[NT] Rational females - do you struggle with this?

[Samvega]

I used to correlate things that aren't actually related, thinking empathy and Fe would go hand in hand, being shy or socially anxious and introversion. This topic would fall into that as we all present so differently, honestly, some of the most completely cold, cruel people I have known were NFs and I have never dated an NT I haven't made cry, they're some of the sweetest, most sappy, caring people I have known. It may however be that as an NT I get their style?

As a side note, I see a lot of the same posts up above and it makes me want to turn a mirror on you, why were you choosing partners like that? Were they too soft or were you too cold? Balance is in the middle so if your perception of them is something, that doesn't make it reality. The goal is for us NTs to mature and better understand our hearts, for NFs to do the same with their minds so over time we have full us of both, that's where the magic happens!

 

[Froody Blue Gem]

Not literally every man in my case, I'm inwardly a very sensitive person, then again I'm somewhere between T and F. I would say it's generally 50-50 but there have been a significant amount of cases where men in my life verbalized their feelings more than I do.

Society puts expectations on women to be nurturing, and I do care a lot for the people around me. Statistically, a lot of F types tend to be female, so that may be a social norm thing that has an affect on how people's personalities are shaped or how people type. Back when I was going with an F type, one guy pointed out how F I am when I hinted I am considering a T type and listed all of my "F" traits. Perhaps those things could be F things, but an influence of 9 can shape that. And I can't help but wonder if those things are really F things or things that are influenced by expectations people have had in the past, generalized anxiety, and conforming to conventionally feminine traits. How emotionally in touch I am is compacted. I have come across some men who are more outwardly expressive than me while I tend to keep things inside more. There is even one friend I have who types as T, I have no doubt of his T, but he's more upfront about his emotions than I am.

I've come across some men in my life that overreact to things and while all humans have emotions and deserve to be able to vent, some men I've known have done so more than me. I talk about my emotions once I process them, but there have been some guys I know who are quicker to process what's going on inside than me.

 

[Yuurei]

My grandfather was the only man I’ve known who is not more emotional than I am.

It is incredibly furstrating because just about everyone man I have known has had two issues1- being unable to keep their emotions in check. If they do not get thier way, if even the most insignificant goes differently ( not even wrong) they lose their shit and take it out on me. The women in my family also do this but not others. 2- since they’re the man they think their behavior is fine. As a kid my Father would until h was horse while I just their, expressionless, staring as if I were going to bore holes into his very soul but I was still the one who was considered “ emotional” and it continues to be this was with just about every man I know as an adult.

I used to joke that the reason society calls women crazy and emotional is just to deflect from the truth.
Butit’s becoming less and less amusing as time on.

 

[Virtual ghost]

To be honest I think this is just NT/T thing in general, I am not a woman for sure but in real life I live with these kind of accusations for decades. To the point that I just ignore most people on average day.

 

[Maou]

I think it all depends on the age group, and social group. I find younger men to be extremely emotional (millenials and younger). While baby boomers are moderate, and the generation before that to be extremely stoic and hard to read. Etc.

 

[Earl Grey]

You know, these kinds of threads are funny because usually in an unwanted situation where I and my friends are being imposed upon, the one staying calm and looking for middle ground is- guess what- the women. The one going 'FUCK THIS' and throwing a shitstorm? Me and most the other men. Honestly, men can be such entitled pissbabies, especially with women. I want to rip my hair out because especially in relationships, there is such a bias towards men being pleased and women being pleasing, and not much of the other way around. And men dare call women the emotional side of the species and wash their hands of it, when they expect women to be so tight-lipped about themselves and their troubles, stoic and uncomplaining even, to please men.

There must be a distinction between the emotionality itself and the expression, for both men and women can be deeply emotional, but some may express their emotions in less mature, and perhaps even more damaging ways than the others. Emotionality itself cannot and ideally should not be frowned upon in either sex, what matters is what is done about it- that is what speaks of the person themselves, their character.