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  1. #11

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    Broken people are everywhere; men and women alike...

    Love them.

    God bless!
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  2. #12

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    Emo NT Boy vs. Emo NT Girl

  3. #13
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    That's an interesting observation. I find that my ISTP brother is more emotional than my ISFJ boyfriend. I think it may correlate somewhat with their instincts - they're both 9s, but my brother is sx-high and my boyfriend is sx-low.

    I even find as a fairly emotional female that I don't tend to make important decisions when I am emotional, while I see a plenty of men, both T and F, doing so. So it is baffling to me sometimes even as an F-dominant to hear of blanket male rationality.
    I have seen it posted many times that Fs are better able to handle emotions, because they engage with them more, place more importance on them, and as a result develop those skills much more than the average T. I see some validity in this. We avoid using the tool we don't have the skill to wield effectively, and when forced somehow to use it anyway, can get mixed or even bad results.

    I would even venture to suggest that the average F will be better at using T skills then the converse, because these tend to be in greater demand in the workplace and in business.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  4. #14

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    You know what, y'all are being rude. Apologize!

    NT Manchild vs. NT Womanchild

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  5. #15
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I don't think that the N part has anything to do with it...

    common joke at work is that I'm a serial killer in my off time based on my lack of emotional reaction to things that everyone else reacts to
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett
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  6. #16
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    I am a female INTJ. It's been my personal experience that almost every man I've ever known has been more emotional than me. Or maybe I should say, they've all been more demonstrative in their emotions. It's not that I don't have emotions; they just don't show on the surface. I try not to make decisions based on emotion, and when trying to help others, I always appeal to their logical faculties and their common sense. (If they have any.)

    It baffles and frustrates me, because society on a whole tends to believe the stereotype that men are rational creatures, and women are emotional. But to me, it's always seemed the opposite. Do any other rational females have this problem? How do you cope in a world that expects women to be emotional?
    Ive found this as well in my life. And I used to sort of think in these parameters and terms as well. I wasn't very emotional, I didn't cry much, and I was with... erm.. i dunno.. wussier guys. I guess.

    But I also found a few things influenced that heavily.

    The first being: people are attracted to those that can teach them things. Opposites attract. Rarely do people meet and do well on the exact same emotional levels. There needs to be a balance.. and if you're a very balanced person (and I suspect if you're constantly frustrated with emotional displays you're not.. don't worry, like, 90% of the world isn't..) then maybe another very balanced person is cool, but for most people.. you'll either meet someone who is more emotional than you, or less emotional than you. and that leads to the second thing...

    Which is the delusion that it's better to be one more than the other. Words can highly invalidating to emotions.. because the reality is not so many things require logic in our day to day lives as we might expect. And emotions need to be balanced with logic, and emphasizing one more than the other hurts both. And sometimes, that logic plays right into emotions. There's such thing as being emotionally logical. There is such a thing as to find someone with even LESS emotions than you.. and when you do, you'll also potentially find someone with even less tolerance of emotions than you as well. It's not easy on either side of the coin. An emotional person constantly has to deal with the invalidation of something that is actually a very normal part of the human process. Someone less emotional is never going to 100% fulfill the emotional needs of someone more emotional than them... and they have to deal with that. And they have to be expected to deal with the times you are emotional because, hey, that's their game. And they have to somehow promote their less-emotional-more-mechanical side in order to not be burden on you. Couple that with the idea that men typically place ALL of their emotional well-being into a single person (i.e. usually their wives and girlfriends), and what you get is frustrating, illogical, and overwhelming. Just as overwhelming as emotional outbursts and illogical things can be for someone who has to deal with those. Frequently non-emotional people try to 'fix' things, or immediately jump to pointing out the issues... There's very little *support* for the issue, and empathy being shown and presented (even though you might feel it, no one can read your mind) and just because you appreciate a particular way of communicating doesn't mean it's superior, or what the other person needs.

    When it's seen as an all or nothing instead of a fluid process ebbing back and forth, you start resenting and looking for examples to prove yourself right.. versus realizing there's an imbalance and nurturing that balance back to health.

    I find a LOT more success in validation, and support, and listening to the issue and discussing it in terms of just simply supporting them... and when they're calm again, and you've shown you clearly side with them as a person and as a lover (which is different than disagreeing with their position or actions), then you can discuss things and maybe show them what could have been changed, or done better, or a more positive/neutral way to think about it. The WAY you talk can move mountains, or tear down bridges.

    Right now I'm in a situation where I'm dating someone less emotional than me. It doesn't happen often. Or.. well... ever really for me. This is a first. So now I'm seeing it from the opposite side of the coin. I used to complain about the very stuff *i'm now guilty of doing* .. and I didn't change. Not really. Who is more emotional than the other did. And now I'm having to validate myself. And say.. "Okay, kyu, you know he cares about you.. he'd never say you're stupid.. Why are you thinking he's calling you stupid.." and logically work out the issues that stemmed from... really just his inability to be sensitive to a situation sometimes and show support and understanding FIRST before going right for the throat of the problem.. which usually isn't even him.

    All those eggshells you walk on? Emotional people are stepping on cold iron nails. And nails hurt the feet more than eggshells tend to.. Having been on both sides of the coin now, I can say I was definitely living a cushier life being the less emotional one.
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  7. #17
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadOctopus View Post
    I am a female INTJ. It's been my personal experience that almost every man I've ever known has been more emotional than me. Or maybe I should say, they've all been more demonstrative in their emotions. It's not that I don't have emotions; they just don't show on the surface. I try not to make decisions based on emotion, and when trying to help others, I always appeal to their logical faculties and their common sense. (If they have any.)

    It baffles and frustrates me, because society on a whole tends to believe the stereotype that men are rational creatures, and women are emotional. But to me, it's always seemed the opposite. Do any other rational females have this problem? How do you cope in a world that expects women to be emotional?
    Would I get in trouble asking where the corresponding post is, addressed to *irrational* women? :
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

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  8. #18
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Just gotta ask, given what your MBTI type is listed as, and a number of threads on this site and others.
    Does it happen that your significant other is INTx?

    No *need* to answer; but, on the other hand, I'm not being snarky. Just *pinging* with my Ni / Te radar.
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

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  9. #19
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grey_beard View Post
    Would I get in trouble asking where the corresponding post is, addressed to *irrational* women? :
    Why? Do you have a constructive approach to handling irrational women? If you do, I would be eager to read it.
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  10. #20
    The Typing Tabby grey_beard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Why? Do you have a constructive approach to handling irrational women? If you do, I would be eager to read it.
    The only thing I've heard to work is the whole Red-Pill, Game, approach. And that only works if she develops tingles for the man in question.

    Failing that, waving a copy of People magazine with Kim Kardashian or Ryan Gosling on the cover in their face, then throwing the magazine in *one* direction, while you run in the extreme *opposite* direction, sometimes works...
    "Love never needs time. But friendship always needs time. More and more and more time, up to long past midnight." -- The Crime of Captain Gahagan

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