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Thread: N v. S

  1. #11
    ThatGirl
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    I am sitting outside right now and couldn't help but notice the gorgeous weather. Warm and sunny with just a slight breeze. Wonderful isn't it?

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhinosaur View Post
    Also, don't automatically assume a sensor is dumb because they don't want to discuss your silly abstract idea in great depth.
    I never assumed she's dumb and please don't assume my abstract idea is silly (there's no need for ad homs here). It can be inferred from my post that I think she is not an abstract thinker and filters abstract concepts out when she takes in information but I do think she's smart in other ways. And she is a very sweet person, despite everything I've stated thus far I seem to click with her on some weird level.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Provoker View Post
    Have any of you had similar experiences?

    Yeah, with ISTJs!

  4. #14
    Senior Member Sunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I am sitting outside right now and couldn't help but notice the gorgeous weather. Warm and sunny with just a slight breeze. Wonderful isn't it?
    hahahahahahaha.

    And you are welcome, I felt like being extra bright today. Yesterday I was feeling introverted so I hid behind some clouds for some alone time.

  5. #15
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    As a sensor, I can tell you that sometimes timing is everything. I will gladly talk about deeper and/or more abstract things but I'd probably not want to do it while walking on campus! That kind of conversation has it's place, but not while walking on a beautiful day. I'd be happy to talk about it at a relevant time (right after class - during class?) or if I was sitting in a quiet place and we were reflecting on that class or the subject. Or you could say "Alicia, I've really been wanting to talk to you about XXX."

    Some Ns have no concept of making small talk and will immediately launch into some deep, serious subject at the worst time. Reminds me of the time a N friend brought up 'life after death' on a chairlift at Park City!

  6. #16
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    As a sensor, I can tell you that sometimes timing is everything. I will gladly talk about deeper and/or more abstract things but I'd probably not want to do it while walking on campus! That kind of conversation has it's place, but not while walking on a beautiful day. I'd be happy to talk about it at a relevant time (right after class - during class?) or if I was sitting in a quiet place and we were reflecting on that class or the subject. Or you could say "Alicia, I've really been wanting to talk to you about XXX."

    Some Ns have no concept of making small talk and will immediately launch into some deep, serious subject at the worst time. Reminds me of the time a N friend brought up 'life after death' on a chairlift at Park City!
    I was attracted to ISTPs until I read this post.
    wails from the crypt.

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    Oh Oh. sorry

    I'm married to an ENTJ

  8. #18
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    Yeah, with ISTJs!
    The ISTJ obsessive focus on perfection annoys the cr@p out of me. But ISTJs also tend to bring the best out of me when I work with them because they keep pushing me to do better.

    Quote Originally Posted by murkrow View Post
    I was attracted to ISTPs until I read this post.
    ISTPs can be really annoying. That "SP Rage" drives me up the wall. Sorry, alicia! That's every ISTP except you, but including my roommate.

    Woohoo! I'm 300 posts old.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    Some Ns have no concept of making small talk and will immediately launch into some deep, serious subject at the worst time. Reminds me of the time a N friend brought up 'life after death' on a chairlift at Park City!
    I just find this so funny because I would bring up the same topic in the same random place and time. I think it might be that Ns have fewer defined distinctions between time, place, and topic. If an idea is interesting and it occurs to us to discuss the idea, we're probably more likely to launch into the subject whenever and whereever if we're with someone with whom we enjoy sharing ideas.

    What I find interesting is that you have such distinctions. That there seems to be a specific time and place for particular topics. Is it because you need to be in a certain mindset to want to discuss such things? Or is it because you would rather focus on the present than be distracted with discussion?
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  10. #20
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Whether I'm an N or an S, I think you need to figure when it's time to start talking about a certain subject and when to lay off.

    Yesterday I was at a going away party/happy hour with one of my coworkers who's going to school in NYC. Topic turned to 9/11 and after awhile I noticed the person who we were there for started to get quiet and withdrawn I asked her what was wrong and she said oh nothing, but I think the turn of conversation was depressing. Not think, it was and I changed the subject and she perked up again.

    I find most people are willing to engage in "abstract" or "deeper" topics when they feel comfortable with you or when they're gathered specifically to discuss that kind of stuff. Those subjects tend to expose people deep held beliefs, thoughts, or feelings and most people don't want those exposed right off that bat. Especially when the person doing the prying seems like they want to argue or debate you about it. Why try to force a conversation out of someone if they don't want to talk about it? Do you at least try to warm them up into talking about it or you go straight for the jugular? I think you'd get the level of conversation you find satisfying if you tried to engage in discussion instead of debate and picking someone's beliefs apart. It puts people on the defensive and that ends up going nowhere.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

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