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  1. #101
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    @rayna Can I just say (as I've been reading along) how impressed I am at your (seemingly) calm responses to a good amount of criticism on this thread, and also having to repeat yourself constantly! The latter would drive me nuts, I've even gotten a little exasperated when a post here has caused you to rehash details reflected earlier in the thread.

    A word of caution: whatever you do or don't do, never take to heart completely the advice of everyone (not that you technically could). This is about you and him, and you know the history of that much better than you've even described to us here.
    Completely agree. She's been classy and honest.

    Had she not been, we wouldn't know what we do.
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  2. #102
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayna View Post
    you remind me of an ex of mine
    He sounds like a handsome, strapping young lad.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  3. #103
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Default Is he going to ignore me?

    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    @rayna Can I just say (as I've been reading along) how impressed I am at your (seemingly) calm responses to a good amount of criticism on this thread, and also having to repeat yourself constantly! The latter would drive me nuts, I've even gotten a little exasperated when a post here has caused you to rehash details reflected earlier in the thread.
    Yes, she's taken the carrot and the stick gracefully.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.
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  4. #104
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnnyyukon View Post
    Yes, she's taken the carrot and the stick gracefully.
    Perhaps responding to the sticks has caused her to bypass some of the carrots. It helps to review information already posted before (re)posting additional questions.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
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  5. #105
    noʎ ɟo ǝʇnɔ ʍoH Mademoiselle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    @rayna Can I just say (as I've been reading along) how impressed I am at your (seemingly) calm responses to a good amount of criticism on this thread, and also having to repeat yourself constantly! The latter would drive me nuts, I've even gotten a little exasperated when a post here has caused you to rehash details reflected earlier in the thread.

    A word of caution: whatever you do or don't do, never take to heart completely the advice of everyone (not that you technically could). This is about you and him, and you know the history of that much better than you've even described to us here.

    Critique doesn’t mean offence.
    Offence is rude.
    Imagine this is the best thing you've ever read.

  6. #106
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    Haha, I have found some posts a little insulting but overall I feel like everyone has given me insight. Like I said before I started this thread, I had thought that he would be able to answer my letter right away, but after hearing some intjs tell me the process that intjs usually go through when put in this situation, so i at least don't feel as bad.

    I do know him and I am trying to keep that in mind when considering the advice. I'm thinking about the fact that it's always taken him a while whenever it's come to changing the dynamics of our relationship, so I'm trying not to assume the worse just because he's taking a while to get back to me.

    A question i have, that I thought about just now, is it a good thing if an intj wants you to be more comfortable in their home and personal space, or like if an intj is suddenly more physically expressive whereas before they were not? Or is it natural that once you have sex with an intj that they will automatically start being more physically affectionate?

    And granted this might all be irrelevant but I looked at this as a sign that perhaps this could be positive that his interactions with me have progressed in some way.

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayna View Post
    Haha, I have found some posts a little insulting but overall I feel like everyone has given me insight. Like I said before I started this thread, I had thought that he would be able to answer my letter right away, but after hearing some intjs tell me the process that intjs usually go through when put in this situation, so i at least don't feel as bad.

    I do know him and I am trying to keep that in mind when considering the advice. I'm thinking about the fact that it's always taken him a while whenever it's come to changing the dynamics of our relationship, so I'm trying not to assume the worse just because he's taking a while to get back to me.

    A question i have, that I thought about just now, is it a good thing if an intj wants you to be more comfortable in their home and personal space, or like if an intj is suddenly more physically expressive whereas before they were not? Or is it natural that once you have sex with an intj that they will automatically start being more physically affectionate?

    And granted this might all be irrelevant but I looked at this as a sign that perhaps this could be positive that his interactions with me have progressed in some way.
    Duuuuuurr, I'm only responding cuz I'm not sure it's an INTJ thing. But I'll let an INTJ answer fully.

    When I finally manage to get past the defenses and storm the castle, so to speak, I'm MUCH more physically affectionate. To me, it's all a game up to that point. Before hand, I'm going to keep my hands off and generally act physically aloof, maybe a hug. Maybe a wet willy, haha. But once I'm inside the fortress, I feel more calm and relaxed and shed a lot of armor. Especially if she's into me.

    A good thing if some guy wants you to be comfortable in their home and personal space? No, it means he totally doesn't want you around. <sarcasm.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  8. #108
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayna View Post

    A question i have, that I thought about just now, is it a good thing if an intj wants you to be more comfortable in their home and personal space, or like if an intj is suddenly more physically expressive whereas before they were not?
    Yes probably. If they've allowed you in their personal space, it's also likely they would be more affectionate. Unless they aren't into you that way.

