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  1. #1
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Default NTs: How do you show appreciation?

    An exchange got me thinking about how less than forthcoming NTs usually are about their feelings (I even hate typing the word).

    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    Yeah, I may not be the norm on this one, but expressive men (who are open about their feelings/moods/ etc.) make me so happy. I just wanna and then *sexy emoticon*
    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    Have you ever dealt with one? It is all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. They can get mighty huffy if you are not as . . . shall we say "expressive".
    Quote Originally Posted by phoenix13 View Post
    Hey, I'm an ENFP. It's not a problem!

    I am aware that this is a sore point for many NTs, self-included. For example, if I tell a girlfriend I haven't seen in a while that I miss her, there is a good chance she will ask what I've been drinking or think I'm putting her on, just because it is so rare. NTs, how do you do it? Do you prefer to demonstrate appreciation for the people in your life by doing things to make them happy or giving them gifts instead of saying it? Do you bite the bullet and try to be verbally expressive? Are you touchy feely?
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  2. #2
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    I verbally use some form of the word "thanks." It sounds (and feels) a little awkward when doing this to other guys so I keep it short. To other women I don't mind giving them a prolonged grin while saying it, 'cause it feels less awkward.

    I'm not usually good about giving thanks though, and my likelihood of doing so changes with mood.
    intp | type 9w1 sp/sx/so

  3. #3
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    I don't have issues with saying thanks, but I often think it is not enough, especially over long-range things where it is not a snapshot event to be thankful for or appreciative of.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I don't think I used to like to say thanks when I was younger, I usually would just try to reciprocate.

    At some point that changed, and I enjoy letting someone know when they've done something that meant a lot to me or that I merely appreciated what they did / were trying to do. I try to keep it proportional to the gift, though, and don't overdo it even if I haven't gotten all my thoughts out yet on the matter; if I sense discomfort, I make it short and sweet and just ditch the rest.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Pretty much, if you're in my presence and I'm not sulking, I appreciate your company.

    Although, this isn't enough for most people...
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  6. #6
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    With anyone I care about, I'm very open and verbally expressive about my feelings. Unless I'm extremely busy or stressed, I don't think most of them would know I was a T rather than an F.

    I actually think this is the best way to relate to everyone, including other T's.

  7. #7
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I don't think I used to like to say thanks when I was younger, I usually would just try to reciprocate.

    At some point that changed, and I enjoy letting someone know when they've done something that meant a lot to me or that I merely appreciated what they did / were trying to do.
    Do you also enjoy showing your appreciation for who they are, or for their company?

    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Pretty much, if you're in my presence and I'm not sulking, I appreciate your company.

    Although, this isn't enough for most people...
    No it isn't. It is a crying shame, isn't it?

    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    With anyone I care about, I'm very open and verbally expressive about my feelings. Unless I'm extremely busy or stressed, I don't think most of them would know I was a T rather than an F.

    I actually think this is the best way to relate to everyone, including other T's.
    Wow. Were you always like that or did you mature into it?
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  8. #8
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I generally find it MUCH easier to just reciprocate or do something nice for someone. Expressing my feelings makes me feel awkward. Though there are certain personalities that sort of bring out my feely side, and I can reciprocate with them without feeling odd about it.
    Something Witty

  9. #9
    Senior Member edel weiss's Avatar
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    I express my feelings from time to time. I don't generally tell people I appreciate them, now that I think about it. If I'm talking to them, if I seek them out, and initiate conversations with them I assume they know I like them.

    I do remember telling my best friends how much I loved them when I was drunk once. And I cuddle up to my parents when I'm in a certain kind of mood. That's about it.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
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    The INTJ I know (who is not forthcoming with feelings at all verbally) will do things like give little gifts. I have interpreted this as his way of saying "thanks" or "I care" (or occasionally "I'm sorry").

    As an INFJ, I'm so full of words and so used to expressing them that this economy of expression can be very frustrating for me because it's not how I do things. But it has helped to consider that there are different ways to say thanks/I care.
    INFJ

    "I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

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