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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Just admit that it's because you're afraid. There's nothing wrong with being afraid, and you're so damn afraid you can't even admit you're afraid, cos you're afraid of that too. You're so afraid of it that even me saying you are, you're probably taking as an insult or an attack because you think it's so damn terrible to have feelings, you can't imagine how someone seeing that you do and saying so can be anything but an attack.
    I think there's some truth to this. My sister recently had a baby and while she was still in the hospital they were passing the baby around like a football and I was not comfortable holding it in front of my family and thus refused to at first. In this case, I was just against the idea of attention being on me and I can be very hasty and aggressive and I didn't want to hold the fragile/delicate newborn. I was also skeptical of the vibrations I was giving off. As adults we tend to intellectualize and intuit but babies just feel vibrations and I wasn't certain I would comfort it with positive vibes. This was exacerbated by the social tensions between my mom and dad in the waiting room (who are long seperated and hadn't seen eachother in a long time) as well as my grandma who tried to contradict me when I was just making small talk (reflection of poor judgement) she also snickered at my mom (something my mom didn't catch on to but I'm very astute in picking up on those haugty chuckles, afterall, I am a pioneer of the condescending chuckle). Setting that aside, this probably sounds terrible but I just thought the whole thing was rather staged and I'm not going to act and make those stupid faces for sustained periods of time in front of everyone (although I would go on to do it later when there were less people around). I do have emotions I suppose I'm just less likely to display them publicly and I'm more comfortable with being perceived as hardened. Having said that, I just finished my last exam for the summer courses I've been taking and I've opted to increase my extraversion by a few notches. I saw a buddy tonight and I'm playing hockey tomorrow night and going out for beers after. It was mentioned that my persective is highly selfish, and by looking at things under the optic I've presented people can be understood as merely having instrumental value. This is another dilemma I sometimes face. There is a lingering perception - primarily in my family though not only - that I only come around (descend from the ivory tower as substitute put it) when it suits me. In fact, most people see me as very self-absorbed and this is exacerbated by my lack of empathy due to the emotional numbness. Add to this the fact that I'm predominately surrounded by sensors (in my near abroad) which doesn't help. In effect, they will ramble about their dogs or bosses or whatever smalltalk and my brain immediate drifts off. Then if they ask a question about me I will go into a sililoquy and leave them so lost in abstraction that it makes me look like a horses ass. So I'm still struggling to find an equilibrium that is feasible when socializing. Well guys and gals, I appreciate the feedback given thus far and a few of you in particular have made some very valid points!

  2. #42
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    Perharps you can observe what people say to make them popular? On the other hand, you could probably just be yourself.

  3. #43
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Provoker View Post
    I have all of the characteristics of a human being: flesh, a beating heart, a proportional figure and a working brain although I have no single identifiable emotion. I grew up in a household where emotions are a sign of weakness. True, I have been known to lose control sometimes in a surge of aggression that resulted in me bottling someone but after a second I was back to my neutral temperament. I do not have a pang of conscience. I have read about it in books and even seen it in Hollywood movies but I do not know of such things from personal experience. The alleged 'prick of conscience' is something alien to me. Over the last few years I've spent time reading and studying a lot and developing my intellectual side. It would not be out of the ordinary for someone to call me 'genius' although I'm too modest to ever squeeze myself into the genius elevator with Einstein and Picasso already in there which is clearly going up. Suffice it to say that my 'uniqueness' has resulted in a certain level of isolationism - I have become rather reclusive over the last three years in particular. However, I have made an honest effort to fit in better via 'social camouflage'. To all you elitists, geniuses, eccentrics, or odd-balls: what do you do to camouflage your abilities when the situation calls for it? Like Nietzsche's Zarathustra, I've been up in the mountain in solitude for a really long time and I'd like to come down to the village to play. Zarathustra would like to become a man again...what do you guys do to get back in touch with the human side?
    To camouflage an ability is to give it another name.

    Do you find?
    No.

    The one who finds is the object.
    The subject does nor find anything.
    The subject is found.
    By the object.

