I hesitate to focus on my own experience since it necessarily anecdotal, but since you asked: I never experienced the "mother hen" behavior you describe, whether on the giving or receiving end. I don't remember being encouraged to be nurturing or emotionally open (nor was I discouraged from it), but neither quality is in my nature, and perhaps my parents simply realized this early on and decided not to force the issue. They did expect and encourage me to be polite, honest, responsible, and to have a good work ethic - good qualities for anyone, and well attuned to my own expectations for myself. Much of what they considered politeness did seem stupid to me as a child, but even there I have always had a natural tendency toward basic courtesy, perhaps because it can be an effective tool in maintaining interpersonal distance.
I'm not sure what you mean by gender roles in society helping me get an edge. First, I don't know that I have an edge; second, I have never paid gender roles much heed, at least consciously. Any edge I do have comes from a combination of analysis, detachment, and simple choice of personal priorities. When you really don't care what anyone thinks or expects, the social landscape simplifies considerably.