The general consensus was to leave it alone and that it was futile because he was done with me. And not that I necessarily listened to it, but I guess I started to think more about the situation a bit more clearly and realized that perhaps the best thing to do is just to give him space for a bit. When I saw him three weeks ago, he had mentioned that he hadn't been doing much lately--since May him and his closest friends have been drinking a ton, and hanging out a lot--to the point where about 90% of the time he was wasted. He said that he hadn't been going out lately, just working and keeping to himself. I suspect that he might be in a withdrawal or turn down phase(i.e. retreat) and trying to continue to make myself known to him, probably won't do much. Honestly, when we had spoke a few weeks ago(after I saw him last) he had seemed fine and we even talked twice after that. But then when I sent him a message a few days later, he did not respond, and when I sent him another message the next day he didn't respond. And that's when I gave up and sent the email. It was too difficult for me to tell if the distance is because he was through with me, or because he had been drained from how social he had been with partying for the last 3-4 months. In addition, this pattern isn't completely off with him. Last year I thought he disliked me, when he did the same thing(all the sudden seemed distant and cold), only to find out that he had liked me that entire time, and that he wanted me to *fight* for him, and when I hadn't, it was disappointing. Which was why I was going to try to fight...
Communication has always been sporadic with him. There's not a real way for me to know whether he's done or whether he's thinking, or if he even got the email. But at this point, I figure that I should at the least give him the month or so, I said I would, before attempting anything else(that is if I do decide to reach back out). originially I was going to ask him if we could meet face to face, so that I could talk with him(have a heart-to heart) and spill my heart out in person, but like I said, after I thought about it, I realized that perhaps I should at least wait to see what happens, over the next couple of weeks(if he gets back to me or not).
What I don't get, is even if he was completely done, why not just send me an email or text back saying "No I'm not interested" and then leave it alone. Why leave it up in the air?
OAN, last year when I had stopped talking to him for a couple of months, I had asked him to be my friend on linkein(sent him the request), he responded and roughly critisized my linkedin profile picture and did not accept the friend request(I figured it was because he didn't like the picture, was upset that I had cut him off, or forgot, etc). A month or so went by(no contact) and then all of the sudden he finally accepts the friend request(I got the email saying he did)--even though I know he was an active linkein user(after all the same day I sent him the request he responded making fun of the picture) and could have accepted him within the first few days I sent in. My point? That it's really difficult to assess that his nonresponse at this point means he completely ruled out the possibility of anything with me. He could be thinking it out, stressed, isolating himself, calling my bluff(I've done things similar to this before with him only to halfway through retract what I said, or do what I said I wouldn't and not give him the space, etc he might not believe the letter at this point) or uncertain. The last time(last year) when I listened to a forum board that gave me advice about him, I took it, and cut him off, only to find out that their assesment was not true. So while I'm obviously listening to what you guys have said(which is why I have not contacted him since the email and plan not to for the rest of the month) I don't know if the situation is as futile as some have said, or not. I also know that a few weeks ago when he was very distant and I asked him if he wanted us to stop communicating orand sent him several messages about it, he responded with "I'm at work... I'll get back to you", and the next day he told me "No, I don't want you to leave me alone" the phrase "I don't want you to leave me alone" indicated to me, at the very least, that as much as I might drive him crazy, play games, etc, that he still couldn't be done with me.
I also don't believe he would have been so weird the last time we saw each other, if he was already inching out--him being physically affectionate with me, when he's never been before, him letting me into his "space", him telling me that he didn't want me to leave that night even when he seemed to be falling asleep, heck even him telling me I could spend the night, to me indicates that there are feelings there... His friends even notice how he acts differently when I'm around(one of them hinted that I should go on a "date" with him to the city)-it was as if this friend was trying to encourage me to do it(as in they knew that he liked me).
So, I'm not ruling out completely, and still have hope, but I'm also not going to reach out or try anything at this point, and am just going to try to put it to the back of my mind. Perhaps I'm being stupid. And it is correct that I don't have time to waste, but at the same time, I do believe I love him, and because of that, I am willing to wait a bit longer to see what happens.