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  1. #401
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    ^How to flirt^
    My sister told me late last night that when she'd spoken to him, he told her that I'm one of two girls who ever made him want to be a better man, to expand. He said he felt like I understood him. Of course, he didn't say this TO ME. I found out well after the fact. It struck me so powerfully that I just sat there saying nothing. When I find out that I'm in sync with someone, that I'm coming across, that they KNOW that I understand, it means everything to me. The reflection I'm seeing is accurate - these sorts of very personal deep connections with those I care about. It's so hard to describe. I frequently feel like I'm speaking into a void, so hearing return echoes and messages is a special thing for me. I get weirdly quiet and calm.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #402
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    When I find out that I'm in sync with someone, that I'm coming across, that they KNOW that I understand, it means everything to me. The reflection I'm seeing is accurate - these sorts of very personal deep connections with those I care about. It's so hard to describe.
    I know what you mean. This feeling is so rare and so beautiful.

    Your post made me laugh so hard because it brought back a memory of a guy I used to date. He always wondered why his friends knew more about my feelings for him than he did. The answer is simply because they asked me. It never even occurs to me to discuss my feelings about anything or anyone.

  3. #403
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Actually Amargith, I reckon the main difference is that ENTP's work things out aloud by bouncing them off the listener, whilst Ni dom people work it out internally and then sorta "proclaim" to the listener their verdict. I don't mean that sarcastically or scathingly or anything, but that's the difference I see that might give an impression that it's the "same thing"...

    I mean if I connect the dots using Ti and Ne to figure out what's going on inside another person, what I say is pretty much my first draft, and I'm looking for feedback to refine it, I'm not certain at all that I'm right, it's more a theory. But INxJ's I do tend to find, you know... they figure they've worked it all out internally, so that's probably why it grates on me more when they give their theories as to my emotional motivations - there's an air about them that they think they've got me pegged, there's a kind of certainty about what they say in their voices that I really don't think I could convincingly carry into almost anything I say at all beyond "the sky is blue" lol

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I frequently feel like I'm speaking into a void, so hearing return echoes and messages is a special thing for me. I get weirdly quiet and calm.
    This though, is solid gold. That's exactly what I look for, someone who talks back. But it so often gets mistaken for me just wanting to talk, compulsively, liking the sound of my own voice and all that. Hell no, I'm just searching for some point of connection that will make them talk back.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  4. #404
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I know what you mean. This feeling is so rare and so beautiful.
    Isn't it just? He and I have been friends, even against the odds, for a long time. He plays tough, whatever it takes for him to get through a bad spell, but he's laid himself open to me, and I take that very seriously. The thing with ENTPs (and ENFPs too) is that they're generally so upbeat, busy and optimistic (not stupidly so) that when one goes down for the count, it causes me all sorts of distress to look at it. I feel this driving need to stand over my sister and spit venom on the world.

    Your post made me laugh so hard because it brought back a memory of a guy I used to date. He always wondered why his friends knew more about my feelings for him than he did. The answer is simply because they asked me. It never even occurs to me to discuss my feelings about anything or anyone.
    Well, it seems to me, if an ENTP has something to say about how he feels about ME, they clam up. Joking, flirting, picking me up, driving me nuts, taking my food, even debating is okay, but apparently "I feel this way about you" is like ripping their souls out through their noses. But that's all right... I do it too. In my own way.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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  5. #405
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Actually Amargith, I reckon the main difference is that ENTP's work things out aloud by bouncing them off the listener, whilst Ni dom people work it out internally and then sorta "proclaim" to the listener their verdict.
    Well said, Sub. That's a good summary of Ni vs Ne.

    The ENTPs of my acquaintance all do the "thinking aloud" thing. I just sit and listen until they 1. ask me for my opinion, or 2. propose something that sounds at least 90% fatal and I *must* insist that they not do it. lol

    That's exactly what I look for, someone who talks back. But it so often gets mistaken for me just wanting to talk, compulsively, liking the sound of my own voice and all that. Hell no, I'm just searching for some point of connection that will make them talk back.
    It's like sonar. Mapping the surface.

    Do ENTPs echo-locate?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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  6. #406
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Well, it seems to me, if an ENTP has something to say about how he feels about ME, they clam up. Joking, flirting, even debating is okay, but apparently "I feel this way about you" is like ripping their souls out through their noses. But that's all right... I do it too. In my own way.
    That's completely true too for me. It takes SO MUCH for me to screw up the balls to even just refer to somebody as my "best bud" in their presence. I can say "I think you're intelligent" or "I think you're good looking" or whatever, no problem. But to say "I feel really good when I'm with you and I like it when we do stuff together"... just feels kinda... ghey...

