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  1. #11
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    intellectual genius != social retard
    We see this a lot, though.
    I don't think the first variable of your axiom applies to Provoker.

  2. #12
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    So do you want to CHANGE your behavior and improve your social skills so you fit in, or you simply want to BE YOURSELF? If it's the first I would suggest seeing a therapist for some social skills work or perhaps a life coach. If it's the latter, it might be more effective to seek out other oddballs and connect with them rather than trying to hide your real self.

    I think it's extremely presumptuous of you to suggest that the reason that you don't have these skills is because you are so smart, so abstract, etc. Social skills are just another behavior to learn, either directly or through modelling. Obviously you have spent time developing your intellectual side, and haven't focused enough on the social part.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    I've also seen American Psycho...
    Read the novel.

    Are you offering legitimate insight, or is it a reflection of the pop ideology presented in the movie?
    It doesn't matter. Answer my questions in a meaningful way or stay silent.

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    I think it's extremely presumptuous of you to suggest that the reason that you don't have these skills is because you are so smart, so abstract, etc. .
    I never said that my intelligence was the cause of social isolationism - you've invented this cause yourself although I think it plays a role.

  4. #14
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Provoker View Post
    It doesn't matter. Answer my questions or stay silent. In thie case, you've done neither.
    Don't be unoriginal if you dislike dissent.

    You ask for insight. There you go.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    Don't be unoriginal if you dislike dissent.

    You ask for insight. There you go.


    I asked a question. Presumably your answer would in some way address the main question of the thread. What you've done is added unnecessary input which you're entitled to it just doesn't add value to the thread :s

    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    Are you offering legitimate insight, or is it a reflection of the pop ideology presented in the movie?

    This seems to be an ordinary tendency of S-types to dichotomize everything and invent false choices. I've merely used the movie and book as tools to frame the issue. Whether my situation is genuine or whether I am speaking through the guise of Zarathustra is of no consequence. People like this do exist period. Having said that, this thread is directed toward a dialogue of contemplating solutions.

  6. #16
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    If you want to be with common people, I'd suggest beer. That's what I did, anyway. I used to drink a beer or two in advance, when I had to go out with people or girls. It made miracles! My isolation period was ~8 years (16-24). With time you can (re)learn to do a bit of small talk and appreciate some worldly pleasures. Don't expect to become a "cool dude" overnight, though...

  7. #17
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    I never said that my intelligence was the cause of social isolationism - you've invented this cause yourself although I think it plays a role.
    Well, you certainly suggested it with this:

    It would not be out of the ordinary for someone to call me 'genius' although I'm too modest to ever squeeze myself into the genius elevator with Einstein and Picasso already in there which is clearly going up
    But your statements about lacking a concience and wanting to be more human is very disturbing. But at least it's a first step that you acknowledge it. Do you think that you might have a condition such as BPD or are you just being a bit dramatic? If it's the latter, than Pardo's suggestion about beer and small talk make sense.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Maybe he's just...provoking.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    Maybe he's just...provoking.
    lol ^^

  10. #20
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Let your eccentricities show, they will only identify and endear you to like minds. And often to unlike minds, too.

    Unless the eccentricities in question are selfishness, inconsideration and extreme vanity and arrogance. Cos then even if you meet like minds, they won't appreciate it. They like to dish it out but can't handle getting it back, generally.

    All the rules of social etiquette boil down to just one simple principle that should be natural to any decent human being: whatever you do, make like the motorist checking his blind spot one last time for cyclists before turning the corner, and check that what you're about to do isn't going to harm anyone. Quite often the litmus test for this is by examining your own motive for doing it. Are you boasting? Trying to make yourself look good? IOW, are your motives selfishly driven, or are you genuinely sharing, genuinely interested in the other person and trying to be constructive for their benefit?

    The 'golden mystery' of monasticism, which enables groups of people to live together at close quarters for long periods when they don't get to choose who they live with, is that if everyone forgets themselves and just pays attention to caring for others, then everyone gets their needs met. This can work in secular socializing too.

    People who are too preoccupied with their own appearance to the group, their own image or concerns or whatever else tend to not do very well, because this comes across and is unattractive.

    People who are focused on the other people around them, their needs and what they're sharing, tend to do much better and be more well liked. It makes them want to focus on you; you don't need to demand it by 'look at me, I'm so clever/funny/rich/whatever' tactics.
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