hollywood movies but I do not know of such things from personal experience. The alleged 'prick of conscience' is something alien to me. Over the last few years I've spent time reading and studying a lot and developing my intellectual side. It would not be out of the ordinary for someone to call me 'genius' although I'm too modest to ever squeeze myself into the genius elevator with Einstein and Picasso already in there which is clearly going up. Suffice it to say that my 'uniqueness' has resulted in a certain level of isolationism - I have become rather reclusive over the last three years in particular. However, I have made an honest effort to fit in better via 'social camouflage'. To all you elitists, geniuses, eccentrics, or odd-balls: what do you do to camouflage your abilities when the situation calls for it? Like Nietzsche's Zarathustra, I've been up in the mountain in solitude for a really long time and I'd like to come down to the village to play. Zarathustra would like to become a man again...what do you guys do to get back in touch with the human side?

 

[murkrow]

Why?!

 

[Colors]

I don't know. Wouldn't you have to be able to grasp simple concepts of social interaction to be considered an almost genius? Or are we almost calling you a genius only in certain areas?

Simple social interaction isn't that hard. It follows rules, just as much as anything else. There's a code, a pattern, etc.

Depends on the eccentricities you want to hide. I don't really want to hide my own eccentricities. It doesn't bring along the meaningful interaction that is satisfying in my life.

So, what is it you want to hide? A stuttering problem? A worship of Xenu?

 

[Provoker]

I don't know. Wouldn't you have to be able to grasp simple concepts of social interaction to be considered an almost genius? Or are we almost calling you a genius only in certain areas?

I'm not even going to respond to this because it is missing the big picture and if you've studied even a few historic geniuses you'd know they have tended to have social and emotional issues.

So, what is it you want to hide? A stuttering problem? A worship of Xenu?

lol...No, again, these are sensor things and very literal I might add. My issues are more abstract. Intensity, dissonance in conversation with certain people, and whatever else you guys have.

 

[Decon]

I actually have social camouflage. When I do go out with others, I keep to myself. But that's only people I barely know. When I'm with friends, I'll be myself in my weird and sarcastic way and people like it. And since I've tested as many things, I have the ability to reach across many lines to connect with people. But then again, I've had that ability for as long as I can remember. But I think it helps. So a good way to start a convo with people is to work on your E side by asking people about things you both see. I find this works really where like Art shows and Concerts. I hope this helps.

 

[Colors]

lol...No, again, these are sensor things and very literal I might add. My issues are more abstract. Intensity, dissonance in conversation with certain people, and whatever else you guys have.

It's a joke. There needs to be a joke smilie or something. These internet stuffs are impossible.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that your question to "hide" your social eccentricities is sort of ... missing the point. What is there to gain in hiding? Sure maybe a little acceptance and companionship, but you'll be "camouflaged" as in your own words- so you won't be appreciated for your own true colors. That kind of acceptance isn't really... complete.

When I'm with friends, I'll be myself in my weird and sarcastic way and people like it.

See, good example. Restructuring/rephrasing. It's not what you say... certainly you would probably appreciate someone appreciating your commentary on the world... it's how to say it which builds a back-and-forth conversation.

 

[Night]

I have all of the characteristics of a human being...

I've also seen American Psycho...
Read the novel.

Are you offering legitimate insight, or is it a reflection of the pop ideology presented in the movie?

 

[DigitalMethod]

So your saying the issue to solve here is... you want friends?

Just be yourself, be truthful.

 

[Economica]

It would not be out of the ordinary for someone to call me 'genius' although I'm too modest to ever squeeze myself into the genius elevator with Einstein and Picasso already in there which is clearly going up.

Too modest to call yourself a genius but not too modest to mention that it would not be out of the ordinary for someone to call you a genius - right, I remember that phase, uh, level of modesty.

Suffice it to say that my 'uniqueness' has resulted in a certain level of isolationism - I have become rather reclusive over the last three years in particular.

Let me guess... This would be since you entered puberty?

The good news is you'll grow out of it eventually. In the meantime, read Ayn Rand's novels. It sounds like it can't hurt but only help at this point.

 

[Metamorphosis]

intellectual genius != social retard
We see this a lot, though.

 

[Night]

intellectual genius != social retard
We see this a lot, though.