  4. #44
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Provoker View Post
    In fact, most people see me as very self-absorbed and this is exacerbated by my lack of empathy due to the emotional numbness. Add to this the fact that I'm predominately surrounded by sensors (in my near abroad) which doesn't help. In effect, they will ramble about their dogs or bosses or whatever smalltalk and my brain immediate drifts off. Then if they ask a question about me I will go into a sililoquy and leave them so lost in abstraction that it makes me look like a horses ass. So I'm still struggling to find an equilibrium that is feasible when socializing.
    The one thing I'm curious about is what you hope to achieve when you are interacting in a casual social environment. Let's say someone asks you a question. When you leave them "so lost in abstraction" with your response, what do you get out of that?

    It seems as if you're trying to maintain that elitist exterior at all times, and it's extremely off-putting. It's okay to be self-absorbed. I know that I am. But you're probably learning that being self-absorbed is detrimental when it comes to fulfilling needs that lie outside of yourself.

    If you're as intelligent as you have led us to believe, then you'll modify your behavior. Don't worry, you're still being selfish at the same time because you are fulfilling the social need that you have. It's still all about you, bro. The only difference is that you're making it more bearable for others at the same time. Who knows. . . after faking it for a couple hours a week, you may actually develop some real empathy and some real interest in nonacademic pursuits.

  5. #45
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    I am the very model of the intellectual genius
    I've information peripheral, redundant, and extraneous
    I know the greatest thinkers and I quote them every day and night
    From Socrates to Feynman, in order of their MBTI type
    Not very well acquainted, though, with matters purely sexual
    I understand equations, but ladies seem to vex me all

    okay I'm done. Bored! BORED!
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  6. #46
    Wonderer Samuel De Mazarin's Avatar
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    In a practical sense, you're only a genius if you produce something of extraordinary value... the production of that something of extraordinary value needs to be so mind-bogglingly beyond the ordinary mind that regular folks or even experts in the field would find it difficult to imagine how you did it. Also, geniuses don't typically go around announcing their genius, unless they have something spectacular to go with it.

    Beyond that... the first thing I'd suggest to you, in order for you to come down the mountain you actually have to get off the mountaintop and stop thinking of yourself as a genius. In fact, stop thinking of yourself so much and start taking a real interest in what other people feel, think, and hope for (with yourself absent from the equation). People are less likely to speak to you on a really personal level if you approach them, even without mentioning it explicitly, with the thought in your mind that "I'm a genius"... it'll negatively color all your interactions with us non-geniuses.

    In seeking to understand other people, not through books, but through direct interaction, you will probably start finding yourself understanding them a lot better. I repeat, it's necessary that you care. If you don't care, then fake it till you make it. There's a bonus in this approach to life: you'll understand yourself better too.

    _________________

    Edit: I just noticed that many people have anticipated some of what I'm saying. But this only shows that many of us feel similarly and it's probably a safe bet for you to assume that there's at least something to what we're saying.
    Madman's azure lie: a zen miasma ruled.

    Realize us, Madman!

    I razed a slum, Amen.

    ...............................................

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samuel De Mazarin View Post
    Beyond that... the first thing I'd suggest to you, in order for you to come down the mountain you actually have to get off the mountaintop and stop thinking of yourself as a genius. In fact, stop thinking of yourself so much and start taking a real interest in what other people feel, think, and hope for (with yourself absent from the equation). People are less likely to speak to you on a really personal level if you approach them, even without mentioning it explicitly, with the thought in your mind that "I'm a genius"... it'll negatively color all your interactions with us non-geniuses.
    Maybe I just plugged the genius comment in there to see how much people would obsess over this fact to the exclusion of other things. The mind picks and chooses and in a given text certain things will be magnified while others are reduced to a footnote in one's mind. Incidentally, this lopsided selection and valuation is based on a host of factors - personality being one of them. To be sure, I even went so far as to make clear that I do not consider myself in the genius elevator. This comment was merely to contextualize my situation a little bit. But I admit, I would like to be in the genius elevator one day probably in the philosophy and political science fields. Actually, I have some manuscripts laying around the house that I intend to get published and I want to make some authentic contributions to the international relations literature. It surprises me that this one word (genius) has resulted in a backlash in this thread while no one has been open minded enough to ask what kind of a genius others may consider me if anything? After all, my genius could lay in impressionist art and no one would know due to not asking. Beyond this, you'll notice that the ENTPs and INTJs in particular have been the most open-minded and goal-oriented in this thread. I think this speaks volumes. Samuel De Mazarin, thanks for the feedback. Is that you in the avatar? You look like a cool dude. Egyptian?