    Or is it natural that once you have sex with an intj that they will automatically start being more physically affectionate?
    No, not necessarily. Not every INTJ puts sex and affection in the same category (I don't).
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  9. #109
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    Thanks... That's what I don't get, I suppose. Over the year that we've known each other, he's introduced me to all of his closest friends. And most recently, the last two times I was at his place, he wanted me to get comfortable. For instance, he the last time I saw him, he kept asking me why I was holding so tightly to my purse and why won't I just get comfortable. And he wanted me to take my shoes off, and he kept making a big deal about me not taking my shoes off, and he said I was being anti-social because I wouldn't relax and get comfortable, and because I didn't want him rubbing my thighs. He had told me I could go into his fridge, and I even asked, "Your okay with me going into your fridge?" and he said, "yes". The physical affection was initiated by him(he laid his head on my shoulder and laid on me, while we watched a movie--but later he did try to do sexual stuff, so it might have been a ploy to lead to sex). I kept asking him afterwards, if he wanted me to leave because he kept falling asleep and he seemed tired, and he kept shaking his head no, and even mumbled that I could stay over, I ended up going home anyway(and he seemed surprised when I decided to leave to go home) but he walked me to my car and that was that. We talked a couple of days later, than talked again once more(both times small talk) and then I didn't talk to him for a few days, and when I sent him a silly text after a few days of us not talking, no response. The following day, another "no response" from him. That is what prompted me to write the letter. In the past whenever he gives me the silent treatment for more than one day, it's because I said or did something that upset him. But this time, I'm unsure what the problem was. I wrote the letter because I'm sick of it, but it's so puzzling to me. There were some issues the night that we saw each other(me not getting comfortable enough for him, and then not reading his cue about something and accidently pushing him away, and I was upset about something but later realized that he was giving me a piece of my own medicine), but we still talked after that night, so I assumed things were fine. I wouldn't have wrote the letter, in all honesty(at least not yet, I would have waited until I saw him again in person) if he hadn't given me the silent treatment again for some "unknown" reason.

    OAN, whenever I come over his friends act really weird around me. That's another thing. Like they're very friendly and stuff, but they make me feel really weird--they give me weird smiles and I just get a really weird feeling. I have no clue if it all even means anything, but I'm wondering now if his lack of response also has something to do with him being upset about something that happened the last time we saw each other that he has not spoken up about.

  10. #110
    Male johnnyyukon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rayna View Post
    Thanks... That's what I don't get, I suppose. Over the year that we've known each other, he's introduced me to all of his closest friends. And most recently, the last two times I was at his place, he wanted me to get comfortable. For instance, he the last time I saw him, he kept asking me why I was holding so tightly to my purse and why won't I just get comfortable. And he wanted me to take my shoes off, and he kept making a big deal about me not taking my shoes off, and he said I was being anti-social because I wouldn't relax and get comfortable, and because I didn't want him rubbing my thighs. He had told me I could go into his fridge, and I even asked, "Your okay with me going into your fridge?" and he said, "yes". The physical affection was initiated by him(he laid his head on my shoulder and laid on me, while we watched a movie--but later he did try to do sexual stuff, so it might have been a ploy to lead to sex). I kept asking him afterwards, if he wanted me to leave because he kept falling asleep and he seemed tired, and he kept shaking his head no, and even mumbled that I could stay over, I ended up going home anyway(and he seemed surprised when I decided to leave to go home) but he walked me to my car and that was that. We talked a couple of days later, than talked again once more(both times small talk) and then I didn't talk to him for a few days, and when I sent him a silly text after a few days of us not talking, no response. The following day, another "no response" from him. That is what prompted me to write the letter. In the past whenever he gives me the silent treatment for more than one day, it's because I said or did something that upset him. But this time, I'm unsure what the problem was. I wrote the letter because I'm sick of it, but it's so puzzling to me. There were some issues the night that we saw each other(me not getting comfortable enough for him, and then not reading his cue about something and accidently pushing him away, and I was upset about something but later realized that he was giving me a piece of my own medicine), but we still talked after that night, so I assumed things were fine. I wouldn't have wrote the letter, in all honesty(at least not yet, I would have waited until I saw him again in person) if he hadn't given me the silent treatment again for some "unknown" reason.

    OAN, whenever I come over his friends act really weird around me. That's another thing. Like they're very friendly and stuff, but they make me feel really weird--they give me weird smiles and I just get a really weird feeling. I have no clue if it all even means anything, but I'm wondering now if his lack of response also has something to do with him being upset about something that happened the last time we saw each other that he has not spoken up about.
    After I have slept with a woman, especially one I really like, I expect to have more sexy time. Cuz, why not? I like sex.

    And if she's not putting out, then what the hell are we? Friends? No thanks. Bye.
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

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