Okay man, I don't know what it is, but I am a magnet for creepy dudes. And I'm ready to revolt.
It's partially my own fault I guess. I treat girls and guys the same when I first meet them - I blanket them with an even layer of friendliness (charm to disarm) - and then adapt according to their personalities as they unfold. Unfortnately, this blanket friendly approach manages to suck in those passive-aggressive, socially wonkered (nothing wrong with that in and of itself but imagine it in combination with the other traits), woman-pedestaling, covertly misogynistic types like the master vortex of hell. Like I said, I know it's partially my fault. If a person is nice to me when I first meet them, I'm more likely to try to get closer to them than I would be otherwise, so I shouldn't be surprised when my approach results in some reciprocation. But dude. Why is it that the only guys that reciprocate tend to fit this general profile?
The latest suspect was introduced to me through a friend who apparently is trying to hook us up (why why why why). Now, I tried to be very casual, hoping this set-up situation wasn't what it appeared to be. I talked mostly to my friend, because the dude was really quiet anyway, and I asked him a couple questions but they were very generalized, just for the sake of establishing some sort of rapport since it's sort of wierd just leaving someone out like that. As the hang-out session continued on, we wandered up to the library because my friend needed to get some books. As I helped her find her stuff (the decimal system is nutz!), I observed as the dude proceeded to take her bag from her and hold some books. Now, I mean, that's a nice thing to do, right? Heck, if he hadn't done it for her, I probably would have. But let's do a background check. My friend is married. When I found out that her and this dude hang out regularly, I asked if he had a crush on her. "Yes," indeed he did. Mmmkay. I hope this isn't one of those doormat things. Well, anyhow...
Walking towards our cars, we continued to talk (we being me and my friend). During brief periods of silence in between subjects, I saw my friend out of the corner of my eye nudging at this dude - surely provoking him to talk to me (or god forbid ask me out). Fortunately he didn't respond to her encouragement. She went her own way and me and the dude were left together.
Not wanting to be an asshole, I asked him where he was parked and we began walking. I asked him a bunch of general get-to-know-you questions since he obviously wasn't going to say much. I found out that he was an electrical engineering major, and he left school in the 7th grade because he was rully smart. Right before parting he says, "You know your friend was trying to set us up, right?" I was like, "Yeah, I sort of suspected it, but I'm the kind of person who needs to get to know a guy a bit before I get set up." He then continues to stand around, and then asks me if I was going to go swimming with him and my friend sometime (they do that regularly on campus). I thought, "Oh, great, you'd get to see me in a bikini, wouldn't you....do I have any giant shirts...?" Trying to move on, I said, "Yeah, I'm sure we'll see each other soon," and we left to our respective parking places. I wish I could properly convey the awkwardness.
ANYHOW, after past experiences I've had with other dudes, I'm extremely wary, as this kind of personality pattern is looking very familiar. Some might tell me, "give it a chance, don't judge." Last time I went against my gut feeling and took that advice, I almost got stuck with a suicidal emotional manipulator who, though he was a very intelligent guy, couldn't wait to get "intimate" with me after like two short meetups (/VOMIT). I mean he actually told me that. You might think it, but you never tell it.
...I have no problems simply getting to know the guy as I would anyone else, but I can't stand it when I think a guy may have "expectations." And if my friend's encouragement is the only reason he may be interested, I guess I need to go after my friend. Hopefully I'm just being paranoid. But after past instances, I think I have reason to be suspicious.
Ahhh...just wanted to put that into words.