  8. #48
    Wonderer Samuel De Mazarin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samuel De Mazarin View Post
    . . . . geniuses don't typically go around announcing their genius, unless they have something spectacular to go with it.

    . . . . People are less likely to speak to you on a really personal level if you approach them, even without mentioning it explicitly, with the thought in your mind that "I'm a genius"... it'll negatively color all your interactions with us non-geniuses.

    Quote Originally Posted by Provoker View Post
    Maybe I just plugged the genius comment in there to see how much people would obsess over this fact to the exclusion of other things.

    . . . . To be sure, I even went so far as to make clear that I do not consider myself in the genius elevator. This comment was merely to contextualize my situation a little bit.

    . . . . It surprises me that this one word (genius) has resulted in a backlash in this thread while no one has been open minded enough to ask what kind of a genius others may consider me if anything?

    . . . . Samuel De Mazarin, thanks for the feedback. Is that you in the avatar? You look like a cool dude. Egyptian?
    In gratuitously providing my own pragmatic definition of what a genius is, I was surreptitiously (not even!) asking you to tell us what your field(s) is/are.

    I'd love to hear some of your thoughts, or even read stuff you've written, though I realize that if its of above-average value, you might want to get it copyrighted first.

    You may well be a genius.... but perhaps the backlash has taught you something about proclamations... even if you coyly disavow your genius status, even hinting at it is, in the secular world for sure, tantamount to calling yourself a healer! Either people get direct evidence of your abilities or they'll revile you for a deluded egotist...

    As for me, well, thanks... I've certainly moved up in the world... I used to be the nerd, and now I'm cool and Egyptian! I've had Puerto Rican and Lebanese before... but this is too good... fyi, I'm Indian, a mix of Rajasthaani and Bengali ethnicities, if that means anything.

    Looking forward to more posts. I'm curious to see how you interact with the forum members in the days/weeks following and what comes of it.
    Madman's azure lie: a zen miasma ruled.

    Realize us, Madman!

    I razed a slum, Amen.

    ...............................................

  9. #49
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samuel De Mazarin View Post
    You may well be a genius.... but perhaps the backlash has taught you something about proclamations... even if you coyly disavow your genius status, even hinting at it is, in the secular world for sure, tantamount to calling yourself a healer! Either people get direct evidence of your abilities or they'll revile you for a deluded egotist...
    Most times, vast intelligence is fairly self-evident.

    It's not something that commonly requires aggressive advertisement.

    Those who advertise tend to have disingenuous subtext - either to their claim, or in what they are trying to sell you as a result of it.

  10. #50
    Wonderer Samuel De Mazarin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    Most times, vast intelligence is fairly self-evident.

    It's not something that commonly requires aggressive advertisement.

    Those who advertise tend to have disingenuous subtext - either to their claim, or in what they are trying to sell you as a result of it.
    When is it okay to speak casually of one's own achievements?

    I found myself flinching when Michael Johnson was saying Phelps hadn't done anything to compare to his own achievement at the Atlanta games... and I often have to keep a check on my estimation of my own intellectual worth... sometimes I think I'm really smart, and then I read about what other people are doing in the world... like a high school student isolating bacteria which breaks down plastic faster than anything else we've ever seen... or a Thomas Pynchon novel...
    Madman's azure lie: a zen miasma ruled.

    Realize us, Madman!

    I razed a slum, Amen.

    ...............................................

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