I'm not sure INTJs are actually aggressive that often, though obviously depends on how you define aggression. What we do still tends to be depersonalized, but I do agree with your overall characterization. To spell it out: we are (or at least I am) usually aware of when something I am doing is going to harm someone else, and do choose to go ahead with it anyway. This is not because I don't care about the other person or because I want to harm them, but rather because I consider the outcome a greater good, or avoidance of an even greater harm, sometimes even for the affected person. So even then, the hurt is not personal or intentional, it is simply collateral damage, taken into account in the cost/benefit calculation for the decision.