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  1. #181
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayna View Post
    In any case it was his birthday on Wednesday. I mailed him a belated bday card this morning, just a silly platonic one. No feelz attached. I don't expect a response. Honestly I'm probably going to reach out to him, sometime soon and see if he would be willing to meet with me in person.
    Man, you are tenacious.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

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  2. #182
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    I think you can define a real man, or at least some things. A provider, a protector, a lover. Women want to feel loved/wanted, safe, and comfortable, among other things.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    The highlighted apply just as well to women, and the underscored just as well to men. We are all just as human as those laser-chasing cats are feline.
    Weeeelllll, I don't want my woman protecting me. Nor do I want a sugar mama (or do I?). And sure, I wanna feel loved and cozy and comfortable, but "safe" in regards to my self-preservation from any outside physical or verbal aggression, that's on me. And on me to provide that. Or at least in my vision.

    I had a big bad boxing coach with 3 kids and a wife tell me once that when you take on that role of family man, you, in a sense, become their bodyguard. Not that there's people trying to assassinate you, but there are dangers out there.

    I don't think that woman=man. Not that one is superior to the other, both genders have unique gifts, and are equal, but in different ways. Sure, you can get a wimpy guy that's dating a female boxing heavy weight, and makes all the money, but I'd say that's the exception.

    Virtually all species of animals, especially social ones, have specific roles that are true throughout generations and in different regions. Lions protect the pride from the threat of other male lions, and the lionesses hunt, for example. We're not lions, but that is one of MANY examples. Chimps and bonobos have different gender roles, as do baboons, wolves, jaguars, etc. etc. But within a particular species, it's generally the same.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  3. #183
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    Weeeelllll, I don't want my woman protecting me. Nor do I want a sugar mama (or do I?). And sure, I wanna feel loved and cozy and comfortable, but "safe" in regards to my self-preservation from any outside physical or verbal aggression, that's on me. And on me to provide that. Or at least in my vision.

    I had a big bad boxing coach with 3 kids and a wife tell me once that when you take on that role of family man, you, in a sense, become their bodyguard. Not that there's people trying to assassinate you, but there are dangers out there.

    I don't think that woman=man. Not that one is superior to the other, both genders have unique gifts, and are equal, but in different ways. Sure, you can get a wimpy guy that's dating a female boxing heavy weight, and makes all the money, but I'd say that's the exception.

    Virtually all species of animals, especially social ones, have specific roles that are true throughout generations and in different regions. Lions protect the pride from the threat of other male lions, and the lionesses hunt, for example. We're not lions, but that is one of MANY examples. Chimps and bonobos have different gender roles, as do baboons, wolves, jaguars, etc. etc. But within a particular species, it's generally the same.
    I suspect you have already been protected by a woman. What do think your mother would have done, had someone tried to hurt you as a child? If you want to find examples in the wild, you will see that some of the fiercest protectors are mothers defending their young. In the modern age, there are far more dangers than being attacked by thugs on the street. Perhaps your wife will be the one to set up the home computer network, with appropriate firewalls and multi-factor authentication for your online finances. Perhaps she will have a security system installed, or network with the neighborhood watch for the family. Women have always been involved in protecting their families, and always will, macho men notwithstanding.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  4. #184
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I suspect you have already been protected by a woman. What do think your mother would have done, had someone tried to hurt you as a child? If you want to find examples in the wild, you will see that some of the fiercest protectors are mothers defending their young. In the modern age, there are far more dangers than being attacked by thugs on the street. Perhaps your wife will be the one to set up the home computer network, with appropriate firewalls and multi-factor authentication for your online finances. Perhaps she will have a security system installed, or network with the neighborhood watch for the family. Women have always been involved in protecting their families, and always will, macho men notwithstanding.
    When I say "protector" I meant as a grown man, and from possible direct physical harm. I've met a lot of single moms that have bigger dogs in the home.

    Of COURSE women protect their children (and even their husbands, in ways) And in many documented cases, without mercy, and at lengths that maybe a man isn't even capable of (searching for a missing child for 20 years).
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  5. #185
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Btw, I'm going to need some closure on this thread.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  6. #186
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    Btw, I'm going to need some closure on this thread.
    lol


    The perfect woman/man combo will complement each other in the exact ways to enable them to become one flesh. God made each man and woman uniquely different, there are as many variations of expression of male and female as their are people on the earth.

