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Thread: N v. S

  1. #1
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    Default N v. S

    I've gotten to know this certain ESFP and I've come to the conclusion that we're worlds apart. Besides being the complete antithesis of an INTJ, what I find most frustrating is the S factor. Incidentally, I don't speak sensor and this person certainly doesn't speak the language of intuition. In fact, every time I teach her a few new words of intuition (to use a metaphor) she says the most irrelevant sensor thing ever - to the extent that I wonder if there is anything turning in her brain. I was walking on campus with her the other day at night and explaining how the social sciences are quite abstract compared to hard sciences and then she wasn't responding to anything I was saying so I commented on the weather and said "It's really nice out tonight" and she said "wow that was delayed" (because I didn't say it until I finished conveying the concept I was discussing). This was just one incident of many where I finish a long silioquy and she interjects with sensor talk. It's like talking to a 5 year old some times. It seems to me that this person registers nothing in the abstract and simply only responds to things that are concrete and in the moment. Thus, at any given time if I explain something she will not register the big picture nor the essence - she will only register words that trigger concrete things. Keeping in mind that I'm 84% intuitive and 90% thinking (according to several tests) after explaining something she will only register about 15% of it. If I shove in a really concrete and picturesque word that will trigger a thought in her to the exclusion of everything else. On the other hand, she will start on about so and so in the club or some small talk and I immediately zone out (as I don't want to waste my brain listening to meaningless stories when I could be working through problems in my head). Have any of you had similar experiences?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Provoker View Post
    Have any of you had similar experiences?
    Yes. I would say the most practical & useful thing I've learned from studying personality and relations is that some people are not destined to be comfortable interacting with one another. If you recognize an incompatible person, try to keep your distance.

  3. #3
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    Eh, I don't have this problem so much.

    Not with Se anyway, Si is boring though.
    wails from the crypt.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    I have a sensor friend that talks about nothing else besides her job and her dogs. She is lovely tho and even tho I do get bored she has other qualities (besides the fact that we have a long history of friendship since childhood) that keep me engaged in the relationship. If this person is only a casual friend and she really bores you. Stop hanging around her. She will begin to sense you find her childish and boring and that could possibly lead to her having hurt feelings so stop while you're ahead and ease off the friendship. Find someone who you can talk to and you won't have to talk about.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  5. #5
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    Like you, I have a hard time understanding things as they truly are, minus the pretensions we enable ourselves with as an excuse for elevated ignorance.

    iNtuitives always seem so shallow to me...

  6. #6
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    Like you, I have a hard time understanding things as they truly are, minus the pretensions we enable ourselves with as an excuse for elevated ignorance.

    iNtuitives always seem so shallow to me...
    hahahahaha
    Good for you.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  7. #7
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Provoker View Post
    Mental Masturbation
    .
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  8. #8
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Provoker, I can relate to how your friend feels. Sometimes when people talk to me, it's like "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah tires blah blah blah blah blah blah raincoat blah blah blah blah blah blah blah steak."

    And I'm like "All I got was tires, raincoat, steak."

    Depending on my self-esteem at the time, I've usually come to one of two conclusions.

    1. I'm a dumbass.
    2. I'm good at pinpointing the actual important stuff in a rambling mess of words.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  9. #9
    Just a statistic rhinosaur's Avatar
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    When someone tries to change the topic, it usually implies that they don't care about what you're saying. By interjecting those comments about the weather, she was trying to find something else that you could both talk about.

    Also, don't automatically assume a sensor is dumb because they don't want to discuss your silly abstract idea in great depth.

  10. #10
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Okay, being a crazy ENFP who is interested in almost anything, I'm cool with talking about anything - even sensor topics (whatever that means). No problems with the neatest pop music, what actor is banging what actress (although, admittedly, it isn't my favorite subject), how wonderful the flowers smell, or even how awfully the dog farted. I'm even cool with you talking about your favorite porn star or how you'd love to have a nice juicy steak. Or the latest gossip - in small amounts.

    However, if you even dare start talking about the weather I will just .

    K?

    I warned you.

    Anything else is fine, but that "subject" is totally off limits.

    (Waiting for some jackass remark about the weather now. <gets axe ready>)
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

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