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  1. #171
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'd rather be hit than hugged- I hate being hugged
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #172
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    *Sees Uber's desperate cry for love and drops in to lay a hug on him*

    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  3. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I'd rather be hit than hugged- I hate being hugged
    Yet now you're just asking for it.

  4. #174
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    *Swats whatever with a newspaper.*
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  5. #175
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    *Swats whatever with a newspaper.*
    Oh yes, again, harder!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  6. #176
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I deserve all the hugs I can get.
    So if you can get no hugs then you deserve no hugs?

  7. #177
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiver View Post
    Way before I ever heard of MBTI, I remember telling someone, "I want to be able to say what I think and still have everyone love me anyway." I think that is classic ENTP.

    When I blurt out something like "Bananas are disgusting." I 99% believe it and assume I must be right. However, I am very open to the idea that there's a possibility I'm not. My comment is an unconscious invitation to you to tell me something new and fascinating that I didn't know about bananas that will interest me or change my mind, like "Bananas actually caused the French Revolution," with back up facts, of course.

    As I got older, I realized that this is a unique communication style and not universally loved. So I now try to be more aware of the group I'm with and think before I blurt out something. Still, sometimes I forget and blurt out "Bananas are disgusting." People who know me well know I'm really saying "Right now, bananas are disgusting to me."

    Even now, I would easily engage in a spirited debate about bananas with you because to me it would be a fun, intellectual tennis match. But, here's the thing. Any ENTP believes that he will win any debate, ruthlessly, if necessary. A good way to end off the debate would be "You have not convinced me, but I will think about what you have said." That response is respectful to give and receive.

    You can always learn more about ENTP strengths and put your focus there, looking for ways to bring out the best in your ENTP. Some martial arts teach practioners to use the attacker's own strength against him. I am not saying to use their strengths to thwart them, but to move the relationship away from being irritating to you. If a colleague came up to me and said, "Hey you're good at this and I need help with it." I would be inordinately pleased -- and actually respect them more for realizing it.

    Often ENTPs have a vision; what is his vision? Can you help him see how he can utilize your strengths to help him achieve that vision.

    These options are more work for you, but will guide the ENTP toward maturity and balance.

    Bottom line: hit them with a hug
    How old are you now? Do you feel pretty well accomplished in reaching your goal of being able to say what you want and still be liked for it?

    I used to not care much about that actually.
    I followed the saying.. say what you want, and do what you want because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
    But lately, I fell a very strong urge to be universally liked, and now my bluntness has really tried to turn to tactfulness.

    It didn't work out too well for me though. Being tactful just seem so awkward to me that when I do it, it just comes off awkward too.

    You really hit the nail on the head about invitation to get something new and inviting by blurting out something that you feel like most people would disagree with, but yet you feel like you have your reasons to go against the crowd. It's like, I have so many reasons to believe so and so, but I know the crowd believes the contrary, I would like them to enlighten me in why my reasonings are wrong.. if they can that is... and if they can't, well they should follow my reasonings, since I have reason.
    But slowly, I realized that this often just pisses people off. I think this is when I realized about the concept of the ego. I felt like often, there would be people I'm used to arguing with that we would end up feeling like we absolutely need to disagree with each other, just for the sake of saving our egos. When we bring up points to each other, we'd immediately, and naturally, just come up with ways to think of how wrong each other is.
    It's like we get blinded from each other's views.

    And on the contrary, haven't you noticed that when you agree with someone, they'll try their damned hardest to agree with you also? It's like they're blinded from our own views and we can only agree. It works both ways!

    I'm still trying to figure out that middle ground where you can be yourself and not be influenced by the ego.

  8. #178

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    I always find myself nodding when I read Terian's posts.

    ENTPs test. They push. They challenge. Their attitude is "all humor is a risk" and they're willing to risk a lot.

    Push back and you win their respect. Too much hugging is boring to an ENTP.
    Wow. That is positively repellant. :cringes:

    :grumbles: ...compatible my arse...
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  9. #179
    Senior Member Kestrel's Avatar
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    Heh, my ENTP boss can be annoying and offensive sometimes. I usually don't take it so seriously though.

    An example would be him asking me a question then saying "You have no idea, right?" or "You wouldn't know much about this, huh?" before I can even answer the damn question. Maybe this is an obnoxious manifestation of Ne at work?

    Sometimes his Ne is surgically on point about me, usually about my character. But when he presumes to know about my capabilities, he's usually waaaaaaay off the mark.

    ENTPs are brilliant at improvising though, so working with him is usually fun. INFJ+ENTP = pretty good team.
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    A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. -Winston Churchill

  10. #180
    Arcesso pulli gingerios! Eldanen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    Heh, my ENTP boss can be annoying and offensive sometimes. I usually don't take it so seriously though.

    An example would be him asking me a question then saying "You have no idea, right?" or "You wouldn't know much about this, huh?" before I can even answer the damn question. Maybe this is an obnoxious manifestation of Ne at work?

    Sometimes his Ne is surgically on point about me, usually about my character. But when he presumes to know about my capabilities, he's usually waaaaaaay off the mark.

    ENTPs are brilliant at improvising though, so working with him is usually fun. INFJ+ENTP = pretty good team.
    Don't be so caught off balance by a remark an ENTP makes about your character. A lot of the time it can be an attack on your character. It's an Fe thing, not an Ne thing. I've had some ESFjs (FeSi) make comments about my character, but mostly they were just attacking. It's always good to really think about whatever is said about your character cons and pros, just to make sure that they're not trying to trick you into believing what they say, so that they have control over you .

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