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  1. #331
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    there are no terms that I can think of... questions like that seem very J like to me. Stuff like "so where do you envision the friendship going from here?"

    Stuff like that makes me go

    I didn't plan on anything, except just taking it as it comes?
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  2. #332
    brat Mitzy's Avatar
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    the terms of friendship?
    do you mean what makes a friendship, a friendship
    or what "rules" someone has to follow or criteria in order to be friends
    i dont understand your question.......
    She talks pretty but says mean things

  3. #333
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I think so...from what I can make out. Personally I get that feeling from getting to know someone and seeing what makes them tick and opening up to them myself. From what I gather here, they get it from seeing which ideas the other person can come up with, and how those can stimulate their own minds. Sort of a mindmelt, I guess and getting high on each others capacities and wit. Though I can definitely enjoy that kind of banter with someone, and enjoy being challenged intellectually, it doesn't make me bond with someone, or at least, not as much. It's like foreplay to me. To them, it seems, it's the main event.


    To those confused:

    I guess, what I'm trying to ask is, when do you consider someone a friend and what are the assumed terms of said friendship? Aka: do you show them your weaknesses, do you call them when you're in need, do you drop everything for them if they need it, is it more to just hang out, is it based on how much fun you have together, questions like that.
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  4. #334
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    So wait...you guys seek for that feeling of being in sync with someone, but mentally, rather than emotionally? That would make sense...
    Not so much in sync. Allthough i have an intuiling were that conclusion came from. There is no "seek" either. The conversation/argument just happens, without being generated/started by feelings. When all the dust has settled, there is a hope/desire that an intellectual reacharound was reached.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  5. #335
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Does that by definition mean that anyone who can give you a good 'game', becomes your friend?
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  6. #336
    brat Mitzy's Avatar
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    i get drunk with them and see how we click ;D
    as long as you can have fun, joke, are outgoing and smart/witty, and can sometimes challenge me, you have my friendship



    as for terms.. no, i wont drop anything for them
    they have to know that i have my life and responsibilities
    and i need space
    also, dont expect anything from me or expect me to do much for you

    if youre a friend, i might do it but even if i dont, you have to respect my decision and not argue/ feel insulted/upset about it
    She talks pretty but says mean things

  7. #337
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post


    To those confused:

    I guess, what I'm trying to ask is, when do you consider someone a friend and what are the assumed terms of said friendship? Aka: do you show them your weaknesses, do you call them when you're in need, do you drop everything for them if they need it, is it more to just hang out, is it based on how much fun you have together, questions like that.
    This only assumes i'm an E. We know our weaknesses will be seen even if they are not. Showing weaknesses is trivial. They should have allready been spotted mutually. We may call friends if we are in need of something vaguely associated with argumental ammo. If we dropped everything when someone was in need, we would forget where we dropped those valuables later. So maybe not. It is not so much based on how much fun we will have together. Fun is easily created unsuperficially-through conversation perhaps.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  8. #338
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Does that by definition mean that anyone who can give you a good 'game', becomes your friend?
    No. My best friend is an ISTP. We don't have intellectual debates, I don't argue with him as sport (I couldn't really - there's a big gap between our levels of education). But we're very much friends and I'm pretty sure I could trust him with anything and hold him in very high regard, possibly even exactly because he's not an academic and doesn't do debates. There's nobody I'd rather spend time with.

    What makes us click? I dunno. We just do. I guess we share notions of how people should treat each other, and feel that the other acts out those notions to a good degree. And we like adventuring, fixing/improving things and getting drunk and talking shit that we forget the next day. I guess, really, we're there for each other and there's no judging going on.

    I think actually that's getting closer to it - the lack of judging. That's what makes me feel free with someone. With some people I feel like I have to always be sort of proving myself against whatever bias they have against me, and that's very draining. I feel like if I do something wrong, I'm being judged as a bad person, my worth as a human is dropping in their eyes. With my ISTP, if I do something wrong, well, it seems like he just has compassion - he's willing to believe first and foremost that it was an honest mistake and the last thing he'd think would be that I did it on purpose or with malice.

    Yes - I feel free with him because he believes in my goodness as a person and trusts in it, and doesn't judge me. He sees the good with the bad and accepts both. I feel free to be human with him, and that means being myself. With people who I feel will judge me if I make mistakes, I feel like being human isn't good enough for them. Ergo, I can't be myself, because human is what I am.

    The stuff I don't wanna talk about (personal stuff), he doesn't wanna know. And the stuff he doesn't wanna talk about, I don't ask. No need - it gets blurted out when drunk and then never spoken of again, and that's the way we like it. I feel like I have emotional privacy, if you get me? And that's important. With NF's, I sometimes feel like I'm being sort of "emotionally raped", if you get me?
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
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  9. #339
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    ...I can make out.
    That was never really in doubt, A.

  10. #340
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your responses so far.


    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    No. My best friend is an ISTP. We don't have intellectual debates, I don't argue with him as sport (I couldn't really - there's a big gap between our levels of education). But we're very much friends and I'm pretty sure I could trust him with anything and hold him in very high regard, possibly even exactly because he's not an academic and doesn't do debates. There's nobody I'd rather spend time with.

    What makes us click? I dunno. We just do. I guess we share notions of how people should treat each other, and feel that the other acts out those notions to a good degree. And we like adventuring, fixing/improving things and getting drunk and talking shit that we forget the next day. I guess, really, we're there for each other and there's no judging going on.

    I think actually that's getting closer to it - the lack of judging. That's what makes me feel free with someone. With some people I feel like I have to always be sort of proving myself against whatever bias they have against me, and that's very draining. I feel like if I do something wrong, I'm being judged as a bad person, my worth as a human is dropping in their eyes. With my ISTP, if I do something wrong, well, it seems like he just has compassion - he's willing to believe first and foremost that it was an honest mistake and the last thing he'd think would be that I did it on purpose or with malice.

    Yes - I feel free with him because he believes in my goodness as a person and trusts in it, and doesn't judge me. He sees the good with the bad and accepts both. I feel free to be human with him, and that means being myself. With people who I feel will judge me if I make mistakes, I feel like being human isn't good enough for them. Ergo, I can't be myself, because human is what I am.

    The stuff I don't wanna talk about (personal stuff), he doesn't wanna know. And the stuff he doesn't wanna talk about, I don't ask. No need - it gets blurted out when drunk and then never spoken of again, and that's the way we like it. I feel like I have emotional privacy, if you get me? And that's important. With NF's, I sometimes feel like I'm being sort of "emotionally raped", if you get me?

    Oh I can see how that would be. Oddly enough, you guys can do the same to us, ime. I can also relate to not liking to be judged. So I wonder...how do you experience 'being judged'. And are you likely to judge people yourself? If not, do you ever feel that you might be perceived as such?

    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    That was never really in doubt, A.
    What isn't in doubt, Oberon? *innocent look*
    Is there something you would like?
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