    When you find the right woman/man all of those concerns will be for naught.


    edit: and i'd say the OP has some sort of reactive-attachment disorder, because every time her love interest tried to get close, she pulled away, and when he left, she desired him again.
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  7. #187
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    Long story short. I reached out to him and he was pretty much like wtf... He never got the email at all. He said he doesn't even use that email anymore and hasn't in years. He said that when I stopped contacting him he assumed i wasn't interested and that because we were just fwbs that perhaps I had moved on. In any case he said he just started seeing a girl he met last week. So I've learned a few lessons--always track emails to make sure that they are looked at and received, be honest in person and don't play games and communicate better. I still feel that at any rate if he truly felt deeply he would have checked on me to see if I had really moved on. On the otherhand, I should have trusted my instincts and contacted him and asked if he had received it-like I said I was going to do, a few weeks ago. But the one thing I feel good about is that his lack of response wasn't because of anything beyond him not getting it. He's aware of it now though, but since he's dating someone new it's too late. I plan to not contact him anymore and move on. I feel sad somewhat but also feel relief that I've got closure on this. Perhaps in many ways learnin these lessons will help me with the next guy I meet. I always feel like if a situation doesn't work out right, and you feel like you did what you could, that it's because either it was not going to work out the right way and the universe was simply helping to detour that. Also in most cases it's because there is something even better for you.

    So with that being said, now that this chapter is closed, I'm ready to move on and feel(surprisingly) okay about it. He now knows how I feel-if he ever reads it, and at least there is that.

  8. #188
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayna View Post
    Long story short. I reached out to him and he was pretty much like wtf... He never got the email at all. He said he doesn't even use that email anymore and hasn't in years. He said that when I stopped contacting him he assumed i wasn't interested and that because we were just fwbs that perhaps I had moved on. In any case he said he just started seeing a girl he met last week. So I've learned a few lessons--always track emails to make sure that they are looked at and received, be honest in person and don't play games and communicate better. I still feel that at any rate if he truly felt deeply he would have checked on me to see if I had really moved on. On the otherhand, I should have trusted my instincts and contacted him and asked if he had received it-like I said I was going to do, a few weeks ago. But the one thing I feel good about is that his lack of response wasn't because of anything beyond him not getting it. He's aware of it now though, but since he's dating someone new it's too late. I plan to not contact him anymore and move on. I feel sad somewhat but also feel relief that I've got closure on this. Perhaps in many ways learnin these lessons will help me with the next guy I meet. I always feel like if a situation doesn't work out right, and you feel like you did what you could, that it's because either it was not going to work out the right way and the universe was simply helping to detour that. Also in most cases it's because there is something even better for you.

    So with that being said, now that this chapter is closed, I'm ready to move on and feel(surprisingly) okay about it. He now knows how I feel-if he ever reads it, and at least there is that.
    I feel some closure on this thread.

    And you seem to have a clear head about it. Definitely sadness will come, but all part of healing and shit. It'll pass.

    Kind of wild that he never got the email. Like you hinted at, could be a sign from the universe. I personally take those things as important signs.

    I'm certainly not planting seeds in your head, as you probably already thought of it or it's already happened, but I wonder what his response to the email is.

    In any case, glad this chapter is closed or closing. Good luck!
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  9. #189
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    Hmm. Yep there is sadness but I'm ok. And yes I do wonder if once he reads it now that he's aware that he should check this email what he will think. In any case him moving on after five weeks of us not talking and being that exclusive means it's serious and that he most likely never felt that way about me since he did not move that quickly with me.

  10. #190
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayna View Post
    I always feel like if a situation doesn't work out right, and you feel like you did what you could, that it's because either it was not going to work out the right way and the universe was simply helping to detour that. Also in most cases it's because there is something even better for you.
    This has been my experience as well. It sounds like you are being quite reasonable about the whole thing, and learning what you can from it to help you in the future. Good luck!
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

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