I don't think the first variable of your axiom applies to Provoker.

 

[alicia91]

So do you want to CHANGE your behavior and improve your social skills so you fit in, or you simply want to BE YOURSELF? If it's the first I would suggest seeing a therapist for some social skills work or perhaps a life coach. If it's the latter, it might be more effective to seek out other oddballs and connect with them rather than trying to hide your real self.

I think it's extremely presumptuous of you to suggest that the reason that you don't have these skills is because you are so smart, so abstract, etc. Social skills are just another behavior to learn, either directly or through modelling. Obviously you have spent time developing your intellectual side, and haven't focused enough on the social part.

 

[Provoker]

I've also seen American Psycho...
Read the novel.

Are you offering legitimate insight, or is it a reflection of the pop ideology presented in the movie?

It doesn't matter. Answer my questions in a meaningful way or stay silent.

I think it's extremely presumptuous of you to suggest that the reason that you don't have these skills is because you are so smart, so abstract, etc. .

I never said that my intelligence was the cause of social isolationism - you've invented this cause yourself although I think it plays a role.

 

[Night]

It doesn't matter. Answer my questions or stay silent. In thie case, you've done neither.

Don't be unoriginal if you dislike dissent.

You ask for insight. There you go.

 

[Provoker]

Don't be unoriginal if you dislike dissent.

You ask for insight. There you go.

I asked a question. Presumably your answer would in some way address the main question of the thread. What you've done is added unnecessary input which you're entitled to it just doesn't add value to the thread :s

Are you offering legitimate insight, or is it a reflection of the pop ideology presented in the movie?

This seems to be an ordinary tendency of S-types to dichotomize everything and invent false choices. I've merely used the movie and book as tools to frame the issue. Whether my situation is genuine or whether I am speaking through the guise of Zarathustra is of no consequence. People like this do exist period. Having said that, this thread is directed toward a dialogue of contemplating solutions.

 

[pardo]

If you want to be with common people, I'd suggest beer. That's what I did, anyway. I used to drink a beer or two in advance, when I had to go out with people or girls. It made miracles! My isolation period was ~8 years (16-24). With time you can (re)learn to do a bit of small talk and appreciate some worldly pleasures. Don't expect to become a "cool dude" overnight, though...

 

[alicia91]

I never said that my intelligence was the cause of social isolationism - you've invented this cause yourself although I think it plays a role.

Well, you certainly suggested it with this:

It would not be out of the ordinary for someone to call me 'genius' although I'm too modest to ever squeeze myself into the genius elevator with Einstein and Picasso already in there which is clearly going up

But your statements about lacking a concience and wanting to be more human is very disturbing. But at least it's a first step that you acknowledge it. Do you think that you might have a condition such as BPD or are you just being a bit dramatic? If it's the latter, than Pardo's suggestion about beer and small talk make sense.

 

[Uytuun]

Maybe he's just...provoking.

 

[Provoker]

Maybe he's just...provoking.

lol ^^

 

[substitute]

Let your eccentricities show, they will only identify and endear you to like minds. And often to unlike minds, too.

Unless the eccentricities in question are selfishness, inconsideration and extreme vanity and arrogance. Cos then even if you meet like minds, they won't appreciate it. They like to dish it out but can't handle getting it back, generally.

All the rules of social etiquette boil down to just one simple principle that should be natural to any decent human being: whatever you do, make like the motorist checking his blind spot one last time for cyclists before turning the corner, and check that what you're about to do isn't going to harm anyone. Quite often the litmus test for this is by examining your own motive for doing it. Are you boasting? Trying to make yourself look good? IOW, are your motives selfishly driven, or are you genuinely sharing, genuinely interested in the other person and trying to be constructive for their benefit?

The 'golden mystery' of monasticism, which enables groups of people to live together at close quarters for long periods when they don't get to choose who they live with, is that if everyone forgets themselves and just pays attention to caring for others, then everyone gets their needs met. This can work in secular socializing too.

People who are too preoccupied with their own appearance to the group, their own image or concerns or whatever else tend to not do very well, because this comes across and is unattractive.

People who are focused on the other people around them, their needs and what they're sharing, tend to do much better and be more well liked. It makes them want to focus on you; you don't need to demand it by 'look at me, I'm so clever/funny/rich/whatever' tactics.