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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dom View Post
    Ok, so let me get this right, you use the opportunities to show someone how much you appreciate them to demostrate what an amazingly talented person you are? You take the opportunity as a stage to present yourself in all your glory? Hehe, how terribly ENTP of you!

    Each to their own, but this kind of thing led me to distrust ENTPS expressions of affection, if it sounds too good to be true it probably is!
    Essentially, yes, but you're making it sound different than it really is. I also mentioned that when I feel the urge, I just come out and say something sweet because I mean it. And I mentioned that I don't care about how they respond. I'd hope they like what I said, but I'm not doing it just to boost my ego. It's all genuine.

    It's of no consequence to me if you don't see it that way. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is, unless it's me. Then you're just lucky! (I jest, but I honestly don't think I'm insincere with it all.)
    "When a resolute young fellow steps up the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    For some people, the mere realization of being appreciated may not be enough; they want you to convey it in ways that resonate with them, or else it is not really real.
    This happened with an ESFP friend of mine. The way I showed appreciation didn't seem real to him. He used "Real" verbatim.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by htb View Post
    I use typical words and gestures where it's the local currency, and express appreciation when I think it's deserved.
    Me too.
    "He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."
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  4. #34
    Senior Member Fiver's Avatar
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    If you think of your relationships as systems (which can come naturally to an NT), then showing appreciation is a way to make the system work better and with less effort.

    However, if you truly appreciate someone and want them to know it, it must be in a form that means something to them. Otherwise, it will not be effective. And why go through the effort if it's not going to be effective?

    If I'm focusing on my own personality, gifts, limitations, etc to package my appreciation, it's really just about me. Isn't it? For example, if I show my appreciation by giving you a big, fat comfy hug and you hate to be touched? Errrrr...you are not going to feel appreciated.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Greatly depends on how well I know them/how comfortable I am around them. It's much easier for me to be emotionally expressive (Fi, not Fe) with feelers - among other (N)Ts no words need be said/I'm not that inclined to say appreciative stuff.

  6. #36
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Funny. It depends, I guess. With mild to moderate feelers, that may work. With strong feelers, I absolutely freeze up and roboticize esp. if they expect reciprocation (and alas they do). No can do. GTFO or I'm heading for the hills. But I sometimes like playing Ms. Fluffy to Robots myself. The operative word there being "playing".
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  7. #37
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    Ts: thank you

    Fs: I try hugs, cause the words they are looking for usually feel false to me

  8. #38
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    Funny. It depends, I guess. With mild to moderate feelers, that may work. With strong feelers, I absolutely freeze up and roboticize esp. if they expect reciprocation (and alas they do). No can do. GTFO or I'm heading for the hills. But I sometimes like playing Ms. Fluffy to Robots myself. The operative word there being "playing".
    As long as fluffy play is born out of sincer appreciation then this is fine; besides, there are still things that need to be decided on and dealt with where the cuddly doesn't help.

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Ts: thank you

    Fs: I try hugs, cause the words they are looking for usually feel false to me
    For some of us, words are nice, but the hug goes much more appreciated. I feel unnaturally obligated when words are used, to tell you the truth; it feels like someone is expecting something of me.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #39
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    As long as fluffy play is born out of sincer appreciation then this is fine; besides, there are still things that need to be decided on and dealt with where the cuddly doesn't help.
    Fie upon your suspicions. 'Tis ever sincere.

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    For some of us, words are nice, but the hug goes much more appreciated. I feel unnaturally obligated when words are used, to tell you the truth; it feels like someone is expecting something of me.
    Cosign all of this.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  10. #40
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    Fie upon your suspicions. 'Tis ever sincere.
    I was being general. My experience with NTs has been that I don't have to worry about this when it's coming from them, though.

    Cosign all of this.
    I understand what cosign means, but who is supposed to do it?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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