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  1. #11
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    Just say it. They don't seem to care about all the fruity stuff as much as that the feelings exist. An example of a good feeling conversation with an INTJ I had online:

    INTJ: I don't usually say this, but I really care about you.
    INTP: I feel the same way.
    (five minutes later)
    INTJ: So want to play warcraft iii?
    INTP: Okay.

  2. #12
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    You should ask this question at INTJf.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by >_< View Post
    Just say it. They don't seem to care about all the fruity stuff as much as that the feelings exist. An example of a good feeling conversation with an INTJ I had online:

    INTJ: I don't usually say this, but I really care about you.
    INTP: I feel the same way.
    (five minutes later)
    INTJ: So want to play warcraft iii?
    INTP: Okay.
    lmao. Too true.

  4. #14
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    I'm really glad you brought this up because I've been meaning to talk to you about this however I can only go by my INTJ.

    He doesn't like to hear things aren't going well so I keep everything running as smoothly as possible. He is very logical and doesn't use feelings when making decisions (duh). I've asked him many times so will this work out? How do you "feel" about it and he has nothing other than deductive reasoning/logic where as rely mostly on how I feel. Mine is very playful which is a plus.

    INTJ's like a challenge. If you give them yourself on a platter they'll get bored rather quickly and move on if not physically then emotionally as in there will be no bond but they'll get together if they're bored and have nothing better to do and probably only if you do the contacting.

    I don't think having a heart to heart with him will make any difference and you'll probably be left feeling wounded which isn't great when trying to move forward, however I don't know this person at all so I could be wrong (I'm usually not). The information you've provided about him seems to me that your best bet is to think of yourself and keep looking forward. I never look back when I've made a decision and revisiting old lovers and such is just a waste of time from my experiences.

    I hope this helps some.

    Jen xoxo

    edit: excuse the run on sentences, getting ready for pickup and swimming lessons.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    ...they'll get together if they're bored and have nothing better to do and probably only if you do the contacting.
    My friends hate that I never call them. It isn't that I don't want to or that I have forgotten about them... its just that usually there are a million other things going on and I'll think 'Oh, I need to remember to call X when I get off work...' and then I end up having something else in my head that completely pushes it from my head.

  6. #16

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    I agree with some previous posters that you need to be specific and unambiguous. I don't think we INTJs willfully reject or dismiss feeling, we just really have trouble understanding it. Especially understanding how certain actions lead to certain feelings. So if you lay it out like a legal case, we'll respond best. I know if it were me, i'd listen. I'd be very concerned because I realize that I don't intuit the feelings of others very well and so I'm constantly worrying that innocuous comments or actions are going to appear dismissive, insulting or uncaring.


    And wow, this could be me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    My friends hate that I never call them. It isn't that I don't want to or that I have forgotten about them... its just that usually there are a million other things going on and I'll think 'Oh, I need to remember to call X when I get off work...' and then I end up having something else in my head that completely pushes it from my head.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  7. #17
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by >_< View Post
    Just say it. They don't seem to care about all the fruity stuff as much as that the feelings exist. An example of a good feeling conversation with an INTJ I had online:

    INTJ: I don't usually say this, but I really care about you.
    INTP: I feel the same way.
    (five minutes later)
    INTJ: So want to play warcraft iii?
    INTP: Okay.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by >_< View Post
    INTJ: I don't usually say this, but I really care about you.
    INTP: I feel the same way.
    (five minutes later)
    INTJ: So want to play warcraft iii?
    INTP: Okay.
    lol Indeed. I don't mind saying flowery things now and then, but if I have to dwell on it, I get uncomfortable. Quick and to the point is the best way to deal with INTJ feelings.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by >_< View Post
    Just say it. They don't seem to care about all the fruity stuff as much as that the feelings exist. An example of a good feeling conversation with an INTJ I had online:

    INTJ: I don't usually say this, but I really care about you.
    INTP: I feel the same way.
    (five minutes later)
    INTJ: So want to play warcraft iii?
    INTP: Okay.
    Ha, so true. Get to the point and move on.

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