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  1. #111
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ez78705 View Post
    This thread is fun to read. You will see a difference between an INTJ who has been hugged recently and an INTJ who has not been hugged recently or ever before. And INTJ is probably the type that is the least likely to get hugged. Not only because other people might not feel like hugging weird robot INTJs, but also because some INTJs themselves do not realize how much difference intimacy could affect their life and so they continue to rely on their unusual ability to be alone for many years.
    Unusual, perhaps, but definitely useful. And please don't hug the INTJ.

  2. #112
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    Yeah she could say that you are lacking something your brother has

    But she fails to see the good qualities of the INTJ and thats just unappreciative

  3. #113
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure my mom is an ISFJ. She's a great person, but it's very hard for her to understand that people are different and have different preferences. She's always been pretty good about allowing me to be my own person, though. Sometimes we butt heads because she sees my way of approaching things as being lazy or making excuses. Also, because of her I have a much stronger-than-typical awareness for an INTP of what is socially acceptable. It's annoying.
    Something Witty

  4. #114
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Also, because of her I have a much stronger-than-typical awareness for an INTP of what is socially acceptable. It's annoying.
    It certainly is. Most people don't understand why, though. (My mother was likely ESFJ, so similar influence.)

  5. #115
    / nonsequitur's Avatar
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    My mom is an ENFJ, and she's always thought that I'm strange... and has commented more than once (in a negative way) that I'm a hermit. But my relationship with her is not typical; I'd say that most of my friends know me better than her.

    My ISFJ friend thinks that I'm "great" in my logical, analytical perspective that considers even people's emotions as variables. She likes that I can explain why she feels the way that she does, and why people do things, in a "reasonable" fashion. At the same time, she cares about me... and gets that when I care about other people, I tend to be a bit gruff and show it in a "helpful" way. I get concerned about her tendency to be bullied and try to make her grow a spine, but that doesn't seem to have been effective. She doesn't expect me to be demonstrative with how I feel, and likes that I don't show emotion willy-nilly. When I do show emotion though, she takes me seriously and offers me a listening ear without trying to solve my problems or give me advice. I think although we don't completely "get" each other most of the time, we don't step on each others' toes and our relationship is symbiotic.

  6. #116
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ez78705 View Post
    This thread is fun to read. You will see a difference between an INTJ who has been hugged recently and an INTJ who has not been hugged recently or ever before. And INTJ is probably the type that is the least likely to get hugged. Not only because other people might not feel like hugging weird robot INTJs, but also because some INTJs themselves do not realize how much difference intimacy could affect their life and so they continue to rely on their unusual ability to be alone for many years.
    I love to hug my INTJ!

  7. #117
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    First off if people aren't treating you fairly then forget them.

    People who hate me see me as: annoying, arrogant, obtrusive, and a weirdo. People who love me (because it's always one or the other) see me as: strong, confident, tough, smart and a bit annoying.

    And hugs are good, but understanding and listening are much better.

  8. #118
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    You can hug yourself:


  9. #119
    Senior Member Blossom500's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tdore View Post
    And hugs are good, but understanding and listening are much better.
    He gets that too in spades
    The young girl stood beside me I
    Saw not what her young eyes could see
    A light, she said, not of the sky
    Lives somewhere in the Orange Tree.

    John Shaw Neilson The Orange Tree

  10. #120
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windigo View Post
    That sounds a lot like me. When I was a child I was always talking to anyone who would listen to my many wonderful insights about the world, but I could be alone a lot as well. I think adults indulge you by thinking it's cute, but as you get older they just don't get it. In high school I always hung out with artsy/abstract people and was surprised the first time someone said, "Hey, you're really funny!" I think I was a sophomore in High School.

    I think your cousin withdrew because he was tired of all the judgement. A lot of times INTJs don't mean to be jerks, it's just that we don't usually get offended and we're always surprised when a family member (Usually a SF) asks us increduously, "Does ANYONE really find what you talk about even remotely interesting?" Or a co-worker says, "Geez! This is the break room! Give it a rest!" (Even though you weren't talking to them). We're just awfully bad at small talk it seems like a waste of time!
    Yes, I think as a child, his Ni was more apparent. He seemed more imaginative and playful. I don't see the SFs stunting him with the kind of responses you suggest - they're not that dismissive. My ISFJ mom was married to an ENTP for years and 3 my ESFJ grandma's kids are Ns. My grandma has the hardest time with Ns, but she comes around if you make even a little effort. So they genuinely liked him as a child, especially because he was affectionate (and that's the end-all be-all for them).

    I do know he had a childhood trauma where he was pushed off a high wall by school bullies & broke some bones, and I guess he has never been the same since. My aunt claims he is super huggy & warm , but all we see is this Te cold front. He has absolutely no manners, which I admit, horrifies me also. I don't see MBTI type as an excuse for lack of gratitude or displaying a sense of entitlement. The intellectual superiority attitude does not charm anyone either - most of us are smart, even the SFs are very book smart. So he's smart - big deal. Join the club - or the family I should say. I think everyone would be thrilled if he wanted to chat about weird, nerdy stuff - it's the rudeness that offends them. Hey, he could even sit silently as I used to - just say thanks every now & then, especially when people spend money on you, especially when you ASKED them for something. I think he frustrates me because a tiny bit of effort from him to be even remotely cordial would ease up on the negative judgments. It's like he's making a bad name for INXXs .


    I'm so glad your cousin has you!
    Well, I empathize with him, but his personality does not exactly delight me either.... I'll also defend my INTP uncle (especially since I get compared to him so much...), but he's admittedly hard to like at times also. I don't think they see me as much easier to grasp though. I had lovely conversation recently where my mom told me I was "unusual" (in a bad way) & basically criticized me for not using Fe.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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