    I guess when it comes to saying it to women, I worry that either a) they'll think I LIKE them in THAT way, when I don't, then it'll get all awkward or b) they'll think I LIKE them when I DO, and it'll get all awkward or c) they'll think I'm being insincere, d) they'll make a big deal out of it, e) I just sound like a total fag. Regarding d - if I manage to do it, then ffs please don't start going on about how special it is and how grateful you are that I shared that with you etc etc etc, just say "thanks" and move on! Three seconds is about the maximum time my uh, heart (haha see even just saying the word makes me laugh, feels so faggy!) can stand being in the spotlight before it BURRRNSSS MEEEEE!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #407
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    That's completely true too for me. It takes SO MUCH for me to screw up the balls to even just refer to somebody as my "best bud" in their presence. I can say "I think you're intelligent" or "I think you're good looking" or whatever, no problem. But to say "I feel really good when I'm with you and I like it when we do stuff together"... just feels kinda... ghey...

    I guess when it comes to saying it to women, I worry that either a) they'll think I LIKE them in THAT way, when I don't, then it'll get all awkward or b) they'll think I LIKE them when I DO, and it'll get all awkward or c) they'll think I'm being insincere, d) they'll make a big deal out of it, e) I just sound like a total fag. Regarding d - if I manage to do it, then ffs please don't start going on about how special it is and how grateful you are that I shared that with you etc etc etc, just say "thanks" and move on! Three seconds is about the maximum time my uh, heart (haha see even just saying the word makes me laugh, feels so faggy!) can stand being in the spotlight before it BURRRNSSS MEEEEE!
    ROFL!!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #408
    violaine
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    Heh, my ENTP b/f and I never stop talking, so it seems. Thankfully, we don't seem to have any communication blocks. But we are both conscious of each others' styles. I definitely do the internal processing then pronouncement thing. Though I try and temper it. He regularly reminds me when he is just talking out loud to formulate a theory when I start to take something too seriously and launch into *earnest* mode.

    It's possibly the best communication I have experienced with someone else. We are both very opinionated but we don't fight much. We often verbally spar for fun. We have a safe word for when one of us thinks it's getting out of hand.

  9. #409
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Actually Amargith, I reckon the main difference is that ENTP's work things out aloud by bouncing them off the listener, whilst Ni dom people work it out internally and then sorta "proclaim" to the listener their verdict. I don't mean that sarcastically or scathingly or anything, but that's the difference I see that might give an impression that it's the "same thing"...

    I mean if I connect the dots using Ti and Ne to figure out what's going on inside another person, what I say is pretty much my first draft, and I'm looking for feedback to refine it, I'm not certain at all that I'm right, it's more a theory. But INxJ's I do tend to find, you know... they figure they've worked it all out internally, so that's probably why it grates on me more when they give their theories as to my emotional motivations - there's an air about them that they think they've got me pegged, there's a kind of certainty about what they say in their voices that I really don't think I could convincingly carry into almost anything I say at all beyond "the sky is blue" lol



    This though, is solid gold. That's exactly what I look for, someone who talks back. But it so often gets mistaken for me just wanting to talk, compulsively, liking the sound of my own voice and all that. Hell no, I'm just searching for some point of connection that will make them talk back.
    Ok so, it stands to reason then that ENFPs, your F counterparts and Ne-partners in crime are more up your alley?


    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    That's completely true too for me. It takes SO MUCH for me to screw up the balls to even just refer to somebody as my "best bud" in their presence. I can say "I think you're intelligent" or "I think you're good looking" or whatever, no problem. But to say "I feel really good when I'm with you and I like it when we do stuff together"... just feels kinda... ghey...

    I guess when it comes to saying it to women, I worry that either a) they'll think I LIKE them in THAT way, when I don't, then it'll get all awkward or b) they'll think I LIKE them when I DO, and it'll get all awkward or c) they'll think I'm being insincere, d) they'll make a big deal out of it, e) I just sound like a total fag. Regarding d - if I manage to do it, then ffs please don't start going on about how special it is and how grateful you are that I shared that with you etc etc etc, just say "thanks" and move on! Three seconds is about the maximum time my uh, heart (haha see even just saying the word makes me laugh, feels so faggy!) can stand being in the spotlight before it BURRRNSSS MEEEEE!
    See that's interesting...why is that? For me, that's a very special moment. Be it me or be it the other person who fesses up...that's awesome. It's scary to do it, true, but once you see the other appreciates it, it's an amazing feeling, imo.
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  10. #410
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Ok so, it stands to reason then that ENFPs, your F counterparts and Ne-partners in crime are more up your alley?
    Yeah totally, duh!

    See that's interesting...why is that? For me, that's a very special moment. Be it me or be it the other person who fesses up...that's awesome. It's scary to do it, true, but once you see the other appreciates it, it's an amazing feeling, imo.
    Ugh no, no no no no no! I mean uh yeah. Haha, no I mean yeah ... no... just shut up, k? It's surely no revelation that a lot of men REALLY don't like talking about their feelings!!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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